Definitions by Oprah

LSD

Long
Slow
Dump


I gotta take a long,slow dump!

Oh man I'm really feelin that LSD now!

LSD by Oprah March 13, 2005

dr. phil 

The bald madman on daily TV whose idea of therapy involves yelling at those who seek his guidance. Was at one time Oprah's bitch, but he now has his own show and thinks he's too good for her sexy ass.

Whenever people ask me for advice, I simply apply what I've learned from Dr. Phil: I yell at them and tell them how stupid and lazy they are and how all of their problems are their fault.

dr. phil by Oprah March 11, 2003

log 

1) A journal or diary
2) Slang for fecal matter, especially of the long, cylindrical variety

1) After a stressful day, I enjoy sitting down and letting all my anxiety out through my log.
2) My day is never complete until I have pondered life's great mysteries while producing my log.

log by Oprah March 11, 2003

megalog 

A piece of fecal matter (or log) that is of exquisitely generous dimensions. Such robust specimens are the bane of low-flow toilets the world over.

The megalog I had been composing for 42 minutes not only plugged the toilet drain, it also pierced the surface a good 4 inches.

megalog by Oprah March 11, 2003

tiger woods 

An ASIAN/African-American professional golfer who attended Stanford University in Palo Alto, CA but dropped out, only to become the second most successful college drop-out in recent history (wanna guess who #1 is?).

I watched in amazement the other day as Tiger Woods absolutely destroyed those country club boys at the golf tournament.

tiger woods by Oprah March 8, 2003

SNL 

Was once ONE OF THE GREATEST sketch comedy shows (Monty Python, anyone?) until great performers like Phil Hartman, Mike Meyers, and Dana Carvey left along with all the writers who actually knew what irreverent humor was all about.

I love watching old SNL re-runs on Comedy Central, but that new SNL shit is just sad and depressingly un-funny. I think I'm gonna shoot myself now.

SNL by Oprah February 25, 2003

hot monkey sex 

Very wild sexual intercourse that may or may not involve the use of monkeys.

After the annual Barn Dance, Joe-Bob and Mary-Joe had hot monkey sex in the stable, waking up all the animals in the process.

hot monkey sex by Oprah February 25, 2003