NotPieGuy's definitions

Phil Swift

An immortal, godlike being with powers beyond human comprehension. Capable of destroying entire universes with just as little as a snap of his fingers.

John: Oh my god! It's Phil Swift!
Sam: Bow! Bow to him! Bow to our lord!
Phil Swift: Worry not, my children. I have come to bless you with my mighty powers. You may now fix anything with the power of Flex Tape.
John and Sam: Thank you god! Thank you!

by NotPieGuy January 21, 2021

Procrastinigger

Derogatory term for a person who procrastinates excessively

"You are a lazy procrastinigger"

by NotPieGuy November 30, 2023

Setup laugh

A fake laugh performed as set-up for a joke, sarcastic comment, or other form of spoken comedy/humor.

John performed a setup laugh for a joke about war when his friend, Sam, began a conversation about the sporadically-appearing eight-foot-tall screaming skinless corpse that kept showing up when he was eating cereal.

by NotPieGuy September 18, 2021

Open-eyed sleepwalking

Officially named lagophthalmogic somnambulism, open-eyed sleepwalking is a condition in which a person is awake, but appears so exhausted and worn out that they may very well just be sleepwalking with their eyes open.

John: What’s wrong with Richard?
Sam: He’s open-eyed sleepwalking. He had to stay up all last night working on some ASL assignments.
John: Poor guy…

by NotPieGuy December 8, 2021

Reel coma

A state of altered consciousness characterized by idly scrolling Instagram reels with minimal conscious thought/overall awareness of one's surroundings and situation, similar to brain death

I was late to my ensoulment because I was in a reel coma.

by NotPieGuy November 29, 2024

Bruno Mars

If pure funk was a person.

Bruno Mars has a voice of silk and the height of a house elf.

by NotPieGuy August 19, 2022

Chanostalgia

The feeling of mixed loss, anger, grief, and sadness experienced when an opportunity has been wasted.

John: I'm getting serious chanostalgia right now.
Sam: Why?
John: Jessie was going to slob my knob but gave up.
Sam: W...Why?
John: Dunkin Donuts :sob:

by NotPieGuy December 26, 2022