12 definitions by No Tango and no Cash

When cousins are all at the beach surfing, and one has a totally hairy chest while the others are all baby-seal-slick, that hairy cousin has Francis Fur.

Francis Fur grows like a genetic mutation, and can not be easily shaved. Razors clog and break so tree trimmers are needed. Francis Fur creates enough static electricity on a dry winter day to power a house for a week.

Francis Fur has a Velcro effect and must be covered by a cotton shirt, preferably one with a 4 leaf Irish clover logo on it, in order to prevent static cling to any item.
During a family get together, Uncle Kurt told everyone a surfing story:

“Wow, when cousin Steve, went surfing with cousin Damon, they were riding a wave and really carving the tube. All of a sudden, both boards got magically stuck in the water and they both flew off into the rotor.”

“When they cam up, both boards were stuck to cousin Fran, who had been body surfing in the path. Apparently, his Francis Fur velcroed the boards because he didn’t have his t-shirt on.”

“Luckily, neither Steve nor Damon were injured when the boards were ripped out from under them.”
by No Tango and no Cash September 29, 2023
Get the Francis Fur mug.
When a girl shaves her eyebrows off so she can draw in or stick on new ones that look totally different on her face.

Ashley Brows are usually angled at least 45 degrees and if they came together would look like the C7 Chevrolet Corvette symbol.

Ashley Brows can make you look mean or like you are really focused on a person to the point of straining your eyes, even though you may be completely relaxed in reality.

When Ashley Brows are over widely opened eyes where you can see white all the way around the iris, they are called Mings - because Ashley Brows. An make you look like Ming the Merciless from Glash Gordon.
“Yo, when Steve took Ashley to the Tampa Bay Lightning game- she donned her Ashley Brows. It took her 1 hr to shave off her natural eyebrows and pencil in some Mings.”

Steve is a flyers fan and wore his old #1 Bernie P jersey, while Ashley wore her all Blue Stamkos, #91 jersey. Steve had to tell
Some other flyers fans at the game to knock it off when they kept calling Ashley “Flash” when TB scored. Steve had to clarify that it’s not Flash but Ming the Merciless…an easy mistake with the big lightning bolt on the front of Ashley’s jersey.
by No Tango and no Cash September 20, 2023
Get the Ashley brows mug.
the act or offense of speaking sacrilegiously about a racially sacred things; as a joke when in the company of really close friends of relative different races. profane talk amongst ball busting, close-knit friends to test boundaries of jokes about their race.

Blasracephemy does not occur outside friend circles that allow the topic being ball-busted to occur. Tolerance amongst friends is key as blasracephemy is actually a loving way of showing respect and admiration in a way normal human interaction out of the “circle of trust” would not understand.
I almost mistook the blasracephemy between Eugene and Fran the wrong way when Fran was ripping Eugene’s appearance as a result of his Amish heritage. But then, Eugene shot back at Fran’s gay tendencies to eat cock candies as part of his Irish-Catholic upbringing. After they high fived each other and laughed - then I knew they were just busting balls.

I wish other people would stop being so sensitive and find a funny way to show thick skin about sensitive topics; and see the best in people the way Eugene and Fran do.
by No Tango and no Cash October 5, 2023
Get the blasracephemy mug.
That guy that always brags about his shit. He always has the best, the only, the original, and the thing nobody else could have.

There is no way to impress Top Tier Travis and youshouldn’t even try because you will have to endure 1000 texts about his greatness with complete denial of any of his weaknesses.

He does have a nice wife, but she always travels without him. She seems to wear the pants in Top Tier Travis’s house. He would never admit it though!
OMG, Top Tier Travis just started a company and he is texting that his ideas were first, he copyrighted them, and every company wants his services. I looked on Yelp and he received 20 reviews all saying “what and asshole” but they had fun on - business trip with his wife last week when she gave them TTT’s referral.
by No Tango and no Cash September 17, 2023
Get the Top Tier Travis mug.
When your company says they fought hard for a raise - but knew there wasn’t enough money in the budget and a reduction in pay was coming.

So you get a raise for the last 3 months of one fiscal year and then they pull it back as the new fiscal year starts…then initiate a cut in pay, essentially wiping out your pay raise and even making you poorer.
Person 1: Hey, did you see we are getting a TSA Pay Raise this year?

Person 2: Yea, here comes 3 months of pay at the rate we deserve and then a fiscal year take back followed by a reduction in pay.

Person 1: There goes my morale. I think I’m going to try being a truck driver.
by No Tango and no Cash September 14, 2023
Get the TSA Pay Raise mug.