When the cousins all meet in Tampa and want to have a good time- and they end up dragging a dead weight cousin around all week.
Damon and Terrence flew to Florida for a Weekend at Bernie and Steve’s! Damon didn’t want to go to the strip club though because he was scared his wife would kill him - so Terrence has to drag him around all weekend
by No Tango and no Cash March 26, 2024
Somebody who lifts weights, wears oxygen reduction exercise masks, has more “We The People” shirts then most people have socks, has a ball cap with either MAGA or Trump’s smirk face on it, and carries around an aluminum, gallon-sized Thermos water bottle that clangs like a flagpole on a windy day because he has it carabiner-clipped to his 80 lb MOLLE system backpack.
This guy also designs memes all day long to really bust on his friends but gets really mad when they do it back. He also gets multiple suspensions from Facebook from his crude and insightful language and harsh stereotypes expressed.
Still, he is good buddy, but likes to get everyone else in on a joke against you just to keep you humble. He is still an asshole though.
This guy also designs memes all day long to really bust on his friends but gets really mad when they do it back. He also gets multiple suspensions from Facebook from his crude and insightful language and harsh stereotypes expressed.
Still, he is good buddy, but likes to get everyone else in on a joke against you just to keep you humble. He is still an asshole though.
Gay Greg took that picture of me and my wife and superimposed Biden’s face over hers. He captioned that we were best buds and if you looked closely our hands were on each other’s butts. Gay Greg is an asshole. He still
makes me laugh, though. He doesn’t know I wiped my ass on his water jug. I laugh every time I hear him clanging down the hall because I know he is taking sips of my poo!
makes me laugh, though. He doesn’t know I wiped my ass on his water jug. I laugh every time I hear him clanging down the hall because I know he is taking sips of my poo!
by No Tango and no Cash September 17, 2023
A location on Google maps where a cousin in a large Irish Catholic Family lives. The court is shaped like a single nut-ball sack with a big cock.
This cousin receives “bag of Dicks” gifts and “I’m gay” gear from the other members of the SFFL fantasy football league.
Damon loves living at One Ball Court in Gloucester County, NJ! He will never move.
This cousin receives “bag of Dicks” gifts and “I’m gay” gear from the other members of the SFFL fantasy football league.
Damon loves living at One Ball Court in Gloucester County, NJ! He will never move.
Cousin Damon got beat by cousin Fran again in fantasy. Under Rule 2018:005, Fran now has the right to bust Damon’s balls all week.
As punishment, Fran mailed a 300 pack of “bag of dicks” gifts to Damon at One Ball Court.
None of us can figure out why Damon moved his family to a court shaped like a uni-testical hanging from a really long cock. Guess he wants a lifetime supply of those bags of dicks!
As punishment, Fran mailed a 300 pack of “bag of dicks” gifts to Damon at One Ball Court.
None of us can figure out why Damon moved his family to a court shaped like a uni-testical hanging from a really long cock. Guess he wants a lifetime supply of those bags of dicks!
by No Tango and no Cash September 17, 2023
When cousins make up shit about a fictional family Wiffle Ball game where the Lord of K’s, the oldest cousin, the master of gong clang, the ultimate curve wizard, the downward draft doink,…somehow gives up a dinger on the Ocean City beach, to a cousin that has always been only aloud to fetch foul balls and other errant balls in the dunes.
It never happened. It’s fucking family fiction.
It never happened. It’s fucking family fiction.
“Fucking Damon and Fran keep spewing Wiffle fiction about an imaginary game in Ocean City in like 2007….when The Maestro of Crooked Slurves was at his peak performance and a potential selection for the US Olympic Wiffle Ball Team. Steve did not stick a wicked Whammy over the wall and was surely sat down by a gonk of the gong sitting in the beach chair.
Knock this shit off- stop dreaming- show the damn tapes if this happened or get your assess to the beach to run a little reenactment of the alledged story - 14 years ago.
Complete Horse-shit!”
Knock this shit off- stop dreaming- show the damn tapes if this happened or get your assess to the beach to run a little reenactment of the alledged story - 14 years ago.
Complete Horse-shit!”
by No Tango and no Cash January 25, 2024
That guy that always brags about his shit. He always has the best, the only, the original, and the thing nobody else could have.
There is no way to impress Top Tier Travis and youshouldn’t even try because you will have to endure 1000 texts about his greatness with complete denial of any of his weaknesses.
He does have a nice wife, but she always travels without him. She seems to wear the pants in Top Tier Travis’s house. He would never admit it though!
There is no way to impress Top Tier Travis and youshouldn’t even try because you will have to endure 1000 texts about his greatness with complete denial of any of his weaknesses.
He does have a nice wife, but she always travels without him. She seems to wear the pants in Top Tier Travis’s house. He would never admit it though!
OMG, Top Tier Travis just started a company and he is texting that his ideas were first, he copyrighted them, and every company wants his services. I looked on Yelp and he received 20 reviews all saying “what and asshole” but they had fun on - business trip with his wife last week when she gave them TTT’s referral.
by No Tango and no Cash September 17, 2023
When your company says they fought hard for a raise - but knew there wasn’t enough money in the budget and a reduction in pay was coming.
So you get a raise for the last 3 months of one fiscal year and then they pull it back as the new fiscal year starts…then initiate a cut in pay, essentially wiping out your pay raise and even making you poorer.
So you get a raise for the last 3 months of one fiscal year and then they pull it back as the new fiscal year starts…then initiate a cut in pay, essentially wiping out your pay raise and even making you poorer.
Person 1: Hey, did you see we are getting a TSA Pay Raise this year?
Person 2: Yea, here comes 3 months of pay at the rate we deserve and then a fiscal year take back followed by a reduction in pay.
Person 1: There goes my morale. I think I’m going to try being a truck driver.
Person 2: Yea, here comes 3 months of pay at the rate we deserve and then a fiscal year take back followed by a reduction in pay.
Person 1: There goes my morale. I think I’m going to try being a truck driver.
by No Tango and no Cash September 14, 2023
When cousins are all at the beach surfing, and one has a totally hairy chest while the others are all baby-seal-slick, that hairy cousin has Francis Fur.
Francis Fur grows like a genetic mutation, and can not be easily shaved. Razors clog and break so tree trimmers are needed. Francis Fur creates enough static electricity on a dry winter day to power a house for a week.
Francis Fur has a Velcro effect and must be covered by a cotton shirt, preferably one with a 4 leaf Irish clover logo on it, in order to prevent static cling to any item.
Francis Fur grows like a genetic mutation, and can not be easily shaved. Razors clog and break so tree trimmers are needed. Francis Fur creates enough static electricity on a dry winter day to power a house for a week.
Francis Fur has a Velcro effect and must be covered by a cotton shirt, preferably one with a 4 leaf Irish clover logo on it, in order to prevent static cling to any item.
During a family get together, Uncle Kurt told everyone a surfing story:
“Wow, when cousin Steve, went surfing with cousin Damon, they were riding a wave and really carving the tube. All of a sudden, both boards got magically stuck in the water and they both flew off into the rotor.”
“When they cam up, both boards were stuck to cousin Fran, who had been body surfing in the path. Apparently, his Francis Fur velcroed the boards because he didn’t have his t-shirt on.”
“Luckily, neither Steve nor Damon were injured when the boards were ripped out from under them.”
“Wow, when cousin Steve, went surfing with cousin Damon, they were riding a wave and really carving the tube. All of a sudden, both boards got magically stuck in the water and they both flew off into the rotor.”
“When they cam up, both boards were stuck to cousin Fran, who had been body surfing in the path. Apparently, his Francis Fur velcroed the boards because he didn’t have his t-shirt on.”
“Luckily, neither Steve nor Damon were injured when the boards were ripped out from under them.”
by No Tango and no Cash September 29, 2023