Nigel Fleming's definitions

Musical Shags.

Similar to the kids favourite, musical chairs, only a man will lie on the floor and try to maintain wood. Ladies will then dance over him in a circle wearing no underwear. When the music stops the lady who is on over the man at that time will squat down and shag him for a certain amount of time until the music starts again and the ladies dance once more.

Rupert: Hey, how was your birthday party the other night, did you get up to anything exciting?
Nigel: I had a fantastic night, me and the ladies enjoyed a game of musical shags.I shot my load about ten times!

by Nigel Fleming May 1, 2007

paula radcliffe

Noun: To do a paula radcliffe. The act of not bothering to make much of an effort to win something, unless there is a financial gain to be made. This applies especially when representing your country for nothing when you cannot be arsed compared to winning marathons by a mile where huge sums of cash are involved.

Neil: God I cannot wait to see the rowers at the next Olympic Games.
Nigel: Me too lets just hope they don't do a paula radcliffe on us and save themselves for the Henley Royal Regatta!

by Nigel Fleming August 5, 2006

do a radcliffe

Noun: To squat down, completely out of the blue, to the shock and disgust of everybody, and proceed to piss everywhere without a care in the world.

Sonya: Fucking hell I'm completely pissed after those beers, I'm just gonna pop over there and do a radcliffe.
Noreen: You fucking dirty bitch, where's your self respect?
Sonya: Ha, that was left in my mothers womb along with my brains when they pulled my sorry arse out!

by Nigel Fleming August 5, 2006

tuppeny whore

A lady of the night who will perform any sordid act for the meagre price of a tuppeny bit( Old British coin). These women roamed the streets around the start of the 20th century, waiting for men to cross their filthy palms with the modern day equivalent of the price of a cup of coffee. Very skanky ladies indeed.

I say Humphry, have you any plans this evening?
Why no Henry, shall we partake of a tuppeny whore a piece, then retire to our wives?

by Nigel Fleming July 19, 2006

rag monster

An annoying female who gives the impression that she is always on her period. They stomp around tutting all day, have mood swings constantly and will snap and cry at the slightest provocation. If you think you are currently seeing one of these ladies, get rid!

Neil: I can't take it anymore, she's doing my head in all the time, everyday.
Nigel: I warned you there'd be trouble with her, she's one of the biggest rag monsters I've had the misfortune of ever meeting!

by Nigel Fleming July 18, 2006

rouse

A Northerners term for a rodent that has the appearance of a mouse from the front, but the long tail of a rat, hence rouse. Seldom seen before nightfall, these shy beasts feed on scraps of waste from Kebab shops and pizza parlours.

I saw what looked like a cross between a mouse and a rat outside that kebab shop last night, I think it was a rouse, bastard thing!

by Nigel Fleming July 15, 2006

stubborn turd

An especially annoying piece of faecal matter that will try its damndest to stay in your anus, as if clinging on to life itself. Blood vesels may be burst trying to shift one of these bastards, be careful!

Oh my God, half an hour it took me to drop that stubborn turd from my arse, but boy was it worth the wait!

by Nigel Fleming July 13, 2006