albino turd

A white or cream coloured turd. Often dismissed as an urban legend, I assure you, these gems do exist. Very rare and the source of much amusement to all who see one, they usually make themselves apparant in the work place or at school.
I could have laughed myself silly seeing that albino turd in the school toilets, what a sight!
by Nigel Fleming July 13, 2006
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do a radcliffe

Noun: To squat down, completely out of the blue, to the shock and disgust of everybody, and proceed to piss everywhere without a care in the world.
Sonya: Fucking hell I'm completely pissed after those beers, I'm just gonna pop over there and do a radcliffe.
Noreen: You fucking dirty bitch, where's your self respect?
Sonya: Ha, that was left in my mothers womb along with my brains when they pulled my sorry arse out!
by Nigel Fleming August 05, 2006
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skundered

The Irish version of bored. Used by hill billy locals in back street, one pony towns to try to sound intelligent.
Heh, Seamus, did you get up to anything intersting last night?
Nah, I was so skundered I ended up reading the Dictionary.
by Nigel Fleming July 13, 2006
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frustrated wank

The act of masterbating after not having had sex with your partner, but not just anywhere, no, this is done in the same bed as your other half! One must be as quiet as possible so as not to wake up your partner and being caught can results in serious consequences ranging from repulsion to rejection, as I have found out to my cost!
Heh, Nigel, did you get any action last night from your lady?
No chance, that frigid bitch wasn't giving out at all, I had a frustrated wank instead and to be honest, I enjoyed it more than sex!
by Nigel Fleming July 13, 2006
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dead egg

A particularlt revolting smell expelled from your anus that has the aroma of a rotten, dying egg.
Oh my God, can you smell that? Some bastard has just dropped a dead egg!
by Nigel Fleming July 06, 2006
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abort a turd

The act of expelling a shit early, before it is naturally ready to be given birth to. Such an act results in excrutiating pain and usually an increase in blood pressure, rather than the euphoric sensation experienced when dropping a turd as nature planned.
Christ on a bike, that curry last night was so hot I had to abort a turd, it absolutely killed!
by Nigel Fleming July 09, 2006
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stubborn turd

An especially annoying piece of faecal matter that will try its damndest to stay in your anus, as if clinging on to life itself. Blood vesels may be burst trying to shift one of these bastards, be careful!
Oh my God, half an hour it took me to drop that stubborn turd from my arse, but boy was it worth the wait!
by Nigel Fleming July 13, 2006
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