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Why?
by Nick D February 8, 2003
Get the da fuck mug.The ultimate easy major in college. Getting anything lower than a 'A' in any class requires serious effort.
Professor: "Johnny, we need to talk about your coursework this semester in my Advanced International Relations 338 class."
Johnny: "Yeah, what of it, shithead?"
Professor: "Well, for your first paper, you simply wrote 'Fuck you, Professor Cockgobbler' and drew a cartoon which appeared to be me giving a...um...blow job...um...to a buffalo. For your second paper, you submitted an actual photo of you having anal intercourse with my 15-year-old daughter. On the final exam, you wrote 'I am going to brutally murder your entire extended family, seriously.' in dog shit. Then you did in fact murder them all."
Johnny: "So what?"
Professor: "This type of disrespect will absolutely not be tolerated in my class. I'm going to have to punish you by lowering your grade to an A-minus."
Johnny: "NO!!!! That's going to lower my GPA so much!"
Professor: "Well, given that you have committed such atrocities in addition to your complete lack of ambition as well as academic ability, I'd say you deserve no better than a 3.98."
Johnny: "WHAT??? How could you say such a thing? You'd have to be a severely retarded quadriplegic to get a GPA that terrible!"
Johnny: "Yeah, what of it, shithead?"
Professor: "Well, for your first paper, you simply wrote 'Fuck you, Professor Cockgobbler' and drew a cartoon which appeared to be me giving a...um...blow job...um...to a buffalo. For your second paper, you submitted an actual photo of you having anal intercourse with my 15-year-old daughter. On the final exam, you wrote 'I am going to brutally murder your entire extended family, seriously.' in dog shit. Then you did in fact murder them all."
Johnny: "So what?"
Professor: "This type of disrespect will absolutely not be tolerated in my class. I'm going to have to punish you by lowering your grade to an A-minus."
Johnny: "NO!!!! That's going to lower my GPA so much!"
Professor: "Well, given that you have committed such atrocities in addition to your complete lack of ambition as well as academic ability, I'd say you deserve no better than a 3.98."
Johnny: "WHAT??? How could you say such a thing? You'd have to be a severely retarded quadriplegic to get a GPA that terrible!"
by Nick D February 7, 2006
Get the International Relations mug.Phil: "What a rockin' club! Time to get my groove on!"
Matt: "Uh...I don't know man...there seems to be a substantial abundance of weiner in this joint."
Phil: "Whatever, I'm gonna go dance with that HOT girl over there!"
Matt: "No no wait dude, that's a..."
(Phil goes over to the "girl")
Phil: "You must be from Tennessee because there's a mirror in your pocket."
'Girl' (deep voice): "Just come here bitch!"
Phil: "Hey baby that cell phone in your pocket keeps jabbing me...let me fix that for you...wait a minute...what the...OH SHIT!!!" (runs away)
Matt (laughs hysterically)
Phil: "Damn, come to think of it, it was a little suspicious with all those effeminate guys dancing to the Village People in leather jackets."
Matt: "You grabbed a transvestite's dick, man."
Matt: "Uh...I don't know man...there seems to be a substantial abundance of weiner in this joint."
Phil: "Whatever, I'm gonna go dance with that HOT girl over there!"
Matt: "No no wait dude, that's a..."
(Phil goes over to the "girl")
Phil: "You must be from Tennessee because there's a mirror in your pocket."
'Girl' (deep voice): "Just come here bitch!"
Phil: "Hey baby that cell phone in your pocket keeps jabbing me...let me fix that for you...wait a minute...what the...OH SHIT!!!" (runs away)
Matt (laughs hysterically)
Phil: "Damn, come to think of it, it was a little suspicious with all those effeminate guys dancing to the Village People in leather jackets."
Matt: "You grabbed a transvestite's dick, man."
by Nick D February 18, 2005
Get the substantial abundance of wiener mug.Bob set up on the second floor balcony with his keg bucket waiting for Eric to come back from class, but he accidentally mistook a dog for Eric and dumped his load too early. Meanwhile Eric snuck up to the third floor and douched Bob from above. What a glug.
by Nick D March 10, 2005
Get the glug mug.To fall in love with someone at an inappropriate time or mistake a repeated hookup for a serious relationship.
"The instant they start to catch feelings
I start to stealin they shit
Then I'm out just like a thief in the night
I sink my teeth in to bite
You thinkin life, I'm thinkin more like - whassup tonight?"
-DMX "What They Want"
I start to stealin they shit
Then I'm out just like a thief in the night
I sink my teeth in to bite
You thinkin life, I'm thinkin more like - whassup tonight?"
-DMX "What They Want"
by Nick D January 9, 2004
Get the catch feelings mug.Jeff can run a mile in 4 1/2 minutes. Kevin always gets really mad and beats the shit out of people. Together, I'd probably consider them to be the fast and the furious.
by Nick D October 15, 2003
Get the the fast and the furious mug.Megan: "How are you and Hillary doing?"
Chad: "Last night I told her I wanted to beat it up, but then she freaked out and bounced for some reason. She probably was just afraid that I might knock her up if I chucked my junk in her. She was bitching and shit but I didn't really hear what she said because I wasn't listening."
Megan: "Wow, you're such a sensitive guy. I can't imagine why she left you."
Chad: "Last night I told her I wanted to beat it up, but then she freaked out and bounced for some reason. She probably was just afraid that I might knock her up if I chucked my junk in her. She was bitching and shit but I didn't really hear what she said because I wasn't listening."
Megan: "Wow, you're such a sensitive guy. I can't imagine why she left you."
by Nick D July 5, 2004
Get the chuck your junk in her mug.