A phrase that signifies that a person's prior remark could have been interpreted sexually while also insulting the (presumably male) speaker. Means that no woman would ever say such a thing about that person because it would be blatantly untrue. If the target of the comment is female, the related saying that's what he didn't say should be used.
Tim: "Hey man, check out big-ass bag of weed I scored from Sampson. Let's blaze this shit up."
Dave: "Wow, I've never seen one that big!"
Tim: "That's what she didn't say!"
Dave: "Ah, you got me there. I guess everyone knows I have a 3-inch penis."
Tim: "Well, I was just joking, but they do now!"
Dave: "Wow, I've never seen one that big!"
Tim: "That's what she didn't say!"
Dave: "Ah, you got me there. I guess everyone knows I have a 3-inch penis."
Tim: "Well, I was just joking, but they do now!"
by Nicholas D December 18, 2012
Short for investment banking, an industry devoted to squeezing money out of transactions, famous for paying a metric shitload, being filled with douchebags, and doing absolutely nothing for the benefit of society. It is amazing that anyone actually ends up in this industry, as you have to be very smart to get such a job, but very stupid to take it.
Common characteristics are:
1) 80-100+ hour weeks, rarely even a weekend day off. Although it pays a lot in absolute terms, if you consider it on a per-hour basis (including overtime pay), it's not too far above minimum wage.
2) Meaningless, tedious, mind-numbing work.
3) A constant false sense of urgency on all projects.
4) Bonuses almost as big and sometimes bigger than base salaries, that is if you survive until bonus time.
5) Ranking everyone in the firm on the scale {Analyst, Associate, Vice President, Director/Executive Director, Managing Director, and so on}, often even HR, secretaries, and sanitation workers. Contradictorily, an "Analyst" in HR doesn't analyze anything, and a "Vice President" really isn't very important or high up at all.
6) Consistently recruits top college graduates into voluntary sweatshop-like slave labor camps called "Analyst programs."
Common characteristics are:
1) 80-100+ hour weeks, rarely even a weekend day off. Although it pays a lot in absolute terms, if you consider it on a per-hour basis (including overtime pay), it's not too far above minimum wage.
2) Meaningless, tedious, mind-numbing work.
3) A constant false sense of urgency on all projects.
4) Bonuses almost as big and sometimes bigger than base salaries, that is if you survive until bonus time.
5) Ranking everyone in the firm on the scale {Analyst, Associate, Vice President, Director/Executive Director, Managing Director, and so on}, often even HR, secretaries, and sanitation workers. Contradictorily, an "Analyst" in HR doesn't analyze anything, and a "Vice President" really isn't very important or high up at all.
6) Consistently recruits top college graduates into voluntary sweatshop-like slave labor camps called "Analyst programs."
Vice President #1: "SHIT!!! I'm going to have to spend all weekend getting this investor request done!!!"
Vice President #2: "Calm down man, it's not due back to them til the end of next week!"
VP #1: "NO, it needs to be done NOW!!! Where are all those analysts we hired? One of them can do the mindless bitch work."
VP #2: "Um, one committed suicide, two ended up in the mental ward, and another drowned in the huge pool of bullshit."
VP #1: "DAMN IT!!! We need to hire a new one. How about that janitor analyst Joe?"
VP #2: "Um...I guess so..."
VP #1: "Hey Joe, do you want a job as a corporate finance I-banking analyst here at Goldman Sachs? We'll pay you $60,000 base and you'll probably get $60,000 more in bonus. All we need from you is to give up every waking hour of your life, your health, and your soul."
Joe: "No thanks, I'd rather unclog toilets. Besides, I already make $8 an hour - I don't want to take a pay cut."
VP #1: "OH SHIT!!! WE'RE SO SCREWED!!! This needs to get done NOW!!!"
VP #2: "Whatever man, just make Nick D do it."
Vice President #2: "Calm down man, it's not due back to them til the end of next week!"
VP #1: "NO, it needs to be done NOW!!! Where are all those analysts we hired? One of them can do the mindless bitch work."
VP #2: "Um, one committed suicide, two ended up in the mental ward, and another drowned in the huge pool of bullshit."
VP #1: "DAMN IT!!! We need to hire a new one. How about that janitor analyst Joe?"
VP #2: "Um...I guess so..."
VP #1: "Hey Joe, do you want a job as a corporate finance I-banking analyst here at Goldman Sachs? We'll pay you $60,000 base and you'll probably get $60,000 more in bonus. All we need from you is to give up every waking hour of your life, your health, and your soul."
Joe: "No thanks, I'd rather unclog toilets. Besides, I already make $8 an hour - I don't want to take a pay cut."
VP #1: "OH SHIT!!! WE'RE SO SCREWED!!! This needs to get done NOW!!!"
VP #2: "Whatever man, just make Nick D do it."
by Nicholas D May 07, 2007
Short for avatar, i.e. a computer representation of a person. Cannot be used as a short form for the movie "Avatar."
Lloyd: "Dude, stop making your av crouch over my av's corpse like he's taking a dump on it. That move's getting old."
Harry: "Sorry, not happening. Cleveland steamer comin' right up!"
Lloyd: "Hey man, have you seen 'Av' yet?"
Harry: "What the hell is 'Av'? 'Avenue Q'? Avril Lavigne? 'Alien vs. Predator'?"
Lloyd: "No, 'Avatar' obviously."
Harry: "Sorry dude, as an officer of the grammar police I'm going to have to cite you on that illegal abbreviation. You can pay me the $100 fine anytime."
Lloyd: "What? I don't owe you..."
Harry: (pulls out gun) "Break yo self, fool!"
Harry: "Sorry, not happening. Cleveland steamer comin' right up!"
Lloyd: "Hey man, have you seen 'Av' yet?"
Harry: "What the hell is 'Av'? 'Avenue Q'? Avril Lavigne? 'Alien vs. Predator'?"
Lloyd: "No, 'Avatar' obviously."
Harry: "Sorry dude, as an officer of the grammar police I'm going to have to cite you on that illegal abbreviation. You can pay me the $100 fine anytime."
Lloyd: "What? I don't owe you..."
Harry: (pulls out gun) "Break yo self, fool!"
by Nicholas D September 10, 2011
A taunting phrase insinuating that a person has no choice but to accept an unfortunate fact. Similar to deal with it, suck it, or in your face. Usually used to add emphasis to an instance when one intends for the other person to get served.
Ryan: "Sup gangsta."
Steve: "Not too much, chief. Say, I have a little tidbit of news that might interest you."
Ryan: "What is it?"
Steve: "Well, last night, I banged your mom."
Ryan: "Oh yeah? Well my mom's a total slut, so eat that! She's such a slut that when someone yells 'hoedown' she jumps on the floor! Yeah, in your face!"
Steve: "Telling a jo mama joke about your own mom does not in any way redeem you, nor does it change the fact that I porked her. I believe you got served."
Steve: "Not too much, chief. Say, I have a little tidbit of news that might interest you."
Ryan: "What is it?"
Steve: "Well, last night, I banged your mom."
Ryan: "Oh yeah? Well my mom's a total slut, so eat that! She's such a slut that when someone yells 'hoedown' she jumps on the floor! Yeah, in your face!"
Steve: "Telling a jo mama joke about your own mom does not in any way redeem you, nor does it change the fact that I porked her. I believe you got served."
by Nicholas D December 27, 2011
Kyle: "Hey Brian, do you want to go outside and make targets out of cow manure and shoot our rifles at them?"
Brian: "No, I think I'm just gonna hang out here with Mike and Phil and fire at the feces."
Brian: "No, I think I'm just gonna hang out here with Mike and Phil and fire at the feces."
by Nicholas D January 19, 2008
A common mishearing of Shippensburg, PA since it sounds almost identical. Often used to disparage the town or the university named after it.
Guy: "...and I earned my BA from Shippensburg University in 2003."
Bro: "Don't you mean SHITMANSBURG? Pffft what a joke. I did my studies in the hallowed halls of Millersville University you clown."
Bro: "Don't you mean SHITMANSBURG? Pffft what a joke. I did my studies in the hallowed halls of Millersville University you clown."
by Nicholas D December 13, 2021
To give you a tryout or try to figure out what it's all about. A more civilized form of what a dog does when it...uh...sniffs your ass.
Bill: "Ooh...looks like Peter messed up on his TPS reports again. We may need to fire him."
Bob: "Peter's a bright kid, I like his style. Let's send him out to the Boston office and let those guys sniff his ass for a couple of weeks. If they don't like what they see, then we'll can the bastard."
Stan: "Peter, why don't you come out to Boston and let us sniff your ass for a little bit? Not trying to scare you, but Bill would like us to evaluate your performance."
Peter: "Man, you guys are such a bunch of brown-nosers."
Bob: "Peter's a bright kid, I like his style. Let's send him out to the Boston office and let those guys sniff his ass for a couple of weeks. If they don't like what they see, then we'll can the bastard."
Stan: "Peter, why don't you come out to Boston and let us sniff your ass for a little bit? Not trying to scare you, but Bill would like us to evaluate your performance."
Peter: "Man, you guys are such a bunch of brown-nosers."
by Nicholas D November 28, 2007