sheddery

The knowledge acquired when a gentleman has spent possibly a little too much time in his shed or in the study of the sheds of others . Intimate technical detail has been gleaned in regards to every aspect of a shed and the delights it can afford a chap .

Colin knew his onions regarding garden outbuildings . A little too well in fact .
Colin comes from the darker side of sheddery

by Napoleon BonerPart February 24, 2023

give us a shoogle

Scottish request made usually by an optimistic male , requesting to have a feel of a female’s breasticles

( often , but not always , denied )

Gie’s a shoogle of yer mammary duke-Elliot’s , darlin

Give us a shoogle

by Napoleon BonerPart February 17, 2023

Calfs Nostril

A particularly wet and drippy ladies front bottom , usually bereft of pubes, that is in a state of expectant imminent receipt of a tumescent male seeding tube .

A fanny like a calf’s nostril

See that sister of hers over there , well her muff was like a calfs nostril for me last weekend so I pumped her full of man fat

by Napoleon BonerPart February 03, 2023

mouse in a telescope

A tampon , prior to its normal use .

Do me a favour Sweetheart , dive into my handbag and bring me a mouse in a telescope , there’s a handful of them in there .
I thought I only needed a piss , but the monkeys nose is bleeding

by Napoleon BonerPart February 04, 2023

how sooty feels

Descriptive expression used to highlight the sensations experienced during a medical rectal examination

Dr: Are you ok Sir ?

Me : Am I fuck OK , now I know how Sooty feels

by Napoleon BonerPart February 04, 2023

Gary glitter faux pas

The unfortunate act of passing comment on the antics of a child or children , which leads to others in one’s company suspecting you of somewhat inappropriate behaviour towards minors

I can’t wait to get me shoes off and join in with the kiddies on that bouncy castle ….

Oh fuck , I’ve just committed a rather embarrassing Gary Glitter Faux Pas haven’t I .

Sorry everyone , I’ll get my coat

by Napoleon BonerPart February 23, 2023

young pig with its ears pinned back

A method of describing a substantial, yet flaccid male uncircumcised member

he was asleep so I took the chance to have a look at his cock , and holy Christ , it’s like a young pig with its ears pinned back

by Napoleon BonerPart February 03, 2023