fartingflapper

The FartingFlapper . Particularly applicable to long dangly pissflaps of a well used ladies front bottom. Cuntlips like rashers of bacon.

Monstrous beef curtains .

Dave , that woman’s labia was weird . I grabbed both sides of her fartingflapper and pulled her on like an old welly boot

by Napoleon BonerPart February 22, 2023

sheddery

The knowledge acquired when a gentleman has spent possibly a little too much time in his shed or in the study of the sheds of others . Intimate technical detail has been gleaned in regards to every aspect of a shed and the delights it can afford a chap .

Colin knew his onions regarding garden outbuildings . A little too well in fact .
Colin comes from the darker side of sheddery

by Napoleon BonerPart February 24, 2023

Calfs Nostril

A particularly wet and drippy ladies front bottom , usually bereft of pubes, that is in a state of expectant imminent receipt of a tumescent male seeding tube .

A fanny like a calf’s nostril

See that sister of hers over there , well her muff was like a calfs nostril for me last weekend so I pumped her full of man fat

by Napoleon BonerPart February 03, 2023

Shitkickers waltz

The act of sort of ‘shuffling along’ instead of walking properly. Almost as if your shoes are a bit too big for you . Thus resembling someone slightly tamely advancing a relatively solid turd along the sidewalk with their foot or feet . We’ve all seen such half arsed gaits being displayed , mostly by junkies , pissed-up fuckwitts or indeed those individuals that may have in fact , shat in their own clothes .

Dancing the shitkickers waltz

See that lowlife piece of excrement over there , trying to make his way to Lidl , and dancing the shitkickers waltz ?

by Napoleon BonerPart February 17, 2023

mouse in a telescope

A tampon , prior to its normal use .

Do me a favour Sweetheart , dive into my handbag and bring me a mouse in a telescope , there’s a handful of them in there .
I thought I only needed a piss , but the monkeys nose is bleeding

by Napoleon BonerPart February 04, 2023

snitklinkers

Tagnuts , klinker, dangleberries, snapdarlichs, The irritating hard little nuggets of shite that can result after being left to cook off in the body’s own heat after failing to correctly wipe the anus following a copious but successful sit-down visit

Marjorie had to deal with her elderly father in law after the old cunt fell over in the parlour . He somehow was devoid of suitable trousering and had in addition , become parted from his Y’s She had to then bear witness to a significant quantity of snitklinkers that was fiercely attached to his third eye lashes and would appear to have been so for several weeks

by Napoleon BonerPart February 24, 2023

Dancing with the Queen of New Pitsligo

Courting a particularly dim witted bitch with a horrifically low IQ and virtually zero experience of the world save for what she’s managed to glean from never having left the backwards village of New Pitsligo in Aberdeenshire , Scotland .
A slapper with the cranial processing ability of a fucking rocking horse .

Jesus that girl was virtually brain dead .
It’s like dancing with the queen of new Pitsligo

by Napoleon BonerPart February 22, 2023