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Napoleon BonerPart's definitions

mouse in a telescope

Do me a favour Sweetheart , dive into my handbag and bring me a mouse in a telescope , there’s a handful of them in there .
I thought I only needed a piss , but the monkeys nose is bleeding
by Napoleon BonerPart February 4, 2023
mugGet the mouse in a telescopemug.

Calfs Nostril

A particularly wet and drippy ladies front bottom , usually bereft of pubes, that is in a state of expectant imminent receipt of a tumescent male seeding tube .

A fanny like a calf’s nostril
See that sister of hers over there , well her muff was like a calfs nostril for me last weekend so I pumped her full of man fat
by Napoleon BonerPart February 3, 2023
mugGet the Calfs Nostrilmug.

football pool eyes

Descriptive expression used when observing some unfortunate fucker who is so monstrously bosseyed that they have football pools eyes. One home and one away. Can be substituted for Pontoon Eyes, one twists and one sticks, or One on dip , One on full beam .
Did you notice the football pool eyes on that fecker? She doesnt know if its new year or New York , looking thru those fuckers
by Napoleon BonerPart February 6, 2023
mugGet the football pool eyesmug.

PretenderBender

One who fakes homosexuality in order to fit in with a group of genuine queers
See that fucker Monty - ?

He’s a bastard PretenderBender
by Napoleon BonerPart February 17, 2023
mugGet the PretenderBendermug.

give us a shoogle

Scottish request made usually by an optimistic male , requesting to have a feel of a female’s breasticles

( often , but not always , denied )
Gie’s a shoogle of yer mammary duke-Elliot’s , darlin

Give us a shoogle
by Napoleon BonerPart February 17, 2023
mugGet the give us a shooglemug.

floating toldy

North East of Scotland’s poetic word for a turd which refuses to submerge below the water line and will resist virtually every attempt to encourage the bastard to depart these environs .
Agnes , you’ve dropped a fucking floating toldy in here again, I’ve told you to stop eating those Ryvitas, they’re making your jobbys far too bouyant .
by Napoleon BonerPart February 24, 2023
mugGet the floating toldymug.

Mr Flibbertyflobbert

Are you horny Napoleon ?

No, sadly not . I’m at home to Mr Flibbertyflobbert
by Napoleon BonerPart February 22, 2023
mugGet the Mr Flibbertyflobbertmug.

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