Mr. Softey's definitions

calling in gay

Calling in sick to work for a gay reason.

>> Why aren't you getting dressed? Don't you have to leave for work in 20 minutes?
<< I'm thinking of calling in gay so I can catch a matinee of "Benjamin Button".

by Mr. Softey February 4, 2009

Pop Shoppe

A metaphor for anal sex.

"If Janelle has a few more Cosmos, I might be going to the 'ol Pop Shoppe later."

"No honeymoon is complete without a trip to the Pop Shoppe."

"It's my birthday and I pray to god the Pop Shoppe is open tonight!"

by Mr. Softey January 23, 2009

Beeftown

A room that is awash with a lingering, beefy aroma that is usually associated with the massive ingestion of meat products and the flatulence produced by them.

"Let's try to stay upwind of Beeftown until the fog clears."

"The mayor of Beeftown shits on a throne of lies."

"Welcome to Beeftown, population: you."

"Mauro and his family are summering in Beeftown and they're having quite a lovely time."

by Mr. Softey January 23, 2009

Johnny Redchips

A card player who has amassed a large collection of, mostly red poker chips. Since reds are the lowest valued chip, it makes you look like you have a lot of money when you really don't.

"Another massive three dollar pot taken down by Johnny Redchips!"

"Can anybody break a five? Johnny Redchips is cashing out."

"You see my dollar and raise me a quarter? Why, that's too rich for my blood, Johnny Redchips!"

by Mr. Softey January 23, 2009

Wake Up Ball

Interrupting a loved one's slumber with the sudden placement of one's testicles into their mouth.

A combination of the teabag with the alarm cock method.

"There's nothing quite like a saggy-scrotumed Wake Up Ball to start the day off right!"

"Here's your 2am Wake Up Ball, you nut-gargling whore!"

"Got any tic tacs? This morning's Wake Up Ball wasn't exactly minty fresh."

by Mr. Softey January 23, 2009