Mr. Softey's definitions

Ballcockery

An act of sexual mischief. Up to no good in a naughty fashion.

"I thought Marcus was me best mate, but he was up to all manner of ballcockery with me wife."

"Methinks Ted and Alice are engaged in acts of wanton ballcockery."

"Wouldst thou join me in a bit of ballcockery, love?"

by Mr. Softey January 23, 2009

calling in gay

Calling in sick to work for a gay reason.

>> Why aren't you getting dressed? Don't you have to leave for work in 20 minutes?
<< I'm thinking of calling in gay so I can catch a matinee of "Benjamin Button".

by Mr. Softey February 4, 2009

spankathon

A marathon masturbation session.

Tonight's spankathon is brought to you in part by the makers of KY, and the good people at Barely Legal. With funding in part by the Kleenex corporation.

by Mr. Softey February 4, 2009

Johnny Redchips

A card player who has amassed a large collection of, mostly red poker chips. Since reds are the lowest valued chip, it makes you look like you have a lot of money when you really don't.

"Another massive three dollar pot taken down by Johnny Redchips!"

"Can anybody break a five? Johnny Redchips is cashing out."

"You see my dollar and raise me a quarter? Why, that's too rich for my blood, Johnny Redchips!"

by Mr. Softey January 23, 2009

Wake Up Ball

Interrupting a loved one's slumber with the sudden placement of one's testicles into their mouth.

A combination of the teabag with the alarm cock method.

"There's nothing quite like a saggy-scrotumed Wake Up Ball to start the day off right!"

"Here's your 2am Wake Up Ball, you nut-gargling whore!"

"Got any tic tacs? This morning's Wake Up Ball wasn't exactly minty fresh."

by Mr. Softey January 23, 2009