Mr. Softey's definitions

Johnny Redchips

A card player who has amassed a large collection of, mostly red poker chips. Since reds are the lowest valued chip, it makes you look like you have a lot of money when you really don't.

"Another massive three dollar pot taken down by Johnny Redchips!"

"Can anybody break a five? Johnny Redchips is cashing out."

"You see my dollar and raise me a quarter? Why, that's too rich for my blood, Johnny Redchips!"

by Mr. Softey January 23, 2009

Wake Up Ball

Interrupting a loved one's slumber with the sudden placement of one's testicles into their mouth.

A combination of the teabag with the alarm cock method.

"There's nothing quite like a saggy-scrotumed Wake Up Ball to start the day off right!"

"Here's your 2am Wake Up Ball, you nut-gargling whore!"

"Got any tic tacs? This morning's Wake Up Ball wasn't exactly minty fresh."

by Mr. Softey January 23, 2009

Fruitastic

Something that is positive and yet gay at the same time.

Gaylord: "Did you hear they legalized gay marriage in California?"
Armande: "Good for them, that's fruitastic!"
Gaylord: "Not to change the subject, but what do you think of the paisley ascot I'm wearing."
Armande: "That too, is fruitastic."

by Mr. Softey January 26, 2009

calling in gay

Calling in sick to work for a gay reason.

>> Why aren't you getting dressed? Don't you have to leave for work in 20 minutes?
<< I'm thinking of calling in gay so I can catch a matinee of "Benjamin Button".

by Mr. Softey February 4, 2009

Biscuit Train

The opposite of a gravy train job where you do nothing all day, a biscuit train usually requires full effort.

"I'm gettin' too old to be riding this biscuit train everyday!"

I'm dead tired from riding the biscuit train all day.

"Suck it up boys! We're on a biscuit train with gravy wheels!"

by Mr. Softey January 23, 2009