Mr. Softey's definitions

Cincinnati Pad Thai

When you reverse tit fuck an Asian girl, same as a Cincinnati Bowtie, but with an Asian slant to it, if you will.

How about we head to my place for drinks and a little Cincinnati Pad Thai?
>>Me love you long time, Joe!

by Mr. Softey January 28, 2009

spankathon

A marathon masturbation session.

Tonight's spankathon is brought to you in part by the makers of KY, and the good people at Barely Legal. With funding in part by the Kleenex corporation.

by Mr. Softey February 4, 2009

calling in gay

Calling in sick to work for a gay reason.

>> Why aren't you getting dressed? Don't you have to leave for work in 20 minutes?
<< I'm thinking of calling in gay so I can catch a matinee of "Benjamin Button".

by Mr. Softey February 4, 2009

Wake Up Ball

Interrupting a loved one's slumber with the sudden placement of one's testicles into their mouth.

A combination of the teabag with the alarm cock method.

"There's nothing quite like a saggy-scrotumed Wake Up Ball to start the day off right!"

"Here's your 2am Wake Up Ball, you nut-gargling whore!"

"Got any tic tacs? This morning's Wake Up Ball wasn't exactly minty fresh."

by Mr. Softey January 23, 2009

Pop Shoppe

A metaphor for anal sex.

"If Janelle has a few more Cosmos, I might be going to the 'ol Pop Shoppe later."

"No honeymoon is complete without a trip to the Pop Shoppe."

"It's my birthday and I pray to god the Pop Shoppe is open tonight!"

by Mr. Softey January 23, 2009