Mr. Softey's definitions

Hairy Plotter

One who is planning to shave or trim their pubic hair.

Josh: I'm thinking of waxing off the magic wand.
Buck: It's about time Hairy Plotter!
Josh: Silence "He who must not be wanged"!
Buck: Say what now?

by Mr. Softey January 30, 2009

tissue issues

The perplexing conundrums that arise from leaving evidence of a recent masturbation session laying about.

Conrad: Holy crap! We've got to go back to the apartment before Pam wakes up, I forgot I left a bunch of used kleenex by the computer!
Farnsworth: Hey, your tissue issues aren't going to make me late to work, Sgt. Spank-o-tron!

by Mr. Softey February 4, 2009

MILF money

Disposable Visa gift cards used for the sole purpose of buying porn on the internet and not having Cornhole.com show up on your credit card statement.

<< Hey dude, you accidentally threw away your credit card.
>> Don't sweat it bro, that's just some used up MILF money!

by Mr. Softey February 4, 2009

spankathon

A marathon masturbation session.

Tonight's spankathon is brought to you in part by the makers of KY, and the good people at Barely Legal. With funding in part by the Kleenex corporation.

by Mr. Softey February 4, 2009

calling in gay

Calling in sick to work for a gay reason.

>> Why aren't you getting dressed? Don't you have to leave for work in 20 minutes?
<< I'm thinking of calling in gay so I can catch a matinee of "Benjamin Button".

by Mr. Softey February 4, 2009