"I thought Marcus was me best mate, but he was up to all manner of ballcockery with me wife."
"Methinks Ted and Alice are engaged in acts of wanton ballcockery."
"Wouldst thou join me in a bit of ballcockery, love?"
"Methinks Ted and Alice are engaged in acts of wanton ballcockery."
"Wouldst thou join me in a bit of ballcockery, love?"
by Mr. Softey January 23, 2009

Interrupting a loved one's slumber with the sudden placement of one's testicles into their mouth.
A combination of the teabag with the alarm cock method.
A combination of the teabag with the alarm cock method.
"There's nothing quite like a saggy-scrotumed Wake Up Ball to start the day off right!"
"Here's your 2am Wake Up Ball, you nut-gargling whore!"
"Got any tic tacs? This morning's Wake Up Ball wasn't exactly minty fresh."
"Here's your 2am Wake Up Ball, you nut-gargling whore!"
"Got any tic tacs? This morning's Wake Up Ball wasn't exactly minty fresh."
by Mr. Softey January 23, 2009

>> Why aren't you getting dressed? Don't you have to leave for work in 20 minutes?
<< I'm thinking of calling in gay so I can catch a matinee of "Benjamin Button".
<< I'm thinking of calling in gay so I can catch a matinee of "Benjamin Button".
by Mr. Softey February 04, 2009

Tonight's spankathon is brought to you in part by the makers of KY, and the good people at Barely Legal. With funding in part by the Kleenex corporation.
by Mr. Softey February 04, 2009

When you reverse tit fuck an Asian girl, same as a Cincinnati Bowtie, but with an Asian slant to it, if you will.
How about we head to my place for drinks and a little Cincinnati Pad Thai?
>>Me love you long time, Joe!
>>Me love you long time, Joe!
by Mr. Softey January 28, 2009

whore #1: I don't think I can sit down after what that last John did to me!
whore#2: Whatchoo gonna do 'bout it?
whore#1: Child, I'm taking this cornbread and getting me some Tucks.
whore#2: Shee-oot!
whore#2: Whatchoo gonna do 'bout it?
whore#1: Child, I'm taking this cornbread and getting me some Tucks.
whore#2: Shee-oot!
by Mr. Softey January 25, 2009

The perplexing conundrums that arise from leaving evidence of a recent masturbation session laying about.
Conrad: Holy crap! We've got to go back to the apartment before Pam wakes up, I forgot I left a bunch of used kleenex by the computer!
Farnsworth: Hey, your tissue issues aren't going to make me late to work, Sgt. Spank-o-tron!
Farnsworth: Hey, your tissue issues aren't going to make me late to work, Sgt. Spank-o-tron!
by Mr. Softey February 04, 2009
