Mr. Softey's definitions

Butterball Effect

A scientific theory which explains that regularly eating butter, even a small pat, will eventually turn you into a fat butterball.

At the 10 year High School Reunion.....

Gerard: Hey check out Sylvia, she's a total hefer! She used to be hot, what happened?

Chuck: Dude, It's called the Butterball Effect, all those empty fat calories have wreaked their damnable havoc on her once fine physique.

Gerard: Say what now?

by Mr. Softey January 25, 2009

cornbread

Money a prostitute makes from performing anal sex acts, as in getting cornholed.

whore #1: I don't think I can sit down after what that last John did to me!

whore#2: Whatchoo gonna do 'bout it?

whore#1: Child, I'm taking this cornbread and getting me some Tucks.

whore#2: Shee-oot!

by Mr. Softey January 25, 2009

Peach Rain

Filling a plastic spoon with the syrup from canned peaches and launching it on the unsuspecting lunchroom.

Mauro: For the love of God! Mystery meat and peaches again!

Heath: Grab your umbrella, because the forecast calls for the extremely unheralded return of the Peach Rain!

Mauro: Say what now?

Heath: Incoming!

Mauro: God, I love the smell of Peach Rain in the morning!

Heath: True dat!

Mauro: Word to my niggas!

Heath: Say What now?

by Mr. Softey January 25, 2009

Fruitastic

Something that is positive and yet gay at the same time.

Gaylord: "Did you hear they legalized gay marriage in California?"
Armande: "Good for them, that's fruitastic!"
Gaylord: "Not to change the subject, but what do you think of the paisley ascot I'm wearing."
Armande: "That too, is fruitastic."

by Mr. Softey January 26, 2009

circus popcorn

An ungodly brick of pink popcorn that is case hardened and sold to the unknowing masses at the circus, carnival, fair, etc.

When I was a kid I used to love circus popcorn, but now it tastes like shit on a stick!

by Mr. Softey January 26, 2009

Squarenuts

The perpetually unemployed guy at the union hall who never gets off the bench to take a job call.
The endless act of sitting has given him "Squarenuts".

Biff: You'll never guess who I saw at the hall today.
Happy: Not old Squarenuts?
Biff: Yep, has that guy ever worked?
Happy: Hells no.
Biff: Good old Squarenuts.

by Mr. Softey January 28, 2009

Cincinnati Pad Thai

When you reverse tit fuck an Asian girl, same as a Cincinnati Bowtie, but with an Asian slant to it, if you will.

How about we head to my place for drinks and a little Cincinnati Pad Thai?
>>Me love you long time, Joe!

by Mr. Softey January 28, 2009