Definitions by Mr Ben

dufus 

A kindly way of saying that one is stupid. Certainly much nicer than calling someone a fuckwit, anyway.

"You dufus! Click the Print button if you wanna print, not the Close button!"

dufus by Mr Ben February 10, 2005

tourist 

Any individual who displays no regard or knowledge for the unwritten rules of a location or city. Tourists in London, for example, frequently stand on the left hand side of escalators on the tube (a serious no-no), stand directly in front of the train doors with large rucksacks (again, you just don't do this) and take photographs of them halfway out of a telephone box as though they were appearing in a Broadway musical (does anyone do this anywhere at all?).

"What's that? Stand on the right? No, I think I like the left hand side better. Who cares about those other jerks wanting to get by? I'm a tourist, they should wait." - the primary cause of rioting on the London Underground.

tourist by Mr Ben February 10, 2005

cranium attack 

Similar to a heart attack but occurs in the head. Often a short but intensely painful headache which disappears almost as quickly as it arrives. Cause unknown.

"Ah, fuck! I've just had a cranium attack!"

cranium attack by Mr Ben February 10, 2005

liberty

Freedom, the all-too-rare position of being able to think, speak and act indepentently. Not to be confused with equality, something else that should be more prevelant in the world today.

If someone could send this definition to the 43rd President of the USA, I would be grateful. If someone there could read it to him, I'd be even happier.

"We have succeeded in giving liberty to the Iraqi people... well, maybe not quite yet but we're working on it. Yeah."

liberty by Mr Ben February 10, 2005

tombstone teeth 

Usually occuring in older members of society, "Tombstone teeth" is a derogatory term used to describe a mouth consisting mainly of tongue and gums. Maybe, one or two teeth will stand out but no more than that. The ones on the bottom jaw seem more resistent to base-jumping out of the mouth, for some reason. Scientists are looking into this as I speak.

"That old Mrs Webster has some serious tombstone teeth. They're all yellow..."

tombstone teeth by Mr Ben February 10, 2005

head fuck

The feeling you get when an idea or concept is beyond your understanding. Also used to describe the idea or concept that causes head-fucking.

"You know that painting by Dali with the elephant with the giraffe legs? That gives me a serious head fuck, man."

head fuck by Mr Ben February 10, 2005

Horse's arse 

Extremely derogatory term, used to describe a face that is remarkable in it's ugliness.

"Hang on, what's old Horse's arse doing on TV? What, she's marrying Prince Charles?"

Horse's arse by Mr Ben February 10, 2005