revidivism

To return to an appallingly bad movie, after you have done your time and pronounced yourself rehabilitated.
He had come out swearing, "Never again!", but here he was, in lockdown, serving a second stint with "Sharknado 3", an act of tragic revidivism.
by Monkey's Dad March 26, 2020
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Anti-Mask League

An organization of Americans opposed to wearing masks during the 1918 Flu Pandemic, which killed 50 million people.
"The 'Anti-Mask League' protest in San Francisco was an orderly protest compared to people fighting in Walmarts today," said Dr. Howard Markel, a medical historian and a physician who leads the Center for the History of Medicine at the University of Michigan. "Today, the anti-mask sentiment has a virulence and violence of its own that we didn't see back then."
by Monkey's Dad August 16, 2020
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gymgnostic

A state of divine transcendence, reached through exercise.
His endorphins surging, what he saw in the mirror after his daily devotion to the ellipticals, free weights, rowers and treadmills lulled him into a gymgnostic state of belief in his own divinity.
by Monkey's Dad March 06, 2020
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meat loafers

What a devout vegan sees when she spots your leather shoes.
She had fallen for his whole 'I'm so kind to animals' thing. On their first date, happily sharing Impossible Burgers with him, she dropped her fork. At floor level, she saw his feet. "Hypocrite!" she screamed. Are those vegan leather? No! You are wearing meat loafers!" She grabbed her phone, unfriended him, and stalked off. Needing some comfort food, he signaled the waiter for a bacon cheeseburger.
by Monkey's Dad March 06, 2020
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Bi-pass heart surgery

An extreme form of conversion therapy, intended to cure the bi-curious and turn them straight.
Arriving home in Wichita from Princeton for the summer, Amber confided to her devoutly Methodist mother that she was equally in love with her 'friends' Jason and Jennifer. Shocked, and too unworldly to know that this was a transitory phase for many of the girls in Amber's class, her mother whispered the threat of bi-pass heart surgery to make her normal again.
by Monkey's Dad February 28, 2020
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Urban Legend

In the near future, a fantastical story told by parents to children of what the word 'city' meant.
They sat at six-foot intervals to hear their favorite Urban Legend. They knew it was not real, yet it entertained them to imagine people walking the streets, crowding together to eat and drink and listen to music, where 'school' was a building kids went to, together.
by Monkey's Dad March 23, 2020
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toll

A cost in lives.

Damage resulting from an event or practice.

Charge for a service or permission.

The sound of a bell rung at a steady interval.
The tolls from coronavirus will be great, many and enduring, and the bells will toll for the dead.
by Monkey's Dad April 05, 2020
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