Definitions by Monkey's Dad

Call me Phishmail 

The opening line of a disarmingly transparent effort to get your SSN, passwords and credit card number.

Never read Moby Dick? Then call me Phishmail. Impress your friends 'cause absolutely free I'll give you my lightning tutorial on Melville's massive classic. Just click here.

Call me Phishmail by Monkey's Dad January 19, 2020

Naybe

Nay, disguised as Maybe, used when you mean "absolutely not" and don't have the courage to say it.

I told him naybe when he asked me out. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but how much clearer can I make it?

Naybe by Monkey's Dad January 7, 2020

Minotaurectomy 

Procedure to remove a man's bullheaded virility, performed by a female, using a few choice words.

Seeing him snort and paw the ground, while angling his horns in her direction, she was planning tonight's minotaurectomy, which would preferably be non-surgical, but hey.

Minotaurectomy by Monkey's Dad January 5, 2020

backsided compliment 

A signal of mutual attraction, directed to a man by a woman, as she turns away and very subtly angles her hips and derriere.

Knowing his eyes were on her, she turned to give him a fleeting but unmistakable backsided compliment.

backsided compliment by Monkey's Dad January 5, 2020

I'll wait here 

When spoken to a man, by a woman, who is seated comfortably in the front seat of a car, on a rainy day, outside Starbucks, translates into English as: Venti Cappuccino with almond milk and a vanilla bean pastry, please.

I'll wait here.

I'll wait here by Monkey's Dad December 24, 2019

Permababy 

A creature, human or otherwise, who retains the characteristics of an infant, no matter how long they have lived.

Yes, we know she looks like a puppy, but she's thirteen - a Permababy.

Permababy by Monkey's Dad December 23, 2019

Girlie Bird 

A self-consciously hyper-feminized young woman

"The Girlie Bird catches the worm" muttered Tiff to herself, as she put the final touches on her makeup, earrings, hair, stilettos, cleavage and hemline, before heading to the bar.

Girlie Bird by Monkey's Dad November 30, 2019