A phrase often heard as 2020 nears its end and people are forced to acknowledge some very strange things.
To have the family home for Thanksgiving would be suicidal, and I never thought I'd be saying this.

I never thought I'd be saying this, but we came within an inch of losing our democracy.
by Monkey's Dad November 19, 2020
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The Halls of Epidemia

As she logged in to her Tuesday morning creative writing seminar, she looked around at the Halls of Epidemia, which looked almost exactly like her bedroom.
by Monkey's Dad April 06, 2020
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online carbon dating

Googling the person you have just met to try to find their age.
"Ok", she began, "so he like, asked me out, but I mean, when I like, asked if he was like, into "Cheer" he dropped Ted Danson, Kirstie Alley and, like, Shelley Long and I mean like, whose great-grandparents are they??? So I gotta do some online carbon dating first."
by Monkey's Dad October 26, 2020
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CST

Covid Standard Time.

A new Time Zone which took effect in 2020, throwing Easter Standard Time, Pacific Daylight Time and all the rest into a state of irrelevance.
His appointment was Wednesday at 10:15 CST, which meant he might show up on Tuesday or Friday, a week early, two months late, anytime, really, because what is time now? Covid had revealed time as a hoax of some sort, whether perpetrated by the media or the universe he would figure out later, yesterday or never.
by Monkey's Dad July 27, 2022
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Savage Breast

The thing music has charms to soothe, not savage beast, as commonly misquoted, perhaps in an effort to derail the adolescent giggles of boys aged 7 to 70.
From The Mourning Bride, a poem by William Congreve, 1697:

"Musick has Charms to sooth a savage Breast,
To soften Rocks, or bend a knotted Oak."
by Monkey's Dad June 15, 2021
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Hoppandemic

The current social, emotional and psychological isolation, brought about by the pandemic, prefigured by American painter Edward Hopper, many decades before the fact.
How had Hopper foreseen it? Isolated souls, trapped in vacant rooms, staring out windows at the empty American landscape, in the grip of a virtual Hoppandemic.
by Monkey's Dad March 20, 2020
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Prozacco

Prozac with bubbles. Sparkling white wine with miraculous antidepressant properties.
She turned off the news, opened a bottle of Prozacco and felt her spirits effervesce.
by Monkey's Dad March 22, 2020
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