Monkey's Dad's definitions

mented

The positive opposite to the word 'demented'. In full possession of one's mental capacities.

"Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV. Would you like me to repeat the words in random, alphabetical or reverse order? I'll take the aggregate letters of those words and arrange them into a palindrome, after translating them into Chinese, a language I speak better than Xi Ping Jong by the way. Dementia! I'm more fully mented than any man, woman, camera, tv or person on the planet, twice my age, particularly that deranged loser... the Dementiacratic candidate... his name'll come to me...

by Monkey's Dad October 23, 2020

We can breathe

The deep American exhalation, after too long a period in which I can't breathe was true for too many, for so many reasons.

We CAN Breathe, today, November 7, 2020

by Monkey's Dad November 7, 2020

Volksvegan

The ultimate enlightened car.

Her Escalade-driving neighbors had sneered at her Prius as a 'tree-hugger'. She'd go them one better, unloading her cloth bags of tofu, kale and cbd-infused quinoa from the back of her new Volksvegan.

by Monkey's Dad June 20, 2020

no news is the truth

An ambiguous statement, meaning variously that all news is in some measure false, that an absence of received information on a given topic is meaningful, or that there is no greater reality than nothingness; take your pick, add your own.

"Has the jury reached a verdict yet?"
"They've been deliberating for months, and no news is the truth."

by Monkey's Dad July 16, 2023

underlying condition

A Covid-denier's first response to hearing that a person has died from Covid-19. Because they absolutely know that the disease is nothing more than a politicized hoax.

"My friend died from Covid."
"She must have had underlying condition."

by Monkey's Dad September 7, 2020

combatibility

The measure of some couples' suitability for each other while shut in together for months.

The stay-at-home order sounded nice, uninterrupted solitude, a luxury they'd never had. Until the 96th night of lockdown when she mentioned quietly that she thought Bill Gates had engineered this whole thing, he went to sleep on the floor, and they were forced to accept their own combatibility.

by Monkey's Dad April 17, 2020

Covoid

The emptiness in a life, a city, a country, caused by the Covid virus.

So much that had filled their lives was gone for the moment, leaving an enormous Covoid.

by Monkey's Dad March 29, 2020