Monkey's Dad's definitions

entrancegent

Unwilling or unable to move, due to being entranced, usually at the sight of a highly attractive person.

He cannot stop staring at her. My God. She is so incredibly beautiful. He stands frozen at the top of the escalator, people pouring off it right behind him, tripping and falling. He dimly realizes that he is being prodded, cursed and yelled at to MOVE! yet he remains entrancegent.

by Monkey's Dad September 13, 2021

Decimated

Reduced by 1/10th (one-tenth), not, as commonly misused, totally wiped out, destroyed, annihilated.

The rodent population in New York City was decimated, down from ten million to only nine million.

by Monkey's Dad November 9, 2019

Sexclamation point !!!

A gender-revealing punctuation mark! Used frequently, often in multiples and almost exclusively by females!!! (Men, in contrast, end a sentence with a single piece of punctuation, usually a period or question mark.)

The female attraction to this piece of punctuation is probably entirely unconscious. The mark - ! - is a clear pictogram of a woman's 'private parts', a vertical orifice above a circular one.

Using it to end almost any string of words is a statement of the sender's sexuality, conveying a subliminal ; "Look what I possess!!!"!!!!!

The detective suspected that the note - "Back soon! I'm shopping for fancy soap and scented candles!" - with its mystifying sexclamation point !!!, could possibly have been written by a woman.

by Monkey's Dad September 2, 2019

hypoinsomnichondriac

A person who lies awake worrying about all the maladies, disorders and syndromes they may have, present and future.

The messages flooded in at bedtime, from her brother, her cousin - who was a doctor, mind you - studies and statistics forwarded by so many well-intentioned friends, warning of sicknesses which awaited her, if she didn't already have symptoms, which she suddenly realized she probably did have, recommendations for pills, and more pills, changes in diet, which, omg, she vowed to try, promising another sleepless night as a hypoinsomnichondriac.

by Monkey's Dad April 19, 2020

Glass slippers

In "Cinderella", a ridiculous mis-translation from the French. The original story, handed down orally, centered around "Vair" slippers, vair being squirrel fur. But "vair" sounds like "verre", the French word for glass, and so it continued. Fur slippers make perfect sense. But glass??

Cinderella felt sorry for the handsome prince, kneeling before her. She wondered what kind of idiot expected her to take two steps in glass slippers, when the beloved pair she had lost were made of fur. "I mean, glass shoes? Really?"

by Monkey's Dad March 1, 2020

Mozombieque

The geographical root and source of Zombie legends.

Mozombieque is located on the coast of Africa, bordered by Zombia to the northwest and by Zombabwe on the west, all three countries populated by the living dead.

by Monkey's Dad March 12, 2020

it'll wait

The haircut, manicure or new tattoo some feel they can't live without.

It's only hair, and it'll wait.

by Monkey's Dad May 19, 2020