Polites

The Canadian version of Pilates. A system of exercises designed to improve physical strength, flexibility, and manners.

Excuse me there, eh, I'm terribly sorry, didn't mean to rush you so rudely, but I may be just a wee bit late for my Polites class.

by Monkey's Dad February 24, 2020

working like a dog

Sacked out on the sofa all day.

"Man, I've been working like a dog", he muttered into the phone, his feet up, eyes on the game, the bag of Doritos on his chest almost empty. There must have been a time, long ago, he imagined, when dogs spent their lives herding cattle from sunrise to sunset, but any actual 21st century dog he knew was lazier than The Dude.

by Monkey's Dad March 01, 2020

Twelve again!!!

Remaining a child, year after year, all the way through one's theoretical adulthood.

"Yay, it's my birthday! Twelve again!!!"

by Monkey's Dad June 23, 2020

Orificial Intelligence

The intelligence to keep your orifices - nostrils and mouth - covered during a pandemic. Those who deny that Covid exists may refer to it as scoffingly as OI as they wheeze their final breath.

Dismissing Orificial Intelligence, she was, for some reason, on a ventilator. "I mean, Marjorie ain't on no damn ventilator and she wears a mask. Around her neck. And she got real intelligence."

by Monkey's Dad November 22, 2021

masturetribution

To lie beside a sleeping partner who has refused sex, and silently bring oneself to climax.

In a defiant act of masturetribution she gave herself a dozen orgasms, listening to him sleep, feeling it served him right for giving her the cold shoulder all week.

by Monkey's Dad March 12, 2020

vaccillation

Uncertainty about the value and wisdom of getting a vaccination.

Most people she knew were getting it, but she'd heard one story of a child being paralyzed for life, and she was in a state of vaccillation about whether to allow the immunization for her daughter.

by Monkey's Dad April 11, 2020

Darnella Frazier

Ms. Frazier is the courageous young woman whose video of the George Floyd killing in Minneapolis on May 25, 2020, became a crucial artifact of American history.

Only 17 at the time, Darnella Frazier is to the Floyd killing what Abraham Zapruder was to the assassination of John F. Kennedy, an accidental bystander with a camera, a vital witness to a pivotal moment. Ms. Frazier's video of the arrest, which recorded Floyd's plea - I can't breathe - as police officer Derek Chauvin knelt on his neck for more than 9 minutes, sparked protests across the country. A witness at Chauvin's murder trial, Ms. Frazier expressed regret for not physically confronting Mr. Chauvin. “It’s been nights I stayed up apologizing and apologizing to George Floyd for not doing more and not physically interacting and not saving his life,” Ms. Frazier said.

by Monkey's Dad April 03, 2021