Monkey's Dad's definitions

deprestidigitation

Depression, when the magic goes out of digital life.

She had been enthralled with Facetime, Zoom, texts and emails, yet now was overwhelmed with deprestidigitation, yearning for a touch, a smile, eye-contact, the unfiltered sound of a loving voice.

by Monkey's Dad April 2, 2020

Social-distance Drinker

Someone who only drinks alone.

For years he had only drunk in company, politely, and certainly had never taken a drink by himself, one of the warning signs of alcoholism, or so he had read. Now though... now it was different. Alone all day and night in his apartment, evening couldn't come fast enough as he looked forward to his first glass of wine, and his fourth, a social-distance drinker for the new era.

by Monkey's Dad April 3, 2020

Psychodemic

Psychological symptoms brought on by solitary lockdown during an epidemic.

Sleepless, edgy, self-critical and burned out from the abstractions of her computer and phone, she knew these feelings were psychodemic and hoped they would dissipate once freed from her confinement.

by Monkey's Dad April 10, 2020

Smart Lives Matter

Those who understand that the words "Please wear a mask" do not mean: 1) carry it in your hand, 2) wear it around your neck or 3) wear it covering your chin but not your mouth and nose.

YOU! ... Yes, you, coming within inches of me, breathing in my face, with YOUR MASK SECURED AROUND YOUR ELBOW! please respect my right to live even if you don't care about your own, because Smart Lives Matter.

by Monkey's Dad September 14, 2020

psick joke

Humor in such poor taste it is a symptom of psychosis.

Was she really aiming to get a laugh by mocking a gender-neutral, disabled person of indeterminate ethnicity, an age-challenged, vaccine-addled, undocumented person whose worldly belongings were spilling out of a shopping cart as they slowly tried to cross the street in front of her car while she leaned on the horn? It was by every standard worse than un-funny. It was deranged, a psick joke, but one she hoped would get her the gig she yearned for - hosting the 2025 White House Correspondents dinner.

by Monkey's Dad September 16, 2021

friend or faux?

Uncertainty about the genuineness of someone's affections.

She is always inviting me to lunch, texting, bringing small gifts, but there is something in her eyes which makes me wonder - is she friend or faux?

by Monkey's Dad October 6, 2020

Pharmageddon

Massive loss and suffering, resulting from potential failure to develop a vaccine against Covid-19.

As the hopes of the world were focused on Big Pharma, the dates kept getting pushed back - probably October, maybe by the end of the year, sometime in 2022, well, the virus keeps mutating, so... - the number of infections and deaths mounted, and it came to be seen as Pharmageddon.

by Monkey's Dad July 6, 2020