703 definitions by Monkey's Dad
'Love Thy Neighbor' seemed an outdated notion, a souvenir of a vanished world, everyone now sheltering indoors, regarding their neighbors as a threat, overtaken by suisociophobia.
by Monkey's Dad March 22, 2020
"Why is that Guinea Pig on a leash?" she wondered, before coming close enough to see that it was a full-grown, two-pound minimal, the smallest dog she had ever seen. She had to have one.
by Monkey's Dad March 16, 2020
Trump's having "won" the 2020 election, coronavirus being "under control", the stability of his genius.
"There are alternative facts" Kellyanne Conway warned us in the beginning, and who could have guessed how many there would be.
by Monkey's Dad December 2, 2020
Code name for an early email chain among a prominent group of medical experts, sounding the alarm about coronavirus. For months it was ignored by the president, who said of the pandemic, "It will disappear as if by magic".
If the president had not refused to listen to the Red Dawn warnings, the pandemic could have been much more effectively controlled in the United States.
by Monkey's Dad April 12, 2020
"So I took a bit of artistic license, okay? It's called "Queen Kong Lear", about an apewoman who feels unloved by her sons. If Shakespeare were alive today he'd totally love it."
by Monkey's Dad March 10, 2020
Song of the Barred Owl, by consensus of the ornithological community. Who Cooks for You? Who Cooks for Yooooou-All?, in two groups of four.
The owls were singing to each other, high in the spruce trees, and it always made them smile. Who Cooks for You? Who-Cooks-for-Yooooo-All? One night, they went outside with his guitar and he played it back to them.
by Monkey's Dad March 22, 2023
Marjorie Taylor's lament and no doubt her future campaign theme song, in what's sure to be a groundbreaking presidential bid.
To anyone who thought she effortlessly nailed the Gazpacho Police stalking the halls of congress, compared mask mandates to the Holocaust, or informed the citizenry of the United States that America was officially a Christian Nationalist country, Marjorie, capitalizing on her uncanny resemblance to Miss Piggy, lured Kermit into harmonizing with her as they sang "It's not easy being Greene".
by Monkey's Dad July 29, 2022