Mike Oxhard's definitions

cottage cheese diet

1. the habit of only having sex with women so obese they have severe cellulite (origin: the cottage cheese appearance of cellulite.

2. anything a woman who has severe cellulite eats .

1. She's too skinny for him, he's on a cottage cheese diet.

2. Damn, women on a cottage cheese diet shouldn't wear bikinis!

by Mike Oxhard July 12, 2006

dilbert

1. someone who works in a cubicle at a mind-numbing job.

2. a job that is good practice for being dead or in a coma.

Don't ask him about his job, he's a dilbert.

by Mike Oxhard July 13, 2006

Texas Tard

Nickname for George W. Bush, who was actually born in Connecticut. Not used in direct address because no one ever told him what "retard" means or that he is one.

The Texas Tard thinks he can invade Iran without starting World War III.

by Mike Oxhard July 10, 2006

whigger

1) a caucasian who doubts his own toughness, so thinks he can fool people into fearing and respecting him by acting black. Ironically, the effect is the opposite. No one is afraid of a whigger not even a smaller whigger.

2) an embarrassingly bad white rapper, generally not applied to the very few talented white rappers like Eminem.

1) Whenever someone hassles him he does his whigger routine because he thinks it will scare them.

2) Vanilla Ice is a whigger.

by Mike Oxhard July 10, 2006

cork

what you must insert to keep the hamster from escaping your ass.

He's in, now cork it before he gets out!

by Mike Oxhard July 13, 2006

metrosexual

A flaming, obvious homosexual, who nonetheless claims to be hetero, fooling only women, but not gay or straight men. May still be in denial about his sexual orientation, but can't suppress the fashion sense.

GIRL: He's not gay, he's a metrosexual!
GUY: Oh, yeah? Has he tried to have sex with you?
GIRL: No, he said he doesn't want to ruin our friendship...

by Mike Oxhard July 10, 2006

crack ho

1) a prostitute who only sells access to his or her anus. 2) butt monkey 3) a girl who exposes her anal cleft by wearing pants that ride too low.

Man, sometimes you can get a crack ho for half as much as a taco ho.

by Mike Oxhard July 10, 2006