MathPlus's definitions

Santa Claus is immune to Covid-19

WHO’s comforting message to millions of anxious children worldwide about Father Christmas to assure them (without proof) that despite his older age they needn’t worry about his health during this pandemic crisis, as he would be able to deliver their presents on Christmas Eve—however, they are reminded that they and Santa Claus must adhere to physical social distancing and must obey their parents to sleep early on December 24.

Because Santa Claus is immune to Covid-19, WHO confirmed that most countries—except those few nations that forbid Christmas because it is an “infidel” or pagan festival—would relax their quarantine rules to enable Santa and his flying reindeer to enter their airspace, so that he could uninterruptedly and unobstructively deliver the presents before December 25.

by MathPlus December 14, 2020

Pignant

When a woman is approximately π months pregnant, or is slightly past her first trimester.

When asked by her nosy colleagues whether she’s expecting a baby, Alice geekily told them that she’s pignant, much to their confusion by what she meant.

by MathPlus May 24, 2021

The Holey Bible

A specially designed Bible with a cross-shaped hole that runs across the front and back covers of the holy book to remind readers that Jesus died on the cross for their sins, so that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.

No one knows how many original copies of “The Holey Bible”—a collectors’ item among both believers and unbelievers—are in circulation.

by MathPlus August 21, 2021

Avoid Pi Like the Plague

An ill-advised mantra math-anxious folks unquestionably take to heart on hearing it from negative or unhelpful people, who are only contaminating the minds of their listeners with fake mathematical information.

To tell someone to avoid pi like the plague is like telling them that π is a rational number because it can be expressed as the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter.

by MathPlus November 6, 2021

Everyone is a fake

Not just Donald Trump, but practically everyone who has ever achieved some degree of worldly success, is a charlatan—people improvise as they go along, hoping that luck and success would conspire to be on their side until they become somebody blessed with many friends (and fiends and foes).

The biographies of many successful people reveal that when faced with hit-and-hope situations, they can’t help but to bluff or fake their way through until they make it—an oft-unspoken common denominator among many rich and famous people is that everyone is a fake at some point, when they’re still a nobody.

by MathPlus September 5, 2018

Mathematically Playful

When a math educator desires to be creative, purposeful, and challenged in teaching or sharing math to the best of their abilities—for example, submitting some math tidbit or irreverent math entry to Urban Dictionary to humanize the most disliked subject in school.

Being mathematically playful might win you a number of fans and friends, but it often triggers an unhealthy climate of envy and jealousy among your fiends and foes, who will serially and wickedly downvote any published math entries at the slightest opportunity, thus immaturely exposing their deep hatred and irrational fear.

by MathPlus February 2, 2019

Mask Wearing Syndrome

When people continually wear a face mask daily long after the coronavirus pandemic has been contained—when mask withdrawal causes them psychological pain rather than physical gain.

Guesstimate how many people worldwide suffer from mask wearing syndrome, who need to seek treatment for their withdrawal symptoms.

by MathPlus June 8, 2021