Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian's definitions

Lemon grass

A type of fragrant tropical grass which produces an oil that smells like lemon. It's widely used in Asian cooking and in perfumery and medicine.

I ordered some beef ramen with lemon grass

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian January 5, 2023

To be or not to be

Asking the ontological question of whether one's existence has any meaning in this world.

Aka whether one should kill himself or not.

Me: "To be or not to be, that is the question."

Dude on internet: "Kys fag"

Me: "Thank you kind stranger for answering my question! I Shall now kill myself :)"

*dies*

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian January 24, 2020

It isn't what it isn't

Essentially the same meaning as "it is what it is", but to make it more clear that you can't "wish" for the unpleasant thing/situation/fate to not happen.

Dudebro 1: Dude my bank account just got hacked and I lost $2000, I wish this would've never happened to me.
Dudebro 2: It isn't what it isn't man.

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian May 9, 2021

Caning

What your old man would used to do to you whenever you were misbehaving.

Me, when I was 8 years old: *reaches for a lighter*

Pa: Boy, if I see you play with that lighter yer gonna get a good caning later

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian April 2, 2020

Webhook

That other definition didn't even try. First of all, technically speaking, a webhook is a means for an app or service to provide new information to third parties as some event occurs within it. For example, GitHub uses webhooks to allow users to integrate services and automate workflows. But that's not what I'm here to say.

Second of all, as far as I am concerned, webhooks are an absolute lie with regards to Discord. You'd think it's on the same level as AHK (Autohotkey) in terms of its ease of use and the endless possibilities you can do with it. Well, it's not. Discord basically tells you to go use webhooks if you want a feature that they don't offer (which is A LOT of features). Could you achieve it? Maybe, possibly, but never certainly. Was it worth the time and effort? Hell no.

Me: I want to post to multiple servers simultaneously.
Discord: Sorry we don't have this feature. But if you seriously want it, feel free to rely on webhooks.
Me: Bah humbug.

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian March 2, 2024

Glossy taco

The act of taking a hard taco shell, coating it with thicc layer of glossy top coat, and then inserting one's wood into the shell and fucking it until completion. The glossy top coat helps protect the taco shell from rupturing due to the sheer force of fucking, and the smooth coating decreases friction. Feels especially good when wet or lubed.

No girl wanted to hook up with me today so I bought myself some hard taco shells, a bottle of glossy top coat, and did the glossy taco.

(yep, I just lewded this perfectly innocent definition lol)

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian October 17, 2021

Anaclitic Therapy

Quite possibly one of the most bizarre forms of psychotherapy, anaclitic therapy was used to treat people (mostly adult men) with mommy or daddy issues. It involves a (typically female) therapist drugging the client with LSD, and once fully intoxicated, the client is encouraged to crawl between the legs of the therapist. This is to symbolize the rebirth of the person. The therapist would then tell the patient to sit on her lap and gently rock him, all while feeding him warm milk from a baby bottle. And remember, the client is tripping balls throughout this entire process. To this day, no one knows if those clients actually benefited from anaclitic therapy.

Todd is a grown up man in his early 30s who is still suffering from mommy issues from his childhood. After hearing his friend talk about a rare form of therapy (Anaclitic Therapy) and how it might help him with his troubled past, he was determined to find such a therapist. Completely unaware of the freakishness that was about to happen, Todd decided to schedule an appointment with this anaclitic therapist who resided in the countryside. After one therapy session, Todd came out and never looked at life the same again.

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian November 16, 2019