Alpha M.

As his completely and utterly delusional pseudonym unquestionably suggests, the dwarfed 5ft4 small turbo-manlet Aaron "Alpha M." Marino is the preposterously petite personification of manlet cope. Exceeding only at telling tall tales about protein powder and his self-evident manletism, taking steroids, giving standing blowjobs and constantly inventing new forms of manlet mathematics and guy height, Aaron "Absolute Manlet" Marino is axiomatically afflicted with such Stalinesquely severe levels of small man syndrome due to his subhumanly stunted short stature, that he is forced to regularly post mortifyingly manletism and manlet rage-induced bitterly boyish bodybuilding YouTube videos out of his manlet pit of a hobbit-hole, like the sneaky and stunted, effeminate Ewok, petite little manlet princess that he most certainly is. Perhaps Aaron "Abominable Manlet" Marino would be best advised to stop being an overcompensating, scamming Little Napoleon and to finally embrace his peculiar petiteness and inherent effeminacy by henceforth only posting baking, cooking, home decoration and yoga videos while enthusiastically submitting to a real man (manmore) and thereby accepting his ridiculous role as the sexy sissy manlet that he was always destined to be, as nature so clearly intends it?
Madison: Manlet detected. Isn't that Aaron Alpha M. "Abhorrently Minuscule" Marino being brutally squashed beneath a two-pound dumbbell over there? Maria: Who cares? Short people got nobody. Madison: Manlets rise up!
by ManletDepreciator October 03, 2024
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barnyard manlet

The barnyard manlet, also known as the cabbage patch manlet, is a microscopically minuscule misanthropic manlet who has been so completely and utterly driven to madness by the devastatingly deadly disability of manletism (the catastrophically crippling curse of excruciatingly and eternally existing as a dwarfed male shorter than 5ft10), that he now indulges in a countryside lifestyle by frolicking around like the tiny fairy that he is in barnyards while wearing flowery and frilly summer dresses and high heels. Quickly adapting to his new environment, akin to the stunted sub-aquatic murloc manlet, the bitterly boyish barnyard manlet is always eager to please his superlatively superior, supremely magnificent manmore farmer overlord by enthusiastically serving as a chew toy for the towering farmer's guard dogs, as a garden gnome (naturally), a doorstop, a leg rest, a spittoon and as a Stalinesquely stunted hobbit scarecrow after rightfully receiving a hanging wedgie from a laughing pig named Napoleon and then sobbingly dangling for hours on end suspended by his pink panties from a toothpick embedded in a field in the middle of nowhere. Manlet Animal Farm. In his spare time the barnyard manlet enjoys mud wrestling chickens (before having his way with them) and chugging down copious amounts of Hobbit Ale (made from fermented rabbit poop and petty-dwarf roots) mixed with horse semen (in the desperate hope of finally triggering a growth spurt), as is the dwarven tradition.
Barnyard manlet: Hey there sweet cheeks, do you wanna buy some of my Hobbit Ale? Samantha: Absolutely not! Now cease your tall tales manletspeak, choke on your enema juice, posture check yourself, pick up your high heels and then go cry in the nearest manlet pit, you grotesquely gnomish, petite and puny, ridiculous runt of an effeminate Ewok mama's boy midget monstrosity! Manlets BTFO.
by ManletDepreciator October 02, 2024
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Next to embarrassingly encasing his hairy, little hobbit feet in a variety of fabulously effeminate, insoles-containing stacked-heeled boots, platform shoes and high heels, all the while being a pint-sized petite pathological liar who constantly regurgitates a small man syndrome-induced stream of Todd Howard's tall tales, the terminally insecure and aggravatingly ant-like turbo-manlet Tiny Todd "Tiddly Termite" Howard girlishly enjoys dolling himself up by intermittently donning either a black or brown boys large leather jacket when out on the town and looking for a potential manmore sugar daddy. This is without a doubt just another one of Todd "Heckled Homunculus" Howard's manlet cope and manlet rage-induced, hilariously doomed attempts at emphasizing his obviously non-existent masculinity, which is immediately rendered futile when the inherently effeminate Little Napoleon is absolutely dwarfed by every single grown-up that Tiny Todd "High Five" Howard comes into contact with, like the subhumanly stunted, diminutively delicate, devastatingly dwarfed, petulantly puny and preposterously petite, scandalously stunted little runt of a sissy fairy manlet princess that the whole world most definitely knows him to be.
Melissa: Hey, why is there a brown dishrag lying in the street over there? Ellen: It's one of Todd Howard's boys large leather jackets. The utterly insignificant and microscopically minuscule midget monstrosity was crossing the road when a bee humming bird suddenly swooped down and just carried him away! Melissa: Manlets BTFO.
by ManletDepreciator October 11, 2024
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Napoleon complex psychosis

Driven to madness by manletism and the naturally resulting Napoleon complex psychosis, the deranged manlet boy goes into a catatonic state and idly spends his ample free time, in between involuntary stints at acute psychiatric wards, by sitting motionlessly atop of open-air jungle gyms, as he mourns the blindingly obvious fact that he is forever a boy and will never be a man, while the other children pelt him with dried dog turds and stolen garden gnomes, by maniacally jumping up and down with manlet rage underneath outdoor basketball hoops while wearing nothing but high heels and a training bra (to the great amusement of the gathered manmores) or by lying face down on the floor of his hobbit-hole while tearfully and repetitively reciting the lyrics of Randy Newman's unforgettably unsurpassable smash hit Short People.
Amanda: Manlet detected - why is that sobbing and diminutively dwarfed little sadlet sprinting half-naked through the park over there? Melanie: The Napoleon complex psychosis suffering sissy boy was making a fool of himself on the basketball court, so the masculine manmores stuffed him into the hoop and now the midget monstrosity is scuttling back to his hobbit-hole. Amanda: Manlets BTFO. Hahahahaha! Melanie: Manlets, when will they learn?
by ManletDepreciator August 30, 2024
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murderous manlet

The murderous manlet is an outrageously overcompensating, grotesquely gnomish and severely stunted sexy sissy manlet (a dwarfed male shorter than 5ft10) who has childishly channeled his short man's syndrome-induced manlet rage into the pursuit and furtherance of criminal endeavors, which he is forced to conduct by the cowardly use of dwarfish manipulation tactics as he is obviously far too short to ever be looked up to as real man and a leader. The 5ft2 turbo-manlet Charles Milles Maddox "Manlet Boy" Manson, a misanthropic manlet and myopic manlet par excellence, learned the consequences of this lowly behavior the hard way when he was brutally bullied and turned into a prison wife manlet by the manmores of the Aryan Brotherhood prison gang while incarcerated in the early 1970's after brainwashing his feeble-minded cult followers into committing an escalating series of violent crimes in California in the late 1960's and early 1970's, culminating in the horrific Tate murders on the night of August 8, 1969. Remember kids, say no to drugs, never trust a manlet and height is a choice!
Bagel Boss Manlet: Shut your mouth! You're not God, or my father, or my boss! Towering manmore: Lol, don't go all murderous manlet on me, you silly, little midget boy! What's wrong? Did your mommy drop your pacifier? Hahahahaha!
by ManletDepreciator September 26, 2024
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military manlet

The military manlet is an overcompensating manlet boy who, in a fit of Napoleon complex-induced insanity, has signed up for active duty with the United States Armed Forces. Here the useless and effeminate manlets are generally used as cannon fodder when deployed in the absurd spectacle known as the manlet wave attack tactic, but can also be traded as war brides, serve as portable human shields or can be used as an emergency fortification when stacked up as a barricade in lieu of sandbags. The military manlet is always keen to raise the morale of the actual soldiers in his platoon by donning an Oompa Loompa costume and dancing a merry jig atop a mess hall table as the surrounding military manlets clap in unison while dancing in a circle like the fairies that they are and all the manmores pelt him with height boosting insoles. As an encore Manletlyn Monroe performs smash hits such as "High Heels Are A Manlets Best Friend" and "Bye Bye Masculinity" to further entertain the troops.
Why is that pantsed military manlet lying face down in the mud over there? The silly sissy manlet broke one of his high heels while prancing around on the obstacle course and threw a hissy fit, so the real soldiers just left him there. Never leave a man behind - that obviously doesn't apply to manlets.
by ManletDepreciator August 22, 2024
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Kevin Hart

Standing small at 5ft2, Kevin Hart is the same height as a 13 year old girl. Having long ago realized that he will never be taken seriously as a man because he is a petite and effeminate sissy manlet, little Kevin therefore resorts to publicly humiliating himself by performing childish comedy routines. The resulting publicity only serves to further inflate his already gargantuan Napoleon complex, which in turn drives the silly manlet to ever greater levels of compensation. It's a (hilarious) vicious circle. When will they learn?
Hey, isn't that midget comedian Kevin Hart being attacked by a butterfly over there? Yeah, it is - the butterfly must be like a dragon to that microscopic manlet boy!
by ManletDepreciator July 28, 2024
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