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Malcolm X-crement's definitions

Howdy Doody

1. A classic childrens television show from the 1950's featuring Buffalo Bob, a ventriloquist who had, among characters, a wooden puppet named Howdy Doody.

2. What you say to the steaming pile of turds in the toilet, when you turn back to look at them.
"It's Howdy Doody time, boys and girls!

Howdy!, doody!
by Malcolm X-crement December 7, 2003
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christmas

An ancient Roman Pagan festival that was given a "Christian" name in the fouirth century. Even though no one knows the date of Jesus Christs birth, it is for certain that it could not have been on Dec. 25th. Yet, people lie and say that Jesus was born on this day- and then they participate in all the old pagan customs, as if that honors Christ.
Think about it- what does putting a pine tree in your living room have to do with Jesus? Would Jesus approve of a huge lie that is perpetuated on kids every year about Santa Claus?
Why do Protestants celebrate a Catholic holiday- Christs' Mass?
Real Christians don't celebrate the Pagan, Catholic holiday of Christmas!
by Malcolm X-crement December 19, 2003
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Disturbed

1. Short for "mentally disturbed"- a psychotic, retarded or very stupid person- or a person who acts that way.

2. What you get when someone interrupts you during a session of masturbation.
1. People who listen to heavey-metal music are disturbed!

2. I walked in on Paul when he was choking his chicken and disturbed him.
by Malcolm X-crement December 6, 2003
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guano

1. Avian fecal matter. In the 18th and 19th centuries, the North American Guano Company would send ships to south-Pacific islands to harvest the guan, which was used as fertilizer. (seriously!)

2. Bad news or something unpleasant and unflattering.
1. We used to have to import our <i>guano</i> from Mocronesia, but today we produce so much bullshit in Washington, that we no longer need the bird shit!

2. Wendy really dumped a load of <i>guano</i> on me when she said we were breaking up!
by Malcolm X-crement November 16, 2003
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Kegel

An alternate term for bowling- according to the noted linguistic expert, Fred Flintstone.
Hey Barn, care to go kegeling?
by Malcolm X-crement October 17, 2006
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Schvatze

A term often used by Jews to describe a person with dark brown skin, huge lips and knappy hair; a Junglebunny.
Oy, Murray! Don't run over those schvatzes!
by Malcolm X-crement November 17, 2003
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The Hersheys

To have a very watery bowel movement that bursts out of ones anus uncontrollably, while making a noise similar to the noise heard when one squeezes a plastic bottle of Hersheys milk chocolate.

The shits; diarrhea.
I had to get up five times last night to walk Muffy, as she had the Hersheys again!
by Malcolm X-crement December 21, 2003
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