Bob: "We better get out of here before the teacher catches us."
Joe: "Whomst?"
Bob: "You're right, who gives a shit?"
Suzy: "Oh look, Jane, your ex-boyfriend's at the club as well."
Jane: "Whomst?"
Suzy: "Hell yeah, girl! To hell with him."
Joe: "Whomst?"
Bob: "You're right, who gives a shit?"
Suzy: "Oh look, Jane, your ex-boyfriend's at the club as well."
Jane: "Whomst?"
Suzy: "Hell yeah, girl! To hell with him."
by Mai Ainsel December 17, 2020
A variation of malicious compliance where you respond (or offer to respond) with way more than what was asked of you, in order to try and pressure the asker to back off.
Sue: "So I told my husband I wasn't ok with him staying at his ex-girlfriend's house when he visited her town," and he was like, 'fine, I'll never hang out alone with any female friend - ever - if that's what it takes for you to trust me'!"
Sam: "That's some grade-A malicious over-compliance. My Mom's the queen of it. I told her I didn't have time to talk for 3 hours on the phone every day and she goes 'oh I'm so sorry, I'll stop bothering you with my sad, boring life - I'll never demand speak to you again... but perhaps you would allow me a 2-minute call on my birthdays and maybe Christmas?' Like, geez, lady!"
Kid: "Bye Dad, I'm gonna hang out with some older guys in a parking lot."
Sam: "No you're not - it's 10:30pm on a school night ."
Kid: "Fine, I guess I'll just stay home all day every day and never do anything but study and pray!"
Sam: "That's nice, kid - now do your homework." *turns to Sue* "Yeah, my daughter apparently inherited the malicious over compliance talent from gran-gran. I was sort hoping she'd get Mom's singing talent, but nooo... just the theater drama."
Sam: "That's some grade-A malicious over-compliance. My Mom's the queen of it. I told her I didn't have time to talk for 3 hours on the phone every day and she goes 'oh I'm so sorry, I'll stop bothering you with my sad, boring life - I'll never demand speak to you again... but perhaps you would allow me a 2-minute call on my birthdays and maybe Christmas?' Like, geez, lady!"
Kid: "Bye Dad, I'm gonna hang out with some older guys in a parking lot."
Sam: "No you're not - it's 10:30pm on a school night ."
Kid: "Fine, I guess I'll just stay home all day every day and never do anything but study and pray!"
Sam: "That's nice, kid - now do your homework." *turns to Sue* "Yeah, my daughter apparently inherited the malicious over compliance talent from gran-gran. I was sort hoping she'd get Mom's singing talent, but nooo... just the theater drama."
by Mai Ainsel July 09, 2020
Pointless nitpicking of a solution - especially with a cover of SJW-style pretentiousness masked as inclusivity. Like if someone had responded to "maybe I'll provide sandwiches for the office lunch," with "not everyone can eat sandwiches - what if they can't lift the bread with their hands because they're disabled, or what if their religion forbids sandwiches, or what if sandwiches are a trigger?"
Sue: "So I suggested maybe the girls from bookclub would like a movie night to see the film of the book we just read, and Karen kept going on about how we needed to check to make sure there weren't any triggers in the movie, and see if we needed to post a flashing-lights warning."
Bob: "Does anyone in the bookclub actually need that?"
Sue: "No. She just likes being a Not Everyone Can Eat Sandwiches pain in the ass."
Bob: "I hear you. I got a guy at the office who says it would be unfair to offer team lunches as a reward for people because it excludes those who practice intermittent fasting. We don't even have anyone that does that - but hey, he says one day we might, and then that person might feel excluded."
Bob: "Does anyone in the bookclub actually need that?"
Sue: "No. She just likes being a Not Everyone Can Eat Sandwiches pain in the ass."
Bob: "I hear you. I got a guy at the office who says it would be unfair to offer team lunches as a reward for people because it excludes those who practice intermittent fasting. We don't even have anyone that does that - but hey, he says one day we might, and then that person might feel excluded."
by Mai Ainsel April 07, 2021
A pun on "wishful thinking," it's when a man lets his own sexual interest in someone strongly color his judgement regarding the person's reciprocal interest in him. It makes him interpret every gesture from his object of interest as a come on, even when it clearly isn't. This is known as clitful thinking if it's a woman.
Him: "So the new hot intern says 'good morning' to me when she comes in to work, and once commented on my desk picture of my kids - said they were cute. She's totally into me. I'm gonna try and hook up with her at the office party."
Friend: "I get that it's been tough for your after the divorce, but that's just dickful thinking. She's not into you, now stop before you get an HR complaint."
OR
Him: "Pete high-fived me at the trivia night - I'll bet he's secretly gay and would let me blow him."
Friend: "You have no gaydar and a bad case of dickful thinking. The boy's straight."
Friend: "I get that it's been tough for your after the divorce, but that's just dickful thinking. She's not into you, now stop before you get an HR complaint."
OR
Him: "Pete high-fived me at the trivia night - I'll bet he's secretly gay and would let me blow him."
Friend: "You have no gaydar and a bad case of dickful thinking. The boy's straight."
by Mai Ainsel February 23, 2020
The cough/cold/flu everyone gets after going to Hajj, because you're stuffed up close with people from every corner of the world, and one of them is gonna have whatever flu virus it is that you aren't immune to
by Mai Ainsel February 08, 2020
Doing an unasked-for favor for someone, and then using it to try and guilt them into doing something for you.
Sam: "So Bob shows up at my house randomly with some brown bananas and is like 'hey, you can use these to make banana bread,' and I'm like 'uh, ok, I don't really bake but thanks,' and then he invites himself in for an hour and asks to borrow $300."
Joe: "That's some prime favor sharking right there. But my mother in law is worse. She keeps buying us weird vases and knick-knacks we don't need and then calls us ungrateful if we don't spend hours on the phone with her saying thank you and talking about where we'll put them in the house. We keep asking her to stop but she won't.
Joe: "That's some prime favor sharking right there. But my mother in law is worse. She keeps buying us weird vases and knick-knacks we don't need and then calls us ungrateful if we don't spend hours on the phone with her saying thank you and talking about where we'll put them in the house. We keep asking her to stop but she won't.
by Mai Ainsel June 17, 2020
The alter ego responsible for anything bad you were caught doing. Originally a meme based on a Tumblr user that claimed "Eminem isn't violent, Slim Shady is," and the response "im robbing a bank tomorrow and when the cops come for me imma tell them it was my alter ego countess boochie flagrante," it is now used for any time someone tries a "that isn't really who I am" excuse.
Person: "I'm sorry about that videoed incident of me screaming racial slurs at minorities! I just want you to know, that does not represent the sort of person I am."
Everyone Else: "Yeah, sure - it wasn't you, it was your alter ego, Countess Boochie Flagrante."
Person: "I'm sorry I fucked your husband and then, when when the affair became public, spread terrible rumors about you so that I'd look like less of a homewrecker. I want you to know, that's not who I really am."
Wife: "Ah yes! You didn't tell the neighborhood I was a bipolar valium addict, it was your famous alter-ego Countess Boochie Flagrante."
Person: "I'm sorry for embezzling from that children's charity! That's not who I really am!"
Everyone Else: "Countess Boochie Flagrante strikes again!"
Everyone Else: "Yeah, sure - it wasn't you, it was your alter ego, Countess Boochie Flagrante."
Person: "I'm sorry I fucked your husband and then, when when the affair became public, spread terrible rumors about you so that I'd look like less of a homewrecker. I want you to know, that's not who I really am."
Wife: "Ah yes! You didn't tell the neighborhood I was a bipolar valium addict, it was your famous alter-ego Countess Boochie Flagrante."
Person: "I'm sorry for embezzling from that children's charity! That's not who I really am!"
Everyone Else: "Countess Boochie Flagrante strikes again!"
by Mai Ainsel November 06, 2019