We were very sad to hear our dear Ry Ry has left Star 98.7. Then we heard about the last days of Rick Dees. How could anyone go on? We were thrilled when Ry Ry took over Rick Dees slot on 102.7 KIIS FM.
by Luigi March 04, 2004
Medium to small size. Tiny, insignificant, embarrassingly in need of those Swedish enlargers sold through spam emails.
Mikhail Gorbachev, faced with a shortage of condoms and a rising threat of AIDS, asked President Reagan for assistance in supplying the Soviet Union with prophylactics.
"Send us 10 thousand, colored red, with the words SIZE LARGE and MADE IN USSR printed on them."
President Reagan was glad to help, though when Gorby got the shipment, he thought perhaps the President was a bit hard of hearing. Because the condoms were red, all right, red, white and blue. Printed on them in block letters was MADE IN THE USA and SIZE SMALL.
"Send us 10 thousand, colored red, with the words SIZE LARGE and MADE IN USSR printed on them."
President Reagan was glad to help, though when Gorby got the shipment, he thought perhaps the President was a bit hard of hearing. Because the condoms were red, all right, red, white and blue. Printed on them in block letters was MADE IN THE USA and SIZE SMALL.
by Luigi August 08, 2004
by luigi March 14, 2005
An especially large turd that circles the bowl a few times, leaving skid marks before it flushes. Especially common these days due to low-flush toilets.
Raisa was tired of scrubbing the bowl every time her husband Igor took a dump. He left enormous bowl skidders every time, and it took quite a bit of Comet cleanser and a good brush to remove their presense, and what with all the other things Raisa had to do, shave the cat, fry the beetroots and launder all the spacesuits, she was tired of this unnecessary cleaning.
by Luigi July 11, 2004
by Luigi June 03, 2003
by Luigi July 11, 2004
Synonymous with internet cafe; a place that serves coffee, drinks and has terminals and internet connections to rent by the hour.
The cyber café where Mark tended to end up, evening after evening, served a mediocre Napa white and superb T1 internet access. Mark had a laptop and a dial-up connection in his apartment, but he preferred the faster online connection and the false sense of camaraderie at the café. In truth, no one ever spoke to anyone else there--even the barrista made the drinks in church-like silence. Each patron sipped at his computer booth, lost in a cyberworld of their own creation.
There was a bright new banner, announcing an online dating service. “30 Days, Guaranteed or Your Money Back!” it boasted. What the hell, thought Mark, who was an optimist despite some notable dating disasters in the past. There was that gal from Medway, the one with the three cats and the bad case of…Mark shuddered and tried to wipe that image out of his mind. What the hell, thought Mark, and signed on.
Night after night, he faced a woman across a table, and night after night the same thoughts were exchanged: He’s better than I thought. She’s worse than I imagined. I could manage him, if he’d get a better job. Why can’t there be a woman who’s smart and doesn’t look and smell like exactly a pit bull, thought Mark. There has to be one. Somewhere.
Then he met Belkis. “I changed my name from Magda, “ she confided. Magda, he thought, is a pretty exotic name already. What about Magda needed changing? He didn’t ask.
Belkis was smart, all right, and beautiful, in a dark and somewhat masculinely sinister way. Her figure was taut, her brows somewhat low, and her teeth looked white, but sharp. She wore red lipstick that left a mark on the espresso cups like a vampire bite.
Starting over wasn’t so bad, Mark thought. He didn't like his old job, his cramped apartment or that town anyway. Changing your identity could even be exciting, if you looked at it in the right light. He hadn’t heard from Belkis or her lawyers in over a month. Too bad he forgot to change his cell phone number. Belkis was a patient woman.
There was a bright new banner, announcing an online dating service. “30 Days, Guaranteed or Your Money Back!” it boasted. What the hell, thought Mark, who was an optimist despite some notable dating disasters in the past. There was that gal from Medway, the one with the three cats and the bad case of…Mark shuddered and tried to wipe that image out of his mind. What the hell, thought Mark, and signed on.
Night after night, he faced a woman across a table, and night after night the same thoughts were exchanged: He’s better than I thought. She’s worse than I imagined. I could manage him, if he’d get a better job. Why can’t there be a woman who’s smart and doesn’t look and smell like exactly a pit bull, thought Mark. There has to be one. Somewhere.
Then he met Belkis. “I changed my name from Magda, “ she confided. Magda, he thought, is a pretty exotic name already. What about Magda needed changing? He didn’t ask.
Belkis was smart, all right, and beautiful, in a dark and somewhat masculinely sinister way. Her figure was taut, her brows somewhat low, and her teeth looked white, but sharp. She wore red lipstick that left a mark on the espresso cups like a vampire bite.
Starting over wasn’t so bad, Mark thought. He didn't like his old job, his cramped apartment or that town anyway. Changing your identity could even be exciting, if you looked at it in the right light. He hadn’t heard from Belkis or her lawyers in over a month. Too bad he forgot to change his cell phone number. Belkis was a patient woman.
by Luigi August 08, 2004