Textracted

When feeling that urge to text someone while also walking or driving or somewhere that takes your concentration away for being 'textracted'.... (of course please do not text and drive)

Walking for the bus, Angy grabbed her phone to text someone.

Text: "on my...........fuck, I just tripped over the pavement. On my way"
Still being 'textracted' Angy quickens her pace and starts to slowly run for the bus that she see from the corner of her eye has arrived at the bus stop.
Text: "Gettin on bus...........shit, coat is caught in the buses door.......on bus now"

by Long Johns January 01, 2014

Money

To encourage those to be out of their homes and within an area of society where majority of public are located....ruling the roost by forcing those to live harder.

After the neandrethal had found themselves out of the woods, by the luring of the nightly wolves under moonlight. The then change in life was to bring them out of their homes, too, thus the encouragement to pay their ways with money. Similar to finding themselves out of the woods, but to control the masses to be in a location of civilisation.

by Long Johns October 21, 2015

Fat

Massive, will do well, excellent, to describe the huge enjoyment for an object or thing such as music or a film.

'that new tune is fat'.

by Long Johns July 03, 2011

Splompee

To behave just as messy as being pissed.

Jo was acting very splompee today, her priorities were all over the place. And were talking in slurring terms.

by Long Johns May 27, 2017

Masturbation

Although, pronounced really as Master Bation, is a suffering of bating who becomes their master. By masturbation, will cast away that tormenting spirit that haunts within their minds. Towards a more well suited ruler to bless their soul once their handy work has endured. Of course, that tormenting spirit finds this as an exciting game to play, so torments constantly non-stop and continually making the masturbation go on and on.

Ben liked having a quick bash of his bishop, only things turned slightly awkward. A tormenting spirit saw this masturbation go on, and realising how the mind his satisfies was not as he prefered. Within bens mind this spirit kept reminding him, by saying 'you're me' non-stop, of the master he has upon his head. So at several intervals, all day and all week, till he rubbed sore, masterbated till his mind was at peace and had the master he wished for.

by Long Johns October 24, 2014

Christmastake

Gullible to be taken in - with your Jewish friends and secret Jehovah Witnesses friends or anyother friends of another religion - that convince you they too celebrate Christmas but only to accept your generous kind-hearted hand-outs. Only to later pass on your gifts for other purposes.

Jonny gave his best mate a big present this year for Christmas. Only Jonny later discovered his mate was not a Christian who celebrates Christmas, so gave a gift away for no reason and now feels stupid and made an utter Christmastake.

by Long Johns December 26, 2011

Clanky

Commotion, loud, attention, noticeable, drawn towards.

Since Joany went on that reality audition show and got recognised in the street, she's been acting very clanky lately.

by Long Johns August 11, 2016