Logical Empiricist Stoic's definitions
A member of the Covidian sect of cultish apologists who fervently adhere to the teachings and mandates of the one and only true Fauchovah.
"Do NOT confuse Fauchovah's Witnesses with JWs."
"One is the sole religion of the only true god & the other is Jehovah's Witnesses!"
"One is the sole religion of the only true god & the other is Jehovah's Witnesses!"
by Logical Empiricist Stoic September 11, 2023
Get the Fauchovah's Witness mug.1. Out of sheer boredom and lack of the ability to socialize in groups, many survivors of regular Covid Season end up procreating with otherwise non-suitable partners. Amorous opportunities are further enhanced by being Covid Doable aka Covid Hot, which is the perception of increased attractiveness due to at least a modicum of desperation, minimum social distancing, and mask-covered faces. These unions, although usually transient and ephemeral, often result in producing offspring known as Covid Babies.
2. Individuals who exhibit the infantile vulnerability associated with Covid Season and its unlimited, non-specific, and often conflicting symptoms. Covid Babies are easily identified by their characteristic puerile whining of Covid Carols.
2. Individuals who exhibit the infantile vulnerability associated with Covid Season and its unlimited, non-specific, and often conflicting symptoms. Covid Babies are easily identified by their characteristic puerile whining of Covid Carols.
"Haven't seen you in years! Had no idea that you were even pregnant, much less had a kid."
"Yeah! Me and the ex hooked up during the Covid Season lockdowns a few years ago and ended up having a Covid Baby"
OR:
"Melvyn is in there whining Covid Carols!"
"Somebody stop by the drugstore for the Covid Baby and pick up some tampons!"
"Yeah! Me and the ex hooked up during the Covid Season lockdowns a few years ago and ended up having a Covid Baby"
OR:
"Melvyn is in there whining Covid Carols!"
"Somebody stop by the drugstore for the Covid Baby and pick up some tampons!"
by Logical Empiricist Stoic November 6, 2023
Get the Covid Baby mug.The omniscient & omnipotent deity, who becomes man who becomes super god, and ultimately inspires, leads, & controls the minds & combined will of his Covidian religious cult followers.
Like any god, he retains absolutely no accountability because good outcomes are due to his gracious benevolence while undesired consequences result from his purging crucible or fully-merited sanctions.
Like any god, he retains absolutely no accountability because good outcomes are due to his gracious benevolence while undesired consequences result from his purging crucible or fully-merited sanctions.
“I’m not feeling well with a symptom that could be from any ailment listed in any of all the world’s medical journals & blogs.”
“Praise Fauchovah!”
“Praise Fauchovah!”
by Logical Empiricist Stoic October 22, 2023
Get the Fauchovah mug.Cost per Nut (CPN) is the empirical value that ultimately answers the question, “Which woman is hotter?”
In its simplest form:
CPN = total resources spent (MONEY + TIME + EFFORT) / number of directly induced orgasms (not including fantasized jerk-offs)
MONEY includes meals, gifts, etc. TIME includes the number of dates, phone calls, emails, etc. EFFORT takes into account travel, meeting her friends & family, etc.
Because of the subjective nature of dating and relationships, (ie “I prefer blondes”, “I like big butts”, “I’m a boob man”, etc), CPN condenses to one of the most basic goals of male dating and the relative cost of reaching it.
Note that CPN will vary greatly for the same woman depending on her evaluation of the individual male. While one hears “I don’t do that”, Chads easily bypass her defenses or simply aren’t confronted with such automatic barriers.
CPN is often challenged by the emotional female response “You can’t put a price on love!” This is ostensibly true. However, all too often and late, once-enamored males find themselves on the wanting side of female-biased institutions, such as divorce court, where a judge will tell him, to the penny, how much “love” costs per month.
In practical application, CPN tends to enhance the merit of the Hotness Scale (aka Hot-Crazy Matrix) and helps males focus on their innate logic before being overwhelmed by primal urges and emotions.
In its simplest form:
CPN = total resources spent (MONEY + TIME + EFFORT) / number of directly induced orgasms (not including fantasized jerk-offs)
MONEY includes meals, gifts, etc. TIME includes the number of dates, phone calls, emails, etc. EFFORT takes into account travel, meeting her friends & family, etc.
Because of the subjective nature of dating and relationships, (ie “I prefer blondes”, “I like big butts”, “I’m a boob man”, etc), CPN condenses to one of the most basic goals of male dating and the relative cost of reaching it.
Note that CPN will vary greatly for the same woman depending on her evaluation of the individual male. While one hears “I don’t do that”, Chads easily bypass her defenses or simply aren’t confronted with such automatic barriers.
CPN is often challenged by the emotional female response “You can’t put a price on love!” This is ostensibly true. However, all too often and late, once-enamored males find themselves on the wanting side of female-biased institutions, such as divorce court, where a judge will tell him, to the penny, how much “love” costs per month.
In practical application, CPN tends to enhance the merit of the Hotness Scale (aka Hot-Crazy Matrix) and helps males focus on their innate logic before being overwhelmed by primal urges and emotions.
"Hey Bro! I think they’re both hot & really like me. Which one should I choose?"
"Pull yourself together my man! All that matters is which one has the lowest Cost per Nut (CPN). Yo!"
"Pull yourself together my man! All that matters is which one has the lowest Cost per Nut (CPN). Yo!"
by Logical Empiricist Stoic September 10, 2023
Get the Cost per Nut (CPN) mug.The perception of increased attractiveness due to minimum social distancing and mask-covered faces thus creating amorous opportunities that would not exist under "The Old Normal" conditions. This may be also known as Covid Doable.
"Yikes! How'd you end up having COVID babies with them?"
"He/She was Covid Hot during the quarantine."
"Makes sense."
"He/She was Covid Hot during the quarantine."
"Makes sense."
by Logical Empiricist Stoic November 1, 2023
Get the Covid Hot mug.A social countermovement and awareness campaign against female entitlement and lack accountability which results in unfounded false accusations towards men.
Man sues 50 women for $2.6 million after they called him a bad date in viral FB group, thus beginning the #SheToo Movement
by Logical Empiricist Stoic April 13, 2024
Get the SheToo Movement mug.Covid Level Alert (CLA), aka Chicken Little Alarm, is an overreaction to a potentially high-risk event with low (realistically no) probability of occurrence.
Such responses are typically based on emotions, thus bypassing the human brain’s logical reasoning centers.
Such responses are typically based on emotions, thus bypassing the human brain’s logical reasoning centers.
by Logical Empiricist Stoic September 10, 2023
Get the CLA mug.