Logical Empiricist Stoic's definitions
In some Asian-speaking lands (using this mispronounced version of "Black Obama"), it was believed that this is how Americans addressed Barack Obama.
In part, the confusion stemmed from the similarity of the "L" and "R" sounds within their spoken languages and the fact that the skin-color-obsessed USA focused so much attention on their first "black" president.
In part, the confusion stemmed from the similarity of the "L" and "R" sounds within their spoken languages and the fact that the skin-color-obsessed USA focused so much attention on their first "black" president.
"So his name is not Balack Obama (aka Black Obama). It's Barack Obama!"
"Ah! So what's the diffelence?"
"Ah! So what's the diffelence?"
by Logical Empiricist Stoic September 11, 2023
Get the Balack Obamamug. The perception of increased attractiveness due to minimum social distancing and mask-covered faces thus creating amorous opportunities that would not exist under "The Old Normal" conditions. This may be also known as Covid Hot.
"Yikes! How'd you end up having COVID babies with them?"
"He/She was Covid Doable during the quarantine."
"Makes sense."
"He/She was Covid Doable during the quarantine."
"Makes sense."
by Logical Empiricist Stoic November 1, 2023
Get the Covid Doablemug. by Logical Empiricist Stoic September 22, 2023
Get the DOTmug. CPN (aka Cost Per Nut) is the empirical value that ultimately answers the question, “Which woman is hotter?”
In its simplest form:
CPN = total resources spent (MONEY + TIME + EFFORT) / number of directly induced orgasms (not including fantasized jerk-offs)
MONEY includes meals, gifts, etc. TIME includes the number of dates, phone calls, emails, etc. EFFORT takes into account travel, meeting her friends & family, etc.
Because of the subjective nature of dating and relationships, (ie “I prefer blondes”, “I like big butts”, “I’m a boob man”, etc), CPN condenses to one of the most basic goals of male dating and the relative cost of reaching it.
Note that CPN will vary greatly for the same woman depending on her evaluation of the individual male. While one hears “I don’t do that”, Chads easily bypass her defenses or simply aren’t confronted with such automatic barriers.
CPN is often challenged by the emotional female response “You can’t put a price on love!” This is ostensibly true. However, all too often and late, once-enamored males find themselves on the wanting side of female-biased institutions, such as divorce court, where a judge will tell him, to the penny, how much “love” costs per month.
In practical application, CPN tends to enhance the merit of the Hotness Scale (aka Hot-Crazy Matrix) and helps males focus on their innate logic before being overwhelmed by primal urges and emotions.
In its simplest form:
CPN = total resources spent (MONEY + TIME + EFFORT) / number of directly induced orgasms (not including fantasized jerk-offs)
MONEY includes meals, gifts, etc. TIME includes the number of dates, phone calls, emails, etc. EFFORT takes into account travel, meeting her friends & family, etc.
Because of the subjective nature of dating and relationships, (ie “I prefer blondes”, “I like big butts”, “I’m a boob man”, etc), CPN condenses to one of the most basic goals of male dating and the relative cost of reaching it.
Note that CPN will vary greatly for the same woman depending on her evaluation of the individual male. While one hears “I don’t do that”, Chads easily bypass her defenses or simply aren’t confronted with such automatic barriers.
CPN is often challenged by the emotional female response “You can’t put a price on love!” This is ostensibly true. However, all too often and late, once-enamored males find themselves on the wanting side of female-biased institutions, such as divorce court, where a judge will tell him, to the penny, how much “love” costs per month.
In practical application, CPN tends to enhance the merit of the Hotness Scale (aka Hot-Crazy Matrix) and helps males focus on their innate logic before being overwhelmed by primal urges and emotions.
"Hey Bro! I think they’re both hot & really like me. Which one should I choose?"
"Pull yourself together my man! All that matters is which one has the lowest CPN. Yo!"
"Pull yourself together my man! All that matters is which one has the lowest CPN. Yo!"
by Logical Empiricist Stoic September 3, 2023
Get the CPNmug. The feature of almost songlike whining & kvetching from Covid Babies that accompanies the regular Covid Season.
Covid Carols typically include an unlimited list of non-specific & often conflicting symptoms that can be attributed to any disease or ailment that has ever existed among any of Earth's creatures.
Covid Carols typically include an unlimited list of non-specific & often conflicting symptoms that can be attributed to any disease or ailment that has ever existed among any of Earth's creatures.
"My head hurts. I think I have a fever. I can't breathe. My body aches. Feel like I'm gonna throw up. Wah! Wah! Waaaah!!!"
"I'm coughing. I'm sneezing. I lost my appetite. I'm starving. I can't taste anything. I can't smell anything. Does anybody have a Covid test? I need to stay in from work. Wah! Wah! Waaaah!!!"
"Can somebody drive me to the emergency room? I need an updated jab. Did you get the latest vax? Why aren't you wearing a mask? That's not 6 feet. You're too close! Wah! Wah! Waaaah!!!"
"Hear the Covid Babies with their Covid Carols?"
"Yep! Time to pull out the Covid Box. Covid Season is upon us!"
"Praise Fauchovah!"
"I'm coughing. I'm sneezing. I lost my appetite. I'm starving. I can't taste anything. I can't smell anything. Does anybody have a Covid test? I need to stay in from work. Wah! Wah! Waaaah!!!"
"Can somebody drive me to the emergency room? I need an updated jab. Did you get the latest vax? Why aren't you wearing a mask? That's not 6 feet. You're too close! Wah! Wah! Waaaah!!!"
"Hear the Covid Babies with their Covid Carols?"
"Yep! Time to pull out the Covid Box. Covid Season is upon us!"
"Praise Fauchovah!"
by Logical Empiricist Stoic October 31, 2023
Get the Covid Carolsmug. A more politically correct & socially acceptable way of saying, Nappy Headed Ho.
Possibly a career-saving term.
Possibly a career-saving term.
Don Imus might still have a radio show if he wasn’t dead & had simply said:
"Man, those girls are rough. Dem some NH2s."
"Man, those girls are rough. Dem some NH2s."
by Logical Empiricist Stoic June 27, 2023
Get the NH2mug. by Logical Empiricist Stoic February 18, 2025
Get the Canine Carpacciomug.