Lior Bar-On's definitions

wand rape

Search the person of for metallic objects using a handheld metal detector, particularly in a public place and when the subject does not have any reasonable alternative.

My belt buckle set off their gate, so the security nazis wand raped me in full view of everyone.

by Lior Bar-On January 17, 2004

Ministry of Annoyances

A bureaucratic government department that regulates a dubious service that the public could do without, especially requiring forms that are impossible to fill in or obtain, or when a visit for a trivial affair takes up a whole morning.

My passport expired two days before my flight, and by the time the Ministry of Annoyances had finished issuing a new one, the holiday season was over.

by Lior Bar-On April 23, 2006

designer water

A commercial brand of mineral water, often served or sold under pretentious circumstances or marketing and/or at exorbitant cost.

I went to the cocktail bar with the guys, but as I was drivin' I had to sip designer water all evening.

by Lior Bar-On January 9, 2006

f-14

Grumman F-14 Tomcat, a two-engined fighter-bomber aircraft, formerly flown by the U.S. Navy and now used only by the Iranian Air Force. Probably the sexiest and most beautiful aircraft ever to grace our skies.

An F-14 called the ball and snagged the number 2 wire on the deck as it landed.

by Lior Bar-On August 2, 2007

desert eagle

Any artillery piece of a size suitable for holding and firing with one hand. Originally referred to a gas-operated pistol marketed by Magnum Research and made by Israel Military Industries, the term is now applied by the general gun-ignorant public to any really mean and scary looking pistol.

That frigging Desert Eagle could knock down a 747 from two miles away.

by Lior Bar-On June 18, 2004

Airport Gestapo

The Federal Transport Security Agency, or any similar airport security screening outfit that commits draconian and degrading invasion of privacy and violation of rights of passengers in the course of its duty, usually under full government protection and no right to recourse.

The Airport Gestapo confiscated GI Joe's two inch rifle and wand raped the owner.

by Lior Bar-On May 30, 2004

Glock

1. Bell in German. Therefore a glockenspiel is a bell game.
2. Surname of renowned Austrian industrialist, Gaston Glock.
3. Name of a prominent Austrian plastic and tenifer coated steel manufacturer - Glock GmbH.
4. A modern semiautomatic pistol made by Glock GmbH that combines such desirable features as extremely light weight, phenomenal durability, reliability, firepower and an unsettling ability to inspire crappy African-American hate music.

1. Ich habe eine glock.
2. Glock has just been sued again by some dick who shot off one of his own nuts by accident. Of course, when you do that by pulling the trigger of a loaded gun, it's obviously the manufacturer's fault.
3. I'm taking my GLOCK underwater to do some shark huntin'.

by Lior Bar-On August 16, 2004