Definitions by Klaatu's Nikto
Matador'd
The aftermath of anal penetration where the phallus is of such proportions, tbe rectum looks as it might after being gored by a bull's horn.
Sir Reginald Piers-Gently; And how were Fanny and Verity when you last saw them?Lord Fredistare Buntwick; Well old chap, Fanny has just finished her second year at Oxford, and Verity has been matador'd by several Galician stable boys!
Sir Reginald Piers-Gently; i'm deligbted to hear it!
Sir Reginald Piers-Gently; i'm deligbted to hear it!
Matador'd by Klaatu's Nikto December 1, 2017
Pseudocumentary
Any documentary that;
. Uses logical leaps to connect unrelated events that create an over-arching narrative that, in turn, supports a nebulous conclusion.
Uses panning overhead shots of American suburbia.
Uses vintage footage of UNIVAC computers, prozac capsules, Air Force personnel firing missiles, a smiling blonde woman, the Bikini Atoll tests, Gadaff, Reagan, Saddam Hussein and Tony Blair.
Uses Beethoven's 7th or Philip Glass' Pruit Igoe to usher a sense of techno-fear and existential foreboding.
Tries to incorporate computers, Utopia, Prozac, Psychiatry, Market-driven political policy, suicide bombers and Tony Blair into some overrarching 'scheme'
Appeals to left-leaning, chin-stroking hipsters pseuds fond of using the Courtier's Reply - ' you just don't get it'.
. Uses logical leaps to connect unrelated events that create an over-arching narrative that, in turn, supports a nebulous conclusion.
Uses panning overhead shots of American suburbia.
Uses vintage footage of UNIVAC computers, prozac capsules, Air Force personnel firing missiles, a smiling blonde woman, the Bikini Atoll tests, Gadaff, Reagan, Saddam Hussein and Tony Blair.
Uses Beethoven's 7th or Philip Glass' Pruit Igoe to usher a sense of techno-fear and existential foreboding.
Tries to incorporate computers, Utopia, Prozac, Psychiatry, Market-driven political policy, suicide bombers and Tony Blair into some overrarching 'scheme'
Appeals to left-leaning, chin-stroking hipsters pseuds fond of using the Courtier's Reply - ' you just don't get it'.
Taxi Driver: There's that documentary about how computers caused the financial crash, and it might have some Beethoven and Prozac in it. Maybe Tony Blair grinning like the Satanic bastard we all know he is, ha!
Bus Driver; Oh yeah, and somehow get poor man's Nietzsche Ayn Rand shoehorned in, along with Gadaffi, Brexit and the Smurfs in for good measure. No thanks fella, i have better stuff to watch than a pseudocumentary. He-Man is on Netflix
Bus Driver; Oh yeah, and somehow get poor man's Nietzsche Ayn Rand shoehorned in, along with Gadaffi, Brexit and the Smurfs in for good measure. No thanks fella, i have better stuff to watch than a pseudocumentary. He-Man is on Netflix
Pseudocumentary by Klaatu's Nikto November 29, 2017
Pseudo-intellectual
A) synonym for Hipster
B) one who makes proclamations that to the lay-person may sound edgy, controversial, new, deep or thought-out, but to anyone with more detailed knowledge, will be instantly dismissed as a load of posturing bullshit.
One of their favoured fallacies when challenged on an absurdity is the courtier's reply - 'you just don't understand/aren't clever enough/aren't in the know'.
They lack social graces and wisdom, and are quick to jump on factual errors to make themselves feel better, as they pride intellectual prowess over good manners, kindness and humour which makes them tiresome company.
They do not believe in intellectual democracy for the betterment of others, but aristocracy to belittle others.
They will insist you read books, watch films and listen to music they've heard of but may not have read, seen or heard themselves, and enjoy dropping names of authors, directors, musicians and other artists that are avante-garde, cult or classical, even if they have no real exposure to their work, most likely having read about them in a paper, magazine or website aimed at the pretentious and po-faced. They are also vulnerable to being 'Sokal'd' in their desperation to look learned and superior.
Most tellingly, the pseudo-intellectual is prickly and insecure around those they might learn from, while a well-adjusted, moderately intelligent person is always keen to learn from those with greater insight and reading.
B) one who makes proclamations that to the lay-person may sound edgy, controversial, new, deep or thought-out, but to anyone with more detailed knowledge, will be instantly dismissed as a load of posturing bullshit.
One of their favoured fallacies when challenged on an absurdity is the courtier's reply - 'you just don't understand/aren't clever enough/aren't in the know'.
They lack social graces and wisdom, and are quick to jump on factual errors to make themselves feel better, as they pride intellectual prowess over good manners, kindness and humour which makes them tiresome company.
They do not believe in intellectual democracy for the betterment of others, but aristocracy to belittle others.
They will insist you read books, watch films and listen to music they've heard of but may not have read, seen or heard themselves, and enjoy dropping names of authors, directors, musicians and other artists that are avante-garde, cult or classical, even if they have no real exposure to their work, most likely having read about them in a paper, magazine or website aimed at the pretentious and po-faced. They are also vulnerable to being 'Sokal'd' in their desperation to look learned and superior.
Most tellingly, the pseudo-intellectual is prickly and insecure around those they might learn from, while a well-adjusted, moderately intelligent person is always keen to learn from those with greater insight and reading.
Pseud'; 'but of course, Ingmar Bergman's films are so camp'.
Sycophants; hahahaha!
Somebody who has seen a Bergman film; 'Utter shite! Name me one and describe how it is 'camp', or consider yourself a pseudo-intellectual'.
Pseud'; i don't have to explain my reasoning to you'.
Sycophants; hahahaha!
Somebody who has seen a Bergman film; 'Utter shite! Name me one and describe how it is 'camp', or consider yourself a pseudo-intellectual'.
Pseud'; i don't have to explain my reasoning to you'.
Pseudo-intellectual by Klaatu's Nikto November 29, 2017
Buzzfeed
Like Huffpost, but for demented children with profound cognitive impairment, or quirky girls who think they're feminists but talk about unicorns in baby voices, are vegan, have blue hair and suffer from narcissistic personality disorder.
Dippy girl: Hey, look at this article on Buzzfeed about cats being pumped for Taylor Swift's new album.
Dippy girl's carer: Have you taken your pills today?
Dippy girl's carer: Have you taken your pills today?
Buzzfeed by Klaatu's Nikto November 28, 2017
Cow-people
People of a certain class in the UK who are monstrously obese, dimwitted and rely on public transport. They wear tracksuit bottoms that do not fit them and expose their blubbery gut and backsides, and have ulcerated cankles, as well as gormless bovine expressions.
Their favourite pursuits include watching reality TV while licking gravy from their foil tray dinners off of their doughy forearms, playing violent computer games and screeching at their hyperactive , sugar-intoxicated offspring in public.
They are prone to severe body odours and fungal infestations, orginating from folds of flesh that they find difficult or cannot be bothered to wash.
On occasion, the cow-person may discover a 'feasting' - a morsel of jellified food that has been stored deep in a fold for days- which they ravenously consume, lest it be wrenched from yjem by their benefit assessors.
The only things that match their physical repulsiveness is their idiocy, sense of entitlement and laziness, as they are usually welfare recipients and falsely claiming disability benefits.
Their favourite pursuits include watching reality TV while licking gravy from their foil tray dinners off of their doughy forearms, playing violent computer games and screeching at their hyperactive , sugar-intoxicated offspring in public.
They are prone to severe body odours and fungal infestations, orginating from folds of flesh that they find difficult or cannot be bothered to wash.
On occasion, the cow-person may discover a 'feasting' - a morsel of jellified food that has been stored deep in a fold for days- which they ravenously consume, lest it be wrenched from yjem by their benefit assessors.
The only things that match their physical repulsiveness is their idiocy, sense of entitlement and laziness, as they are usually welfare recipients and falsely claiming disability benefits.
Look at that huge family of cow-people gathering at the bus stop!
Look at those cow-people slurping down buckets of chicken and gravy!
Look at those cow-people, demanding their benefits from the taxpayer!
Look at those cow-people, stinking up the cake aisle!
Look at those Cow-people, comparing fat-shaming to racism, as if they can't help how much cheese and fries they ingest!
Look at those cow-people... we could use them in the next war to frighten Putin!
Look at those cow-people slurping down buckets of chicken and gravy!
Look at those cow-people, demanding their benefits from the taxpayer!
Look at those cow-people, stinking up the cake aisle!
Look at those Cow-people, comparing fat-shaming to racism, as if they can't help how much cheese and fries they ingest!
Look at those cow-people... we could use them in the next war to frighten Putin!
Cow-people by Klaatu's Nikto November 28, 2017