by Killing Kittens June 21, 2004
Motion Picture Assosciation of America. An organization that believes it can universalize standards of morality and appropriateness in the social production of film, claiming, of course to have the best interests of the youth of America in mind. Thus it exists in place of parents, rendering the NC-17 rating useless (due to assosciations with porn) but hypocritically using the R rating as a junkbasket and thus proving that theaters rely on audience members under 17 to see R-rated films.
And it is also important to add that the MPAA is a great moral teacher, proving to everyone that nudity and sexuality are more harmful to young people than depictions of graphic violence. A beating, beheading, disembowelment, immolation, crucifixion, dismemberment? No problem! But catch a brief glimpse of a breast or a patch of pubic hair? Pornography!
Where would America be without the MPAA?
And it is also important to add that the MPAA is a great moral teacher, proving to everyone that nudity and sexuality are more harmful to young people than depictions of graphic violence. A beating, beheading, disembowelment, immolation, crucifixion, dismemberment? No problem! But catch a brief glimpse of a breast or a patch of pubic hair? Pornography!
Where would America be without the MPAA?
Thus the erect male member may become the last taboo of cinema censorship, although why tumescence is considered more of a threat to a nation's well-being than the numerous examples of stomach-churning violence, destruction and misogyny that are allowed on screens remains a mystery. --Allan Hunter, "Book of Movie Classics"
by Killing Kittens May 19, 2004
The last thing a woman wants a man to be, yet, because she does not know herself, hypocritically claims to be looking for.
by Killing Kittens March 31, 2005
A spiritually insane, emotinally retarded, and megalomaniacal primate with an immense inferiority complex. It is ill-suited to survive in its environment, so instead of adapting as other species it changes the environment, for ill of everything including itself. It is a species that will surely go extinct in the next thousand years, a victim of its vaulting own success.
by Killing Kittens May 19, 2004
Every writer is a frustrated actor who recites his lines in the hidden auditorium of his skull.
--Rod Serling
--Rod Serling
by Killing Kittens October 24, 2004
A person with penises for eyes. Very inconvenient, as you can imagine, but perhaps they could be of use in the porn industry.
My friend Kevin once said to me, in a fit of drunken stupidity, "Dude, I wish my eyes were penises!"
Lo and behold, the fates decided to agree with his request and grant it in the most hideous manner possible, for when he awoke the next day, instead of gazing at the ceiling above him, an inflamed phallus emerged from each eyelid.
He soon found himself standing on street corners, destitude and holding up a cardboard sign that read "Please be my friend" while civilians passed by and laughed, for he couldn't hide his erections, and when limp, his new penis-eyes looked hideous as ever. Kevin sat down and began to weep, though it was naught but urine trickling down his cheeks.
Truly, a lesson is to be learned from all this: Be careful what you wish for!
Lo and behold, the fates decided to agree with his request and grant it in the most hideous manner possible, for when he awoke the next day, instead of gazing at the ceiling above him, an inflamed phallus emerged from each eyelid.
He soon found himself standing on street corners, destitude and holding up a cardboard sign that read "Please be my friend" while civilians passed by and laughed, for he couldn't hide his erections, and when limp, his new penis-eyes looked hideous as ever. Kevin sat down and began to weep, though it was naught but urine trickling down his cheeks.
Truly, a lesson is to be learned from all this: Be careful what you wish for!
by Killing Kittens October 20, 2004
A vessel made of earnest ceramic, easy to break. you can glue it back together innumerable times, but each time it's weaker than before.
by Killing Kittens March 28, 2005