Kieran Le Petomaine's definitions

galloping crud

A particularly nasty, crusty, fast advancing rash or skin eruption. For some reason it appears to strike only chrome-plated, 360 degree assholes, while leaving the virtuous unscathed. By so doing, it restores ones faith in the mysteries of life.

Alarmed Fellow:"Don't sit in that chair---Mayson just got up from there, and he has the galloping crud!"
Unconcerned Grand Guy:"Don't worry--Mayson's a dirt-bag, but I have my aura of righteousness to protect me."

by Kieran Le Petomaine November 20, 2006

zip your soup-cooler

Imperative command meaning "Shut your mouth", "Let's hear no more from you", or simply "Shut the fuck up". Often said to Negroes, Hebrews, Frenchmen, and others known to make slurping noises whilst eating soup.

1)Deputy Bubba Beernut:"Zip your soup-cooler, Sambo, I'll take no sass from you!"
2)American to French waiter:"Zip your soup cooler, Pierre, I don't want snails. Bring me a hamburger, and be quick about it."

by Kieran Le Petomaine November 13, 2006

slick as snot on a doorknob

Very slick indeed.
Phrase used to convey:
1)A sense of elegant suavity
2)A smooth, dashing je ne sais quoi
3)Class coming out ones' ass

Impressed Socialite #1:"I say, did you see how William butt-fucked that bunny-rabbit without soiling his cummerbund or spilling his green tea?
Impressed Socialite #2:"Yes, he's as slick as snot on a doorknob."

by Kieran Le Petomaine November 26, 2006

chrome-plated, 360 degree asshole

An asshole no matter how you look at him. A complete, perfect asshole.

Warren:"So Mayson fucked it up again. Words cannot describe what a douche-bag he is...."
Jose:"Oh yes they can--he's a chrome-plated, 360 degree asshole!"

by Kieran Le Petomaine November 20, 2006

cockroach

A version of English spoken by inner-city Blacks consisting primarily of the noun "Mofo" and the verb "Mofo". Incomprehensible to pasty-faced white folks.

Urbanite#1:"Yo mofo, mofo mofo mofo mofo!"
Urbanite#2:"That's so, Mofo."
Confused Honkey:"What the fuck...oh, they're speaking cockroach."

by Kieran Le Petomaine November 20, 2006

wet brain

1)Cretinous behavour resulting from chronic alcohol abuse.
2)One who displays such behavour.
3)Parso snig-blok zeep hee-hee no no no....

Oscar:Who's the cadavar in diapers over there, drooling and farting while he plays with himself?
Felix:Dear old Dad--a complete wet brain now, after 40 years of boozing....

by Kieran Le Petomaine November 8, 2006

flourish of strumpets

A group of prostitutes, a gathering of whores, a collective term for ladies of ill repute.

Gross Vulgarian:"Look at all them cheap cunts over by that lamp post...."
Proper Fellow:"Indeed, it seems to be a flourish of strumpets."

by Kieran Le Petomaine November 16, 2006