The queef oven, although similar in some ways to the world renowned Gordon Ramsay-approved dutch oven, actually is much more...how do you say en francais? Gaysty! And really untasty! In fact, consider this your fair warning NOT to eat anything cooked in the queef oven, or the oven itself.
Fat bitch Proudtrucky Keirsten, from Pensultucky, FL, sure does like to put her daughter's poop into her queef oven. She calls that mesquite.
by Jaunty Diggles June 07, 2021
Kicking Mitchie is when everyone facing eviction or bankruptcy from COVID 2020-related lack of governmental financial support and relief, courtesy of Mitch "Bitch" McConnell's-led retarded assfuckery of a Republican Senate, shows up their local Republican congressperson's house on Christmas Day to take turns kicking him or her in the face. And the genitals. And then the face again. Then, its a first-come-first-serve free-for-all looting festival where the angry newly-impoverished American citizens steal everything not locked down from the property while making sure to leave as many piles of flaming feces in their wake. It is assumed that so much badly-needed catharsis will be felt during Kitching Mitchie 2020 that it will be cemented as a yule-time tradition for years to come.
If you thought Juneteenth was cool, you're gonna love Kicking Mitchie. Better show up early while the gettin's good.
by Jaunty Diggles December 24, 2020
Kicking Mitchie is when everyone facing eviction or bankruptcy from COVID 2020-related lack of governmental financial support and relief, courtesy of Mitch "Bitch" McConnell's-led retarded assfuckery of a Republican Senate, shows up their local Republican congressperson's house on Christmas Day to take turns kicking him or her in the face. And the genitals. And then the face again. Then, its a first-come-first-serve free-for-all looting festival where the angry newly-impoverished American citizens steal everything not locked down from the property while making sure to leave as many piles of flaming feces in their wake. It is assumed that so much badly-needed catharsis will be felt during Kitching Mitchie 2020 that it will be cemented as a yule-time tradition for years to come.
If you thought Juneteenth was cool, you're gonna love Kicking Mitchie. Better show up early while the gettin's good.
by Jaunty Diggles December 25, 2020
There comes a point in the life of a superstar where he's pleasured so much deliciousness that he can no longer continue. But his ego lives on. And so to continue to flaunt his profound man-prowess while simultaneously signaling to women that he's off the fucktrain but still of esteem, value and wealth, the tour de force will surgically have his testicles removed and then have 7 lucky gold doubloons sewn up inside instead, thus turning his scrotum into a JINGLEBAG.
Man, I heard Brad Pitt scored so much tang that he just didn't care about fucking anymore and went jinglebag.
by Jaunty Diggles August 25, 2019
Jizzy Dizzy Kitty is all the rage with today’s TikTokkin’ youth, and also Ben Affleck. In order to play Jizzy Dizzy Kitty, you need:
1) A cat
2) A bed
3) A ceiling fan directly above the bed
4) The remote control for the ceiling fan
5) 12 feet of rope (a lighter gauge)
6) A step stool or 3-step ladder (optional)
7) A penis
8) A jar of Nutella
9) A cell phone with the TikTok app installed
Use the step stool or just stand on the bed and carefully tie the cat to the ceiling fan. Then, take your pants off and get in bed with the Nutella, the cell phone and the remote control to the ceiling fan. Carefully stuff your nutsack into the jar off Nutella and summon Satan or Beefassholebub or the demon of your choice. Then, turn on the ceiling fan. YES!!! Watch that kitty spin, dude! Let the cat’s cries of pleasure(?) begin to stir your pleasure in the genitals, and when erect, bear down on the clown (or whatever you call your dick). If you have trouble getting erect, though, keep twisting the Nutella jar clockwise and redouble your efforts in summoning the forces of darkness until the fires of Hell start your loins a’ burning. The goal of Jizzy Dizzy Kitty is, and this may be quite obvious by now, to ferociously ejaculate all over the cat while it swings gaily from the ceiling fan. Keep on crankin’ down with one hand, and use the other to scrapple together a TikTok video of yourself alive with pleasure. Fuck dance challenges.
1) A cat
2) A bed
3) A ceiling fan directly above the bed
4) The remote control for the ceiling fan
5) 12 feet of rope (a lighter gauge)
6) A step stool or 3-step ladder (optional)
7) A penis
8) A jar of Nutella
9) A cell phone with the TikTok app installed
Use the step stool or just stand on the bed and carefully tie the cat to the ceiling fan. Then, take your pants off and get in bed with the Nutella, the cell phone and the remote control to the ceiling fan. Carefully stuff your nutsack into the jar off Nutella and summon Satan or Beefassholebub or the demon of your choice. Then, turn on the ceiling fan. YES!!! Watch that kitty spin, dude! Let the cat’s cries of pleasure(?) begin to stir your pleasure in the genitals, and when erect, bear down on the clown (or whatever you call your dick). If you have trouble getting erect, though, keep twisting the Nutella jar clockwise and redouble your efforts in summoning the forces of darkness until the fires of Hell start your loins a’ burning. The goal of Jizzy Dizzy Kitty is, and this may be quite obvious by now, to ferociously ejaculate all over the cat while it swings gaily from the ceiling fan. Keep on crankin’ down with one hand, and use the other to scrapple together a TikTok video of yourself alive with pleasure. Fuck dance challenges.
by Jaunty Diggles December 24, 2020
Skittle Skootchin' is when you stuff a bunch of crayons up your ass and then draw pictures of yourself jacking off with your ass crayons, incessantly, like OCD-style.
Mom: I feel so ashamed having caught you Skittle Skootchin' again.
Son: Then please stop making me go to your lame ass church.
Son: Then please stop making me go to your lame ass church.
by Jaunty Diggles October 28, 2021
When you power up with a 2-hour Tom Brady-style workout and get yourself good and sweaty AND THEN stick your middle finger right the fuck into your swampy ass crack, popping the tip into the anus. The finger is then withdrawn and inhaled with all the pride of the Patriots 6 SuperBowl championships.
by Jaunty Diggles August 25, 2019