Jared Ellis 's definitions

Protein shake

The Sexual process of masturbating a male and catching the semen in your mouth.

Hooker: I like to keep myself healthy by enjoying a protein shake right after a heavy workout session.

by Jared Ellis March 9, 2008

Elephant man

The act of removing ones penis from its panty containment and pulling out the pockets of your trousers making the genitalia region resemble a elephant.

Drunk: Hey ladies, wanna say hello to the elephant man, he wont bite.

Chick: Umm sure?

(produces elephant man)

Chick: My god, its huge. Does it like peanuts?

by Jared Ellis March 9, 2008

post fatal depression

The feeling at the pit of your stomache that you acheive after watching a fatality, whether it be on a gore internet site or a violent film. One often feels guilty and suffers from post fatal depression. The emotion can be overcome by watching porn or something similiarly amusing.

1: Ive been watching suicide videos all day and i think im suffering from past fatal depression.

2: My cat just got run over, it was funny watching its organs explode on the front of the SUV but i think my little sis is suffering from Post fatal depression.

by Jared Ellis March 9, 2008

grand sham

A particular instance of deceit or trickery with which such grandeur is used.

Party go-er 1: Hey guys check out this huge dealing of grass i just scored.

Party go-er 2: Dude you just got a grand sham that aint nothing but cooking herbs.

Party go-er 1: For christ sake, i teared my anus skin hunting down this shit.

by Jared Ellis February 26, 2008

a la cushy

An interjection of pleasure at something thats easy to do with great reward, or an easy task.

Crack addict: Where do you reckon i should go out theiving for my daily bread?

Dealer: I find stealing old womens handbags is always a la cushy.

by Jared Ellis January 18, 2008

Glory stealer

Someone who takes credit for a source of fame or honour they did not create, also may refer to someone who jumps into a situation at the last moment and claims precedence.

Urban dictionary author 1: Hey dude check out this new word ive created, ive spent goddamn weeks on it.

Urban dictionary author 2: Oh yeh? lets have a look.....

Urban dictionary author 1: Hey what are you doing?

Urban dictionary author 2: Finders keepers fucker.

Urban dictionary author 1: Goddamn glory stealer.

President Roosevelt: Id like to thank the armed forces and all those at home in the USA for single handedly winning the second world war.

Churchill: Fucking glorystealer.

by Jared Ellis January 18, 2008

thumbing in a softie

The term given to pushing a flaccid penis into the vagina.

Drunk dude: Im too pissed, its never gonna work
Female: Cmon work with it otherwise ill fuck your friends
Drunk dude: Well alright ill try thumbing in a softie.

by Jared Ellis January 18, 2008