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Jamie Douglas's definitions

friday @ 5

A time of week, originating from mathematicians in the northern town of Sheffield, when all pens must be dropped, all PC's powered down and the weekend must kick in.

friday @ 5 must be accompanied by beer drinking, music playing, bar snack munching and general chat about anything but work.

Acceptable topics of conversation include movies, art, sport, music, politics, travel, family, science, literature, food & drink, etc..
It's friday @ 5, what a thrill! Beer and chat, hooray!
by Jamie Douglas February 24, 2007
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chocolate frog

"Have you seen snakes on a plane? It stars Hollywoods hardest working chocolate frog!"
by Jamie Douglas September 9, 2006
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tossweasel

Someone who acts like a jerk. The kind of person who would wipe his spaff-stained hands on your muffin while you go for a jimmy.
Someone who dinged your car and didn't leave a note - tossweasel

Someone who gives your kids loads of sugary fizzy drinks before bedtime - tossweasel

Someone who aspires to act like Dick Cheney - tossweasel
by Jamie Douglas March 10, 2007
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elephant golf

Golfing game. When a man fails to drive the ladies tee-box it is customary to force him to turn his trouser/shorts pockets inside out, unzip his fly, and walk the length of the hole with his johnson out, thus making an elephants image around his crotch.

Cruel variations of this game include consuming a quiagh (a small silver tureen used to formally serve whiskey at gatherings) of whiskey before every new hole when playing in a fourball. The first 3 players (determined by the lowest score at the previous hole) can sip as much or as little as they like, but the fourth player must finish what is left. This normally results in at least one player getting totally mashed and spaffing their drives only a handful of yards.
"Ooops, failed to make the ladies tee again, you know what that means - elephant golf!"

"Let's hit the golf course with a bottle of dram for some elephant golf"

"OK, rules for todays golf competition. No ladies on the course, and elephant golf to be played at all times."
by Jamie Douglas September 8, 2006
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mighty weapon

So proud was Jim of his mighty weapon that he got it out at every opportunity
by Jamie Douglas January 21, 2007
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sportsgasm

A period of time when the sheer volume and quality of live sport induces a feeling not dissimilar to an orgasm in you.

It usually involves a lot of beer.
OMG - the Premiership and Championship football is reaching it's climax, there's Champions League footie, the Hong Kong Sevens rugby is on, we're in the middle of the cricket world cup, we're close to the world championship snooker, the Masters golf at Augusta is next weekend with F1 motor racing and the tennis summer season is about to kick in - it's a sportsgasm!

A weekend with more than 3 different types of live sport to watch can be called a sportsgasm.
by Jamie Douglas April 8, 2007
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saturday night

The sixth, seventh or first night of the week, depending on your religion.

Saturday night is the most important invention in human history. Saturday night is the reason most conflicts have been resolved and is responsible for some of mankinds most excellent discoveries.

Acceptable ways to spend Saturday night include going out to the cinema, drinking beer, watching the footy highlights with your mates, clubbing, eating kebab, beating the wife and/or kids, and spending a dirty night out. Unacceptable ways to spend a Saturday night include going to bed early and being ill.

Without Saturday night it is conceivable that the couple of protein strands that joined in the primodial goo to form Earths first ever life form would never have done so, and all life as we know it would not exist.

Several other good facts about Saturday night include that it's impossible to fail to pull a slapper, it's the only night apart from Wednesday that it's legal to dine in an Indian restaurant, it's my favourite night of the week and it follows Friday night.
"It's Saturday Night! Let's get ready to rumble!"

Jim: "What shall we do?"
Pete: "Well it is Saturday night. Lets drink beer, get a kebab and go home to beat the wife and kids."

"I'm so happy it's saturday night, it's my favourite night of the week."

George: "Hey Saddam, it's Saturday night. What do you say we forget all this silly sentenced to death nonsense and go to the cinema?"
Saddam: "Infidel."
by Jamie Douglas November 20, 2006
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