Jamie Douglas's definitions
Without doubt, the finest footballer taller than eight feet in the universe. With an uncanny knack for unravelling his telescopic legs Peter Crouch was able to dominate world football for a generation, winning the FA Cup in 2006, the English League in 2008, the world cup in 2010 and becoming president of the Galaxy a short time later. Peter Crouch is a hero of our time.
by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006
Get the Peter Crouchmug. Jack: "Hey Bill, have you seen the new girl Sharon?"
Bill: "Yeah Jack, but I hear she's got real supermarket legs!"
Bill: "Yeah Jack, but I hear she's got real supermarket legs!"
by Jamie Douglas September 30, 2006
Get the supermarket legsmug. n. Homosexual. In reference to ........... the fact the person in question is ......... bent, and in the case of men ........ take it up the ....... (can you guess what it is yet) ......... (have a go) .......... (that's right) ....... bum!
John: "Turns out Sam takes it up the back passage."
Wayne: "Yeah, I always thought he was a bendy bum."
Wayne: "Yeah, I always thought he was a bendy bum."
by Jamie Douglas September 11, 2006
Get the bendy bummug. A full frontal lobotomy is a form of psychosurgery. It consists of cutting the connections to and from, or simply destroying, the prefrontal cortex. This brain region has been implicated in planning complex cognitive behaviours, personality expression and moderating correct social behavior.
These procedures often result in major personality changes. Lobotomies have been used in the past to treat a wide range of mental illnesses including schizophrenia, clinical depression, and various anxiety disorders.
Celebrities who have had this procedure include Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo Nest, golfer Jack Nicklaus, Prince William and President George W Bush.
The distinguishing mark of someone who has had a full frontal lobotomy is a nice pair of scars around the temples. The survival rate of the operation was vastly increased after the discovery of the lead pipe, which could be used to knock patients unconscious before the operation and meant surgery was no longer performed on people who were awake.
The full frontal lobotomy has long been criticized by the medical profession, as many are repulsed at the idea of destroying healthy tissue. The procedure while seemingly barbaric has been found particularly effective in controlling politicians.
Tesco began offering full frontal lobotomies with a four pack of tinned spaghetti in 1999.
These procedures often result in major personality changes. Lobotomies have been used in the past to treat a wide range of mental illnesses including schizophrenia, clinical depression, and various anxiety disorders.
Celebrities who have had this procedure include Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo Nest, golfer Jack Nicklaus, Prince William and President George W Bush.
The distinguishing mark of someone who has had a full frontal lobotomy is a nice pair of scars around the temples. The survival rate of the operation was vastly increased after the discovery of the lead pipe, which could be used to knock patients unconscious before the operation and meant surgery was no longer performed on people who were awake.
The full frontal lobotomy has long been criticized by the medical profession, as many are repulsed at the idea of destroying healthy tissue. The procedure while seemingly barbaric has been found particularly effective in controlling politicians.
Tesco began offering full frontal lobotomies with a four pack of tinned spaghetti in 1999.
"Let's go to the supermarket for some pasta and a full frontal lobotomy."
Patient: "Doctor I received this injury while drinking last night."
Doctor: "That seems to be an unidentified drinking injury. The only known cure is a full frontal lobotomy."
Jimmy's Mum: "Jimmy, you've hardly said a word since your lobotomy."
Jimmy: "Mhhwuahhg."
Patient: "Doctor I received this injury while drinking last night."
Doctor: "That seems to be an unidentified drinking injury. The only known cure is a full frontal lobotomy."
Jimmy's Mum: "Jimmy, you've hardly said a word since your lobotomy."
Jimmy: "Mhhwuahhg."
by Jamie Douglas November 23, 2006
Get the full frontal lobotomymug. The second in command on a ship (I know).
The person most likely to stab the captain in the back, which is ironic as he should be his closest confidant.
The person most likely to stab the captain in the back, which is ironic as he should be his closest confidant.
Captain Barbosa was second in command as first mate of the Black Pearl before stabbing his captain Jack Sparrow in the back and taking the ship for his own.
by Jamie Douglas December 6, 2006
Get the first matemug. Before now.
Several things have happened previously, including the second world war and unidentified drinking injuries.
No-one can prevent things that happened previously.
Several things have happened previously, including the second world war and unidentified drinking injuries.
No-one can prevent things that happened previously.
"Children should learn about things that happened previously."
"I previously had a job."
"Previously to you, I had another wife."
"I previously had a job."
"Previously to you, I had another wife."
by Jamie Douglas November 20, 2006
Get the previouslymug. When your whole world caves in on top of you (metaphorically or physically), you can be described as being crushed.
You can be crushed by large weights, but the most painful type of 'crushing' for a man is when he is smitten with a young lady over a long period of time (a co-worker or flatmate for example), only to be rejected when he attempts to initate a relationship. Normally a man crushed in such a way will be inconsolable for a few weeks, and will probably never recover. The only way for a man to avoid being crushed in such a way is to avoid ever getting emotionally close to a woman, and as such lead a lonely but un-crushable existance.
Women, being the apostles of Satan, are not crushable in this way. But they are crushable physically.
You can be crushed by large weights, but the most painful type of 'crushing' for a man is when he is smitten with a young lady over a long period of time (a co-worker or flatmate for example), only to be rejected when he attempts to initate a relationship. Normally a man crushed in such a way will be inconsolable for a few weeks, and will probably never recover. The only way for a man to avoid being crushed in such a way is to avoid ever getting emotionally close to a woman, and as such lead a lonely but un-crushable existance.
Women, being the apostles of Satan, are not crushable in this way. But they are crushable physically.
by Jamie Douglas September 3, 2006
Get the crushedmug.