Jamie Douglas's definitions
When your whole world caves in on top of you (metaphorically or physically), you can be described as being crushed.
You can be crushed by large weights, but the most painful type of 'crushing' for a man is when he is smitten with a young lady over a long period of time (a co-worker or flatmate for example), only to be rejected when he attempts to initate a relationship. Normally a man crushed in such a way will be inconsolable for a few weeks, and will probably never recover. The only way for a man to avoid being crushed in such a way is to avoid ever getting emotionally close to a woman, and as such lead a lonely but un-crushable existance.
Women, being the apostles of Satan, are not crushable in this way. But they are crushable physically.
You can be crushed by large weights, but the most painful type of 'crushing' for a man is when he is smitten with a young lady over a long period of time (a co-worker or flatmate for example), only to be rejected when he attempts to initate a relationship. Normally a man crushed in such a way will be inconsolable for a few weeks, and will probably never recover. The only way for a man to avoid being crushed in such a way is to avoid ever getting emotionally close to a woman, and as such lead a lonely but un-crushable existance.
Women, being the apostles of Satan, are not crushable in this way. But they are crushable physically.
by Jamie Douglas September 3, 2006
Get the crushed mug.1. An occurance of high hilarity. This may be a phrase, action, put down or accident.
2. A precious stone carved into an amusing shape, like a phallus.
2. A precious stone carved into an amusing shape, like a phallus.
Richie: "Chris you douchebag - I'd try and make fun of you only I don't want to compete with nature!"
Tom: "Ha! That's a comic gem!"
"Look at this funny looking diamond in the shape of a plump rump - it's a comic gem!"
Tom: "Ha! That's a comic gem!"
"Look at this funny looking diamond in the shape of a plump rump - it's a comic gem!"
by Jamie Douglas November 23, 2006
Get the comic gem mug.by Jamie Douglas December 19, 2006
Get the barm mug.Contrary to the actual words used, a cry baby neither cries nor is an infant, but is a fully grown adult who whines too much and should know better.
A cry baby will normally complain about the most petty things, like there being no packets of brown sugar on their hotel room tea tray, the fact the train is four minutes late, and being dumped by their significant other.
The only acceptable way to deal with a cry baby is to pretend to physically cry when they start complaining, by rubbing ones eyes and quivering ones bottom lip in a totally OTT manner, followed by the put-down "don't cry about it".
A cry baby will normally complain about the most petty things, like there being no packets of brown sugar on their hotel room tea tray, the fact the train is four minutes late, and being dumped by their significant other.
The only acceptable way to deal with a cry baby is to pretend to physically cry when they start complaining, by rubbing ones eyes and quivering ones bottom lip in a totally OTT manner, followed by the put-down "don't cry about it".
Tubs: "Can you believe it, there's no haddock left down the chippy!"
Edward: "Boo-hoo, don't cry about it, cry baby!"
Edward: "Boo-hoo, don't cry about it, cry baby!"
by Jamie Douglas September 6, 2006
Get the cry baby mug.Really really really sweaty. Imagine a chubby fellow dining out at his local pastry shop - he stands, salivating, over the counter wondering which fatty treat to shove down his gullet, and then indecision strikes and he sweats over what to order. That's how sweaty you are if you're sweating like a fat man in a cake shop.
Incidently, if you are a fat person and want a way to avoid such problems as choosing which cake, my advice is to simply buy everything. Problem solved
Incidently, if you are a fat person and want a way to avoid such problems as choosing which cake, my advice is to simply buy everything. Problem solved
Kirsty: 'How was your squash game?'
Jim: 'Great, but now I'm sweating like a fat man in a cake shop.'
Jim: 'Great, but now I'm sweating like a fat man in a cake shop.'
by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006
Get the sweating like a fat man in a cake shop mug.In the United Kingdom, North of Birmingham. It's where the greatest people on Earth live.
Great northern people include Geoffrey Boycott, Sean Bean.
Great northern cities include Sheffield, Leeds, Sunderland, Manchester and Liverpool.
Great inventions in the north include Trains, TV's, Banapkins and Pie.
It is a well established fact that the north finished on the winning side of every war ever fought, including the alamo and Pearl Harbour.
The tell tales signs that you're in the north are gravy, bitter, violence, streets paved with gold and battered housewives.
Great northern people include Geoffrey Boycott, Sean Bean.
Great northern cities include Sheffield, Leeds, Sunderland, Manchester and Liverpool.
Great inventions in the north include Trains, TV's, Banapkins and Pie.
It is a well established fact that the north finished on the winning side of every war ever fought, including the alamo and Pearl Harbour.
The tell tales signs that you're in the north are gravy, bitter, violence, streets paved with gold and battered housewives.
Ooh Daddy, please can we move up to Sunderland, so at least my kids have a chance of being Northern!
by Jamie Douglas January 30, 2007
Get the northern mug.Without doubt, the finest footballer taller than eight feet in the universe. With an uncanny knack for unravelling his telescopic legs Peter Crouch was able to dominate world football for a generation, winning the FA Cup in 2006, the English League in 2008, the world cup in 2010 and becoming president of the Galaxy a short time later. Peter Crouch is a hero of our time.
by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006
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