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Jamie Douglas's definitions

barm

Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! You kidda, gimme that barm!
by Jamie Douglas December 19, 2006
mugGet the barmmug.
Really really really sweaty. Imagine a chubby fellow dining out at his local pastry shop - he stands, salivating, over the counter wondering which fatty treat to shove down his gullet, and then indecision strikes and he sweats over what to order. That's how sweaty you are if you're sweating like a fat man in a cake shop.

Incidently, if you are a fat person and want a way to avoid such problems as choosing which cake, my advice is to simply buy everything. Problem solved
Kirsty: 'How was your squash game?'
Jim: 'Great, but now I'm sweating like a fat man in a cake shop.'
by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006
mugGet the sweating like a fat man in a cake shopmug.

Wisden

The cricketing bible.

Wisden is something useful to keep by your shitter for those long visits.
Quick, let's all run down the shop and get this years Wisden!

I'm off to the can for a nice long dump, let me grab my Wisden!
by Jamie Douglas December 7, 2006
mugGet the Wisdenmug.

shagged out

1) To be exhausted from a hard days work.
2) Unable to get wood due to excessive knobbing.
3) A gay phrase used by douchebags to try and make them believe they're having more sex than you.
Ben: "Ooooh yeah, after yesterdays exploits, I'm shagged out!"
Kevin: "What, those men tire you?"
by Jamie Douglas September 30, 2006
mugGet the shagged outmug.

margarine legs

n. Slapper

"Cheap and easily spread."
Scott: "Hey Phil, have you seen the new girl Tracy?"
Phil: "Yeah Scott, but I hear she's got real margarine legs!"
by Jamie Douglas September 30, 2006
mugGet the margarine legsmug.

full frontal lobotomy

A full frontal lobotomy is a form of psychosurgery. It consists of cutting the connections to and from, or simply destroying, the prefrontal cortex. This brain region has been implicated in planning complex cognitive behaviours, personality expression and moderating correct social behavior.

These procedures often result in major personality changes. Lobotomies have been used in the past to treat a wide range of mental illnesses including schizophrenia, clinical depression, and various anxiety disorders.

Celebrities who have had this procedure include Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo Nest, golfer Jack Nicklaus, Prince William and President George W Bush.

The distinguishing mark of someone who has had a full frontal lobotomy is a nice pair of scars around the temples. The survival rate of the operation was vastly increased after the discovery of the lead pipe, which could be used to knock patients unconscious before the operation and meant surgery was no longer performed on people who were awake.

The full frontal lobotomy has long been criticized by the medical profession, as many are repulsed at the idea of destroying healthy tissue. The procedure while seemingly barbaric has been found particularly effective in controlling politicians.

Tesco began offering full frontal lobotomies with a four pack of tinned spaghetti in 1999.
"Let's go to the supermarket for some pasta and a full frontal lobotomy."

Patient: "Doctor I received this injury while drinking last night."
Doctor: "That seems to be an unidentified drinking injury. The only known cure is a full frontal lobotomy."

Jimmy's Mum: "Jimmy, you've hardly said a word since your lobotomy."
Jimmy: "Mhhwuahhg."
by Jamie Douglas November 23, 2006
mugGet the full frontal lobotomymug.

po faced

Someone who is priggish, narrow-minded, disapproving or humourless.
Margret Thatcher, your old headmaster, traffic wardens, nightclub doormen and the Pope are all po faced
by Jamie Douglas December 6, 2006
mugGet the po facedmug.

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