Someone who acts like a jerk. The kind of person who would wipe his spaff-stained hands on your muffin while you go for a jimmy.
Someone who dinged your car and didn't leave a note - tossweasel
Someone who gives your kids loads of sugary fizzy drinks before bedtime - tossweasel
Someone who aspires to act like Dick Cheney - tossweasel
Someone who gives your kids loads of sugary fizzy drinks before bedtime - tossweasel
Someone who aspires to act like Dick Cheney - tossweasel
by Jamie Douglas March 10, 2007
Get the tossweaselmug. Without doubt, the finest footballer taller than eight feet in the universe. With an uncanny knack for unravelling his telescopic legs Peter Crouch was able to dominate world football for a generation, winning the FA Cup in 2006, the English League in 2008, the world cup in 2010 and becoming president of the Galaxy a short time later. Peter Crouch is a hero of our time.
by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006
Get the Peter Crouchmug. Beer farts are the product of drinking too much beer, especially but not exclusively bitter.
They are incredibly smelly and frequent, and make your bum itch.
Beer farts are the worst thing to develop on a date, unless you feel comfortable blaming noxious odours on your partner.
They are incredibly smelly and frequent, and make your bum itch.
Beer farts are the worst thing to develop on a date, unless you feel comfortable blaming noxious odours on your partner.
John: "Bloody hell Jim, after those bitters last night I've been farting all morning!"
Jim: "Me too - the beer farts are coming thick and fast!"
What's that smell? Beer farts.
Man: "It's so good of you to agree to go out with me."
{Cue uncontrollable beer farts}
Woman: "Was that you?"
Man: "No you smelly ogre, it was you!"
Jim: "Me too - the beer farts are coming thick and fast!"
What's that smell? Beer farts.
Man: "It's so good of you to agree to go out with me."
{Cue uncontrollable beer farts}
Woman: "Was that you?"
Man: "No you smelly ogre, it was you!"
by Jamie Douglas January 20, 2007
Get the beer fartsmug. A: 'How's the quiche?'
B: 'That's mighty fine quiche'
Tom had had himself such a mighty fine bit of pie he eagerly awaited second helpings.
B: 'That's mighty fine quiche'
Tom had had himself such a mighty fine bit of pie he eagerly awaited second helpings.
by Jamie Douglas November 16, 2006
Get the mighty finemug. Really really really sweaty. Imagine a chubby fellow dining out at his local pastry shop - he stands, salivating, over the counter wondering which fatty treat to shove down his gullet, and then indecision strikes and he sweats over what to order. That's how sweaty you are if you're sweating like a fat man in a cake shop.
Incidently, if you are a fat person and want a way to avoid such problems as choosing which cake, my advice is to simply buy everything. Problem solved
Incidently, if you are a fat person and want a way to avoid such problems as choosing which cake, my advice is to simply buy everything. Problem solved
Kirsty: 'How was your squash game?'
Jim: 'Great, but now I'm sweating like a fat man in a cake shop.'
Jim: 'Great, but now I'm sweating like a fat man in a cake shop.'
by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006
Get the sweating like a fat man in a cake shopmug. Before now.
Several things have happened previously, including the second world war and unidentified drinking injuries.
No-one can prevent things that happened previously.
Several things have happened previously, including the second world war and unidentified drinking injuries.
No-one can prevent things that happened previously.
"Children should learn about things that happened previously."
"I previously had a job."
"Previously to you, I had another wife."
"I previously had a job."
"Previously to you, I had another wife."
by Jamie Douglas November 20, 2006
Get the previouslymug. When your whole world caves in on top of you (metaphorically or physically), you can be described as being crushed.
You can be crushed by large weights, but the most painful type of 'crushing' for a man is when he is smitten with a young lady over a long period of time (a co-worker or flatmate for example), only to be rejected when he attempts to initate a relationship. Normally a man crushed in such a way will be inconsolable for a few weeks, and will probably never recover. The only way for a man to avoid being crushed in such a way is to avoid ever getting emotionally close to a woman, and as such lead a lonely but un-crushable existance.
Women, being the apostles of Satan, are not crushable in this way. But they are crushable physically.
You can be crushed by large weights, but the most painful type of 'crushing' for a man is when he is smitten with a young lady over a long period of time (a co-worker or flatmate for example), only to be rejected when he attempts to initate a relationship. Normally a man crushed in such a way will be inconsolable for a few weeks, and will probably never recover. The only way for a man to avoid being crushed in such a way is to avoid ever getting emotionally close to a woman, and as such lead a lonely but un-crushable existance.
Women, being the apostles of Satan, are not crushable in this way. But they are crushable physically.
by Jamie Douglas September 03, 2006
Get the crushedmug.