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Jamie Douglas's definitions

cry baby

Contrary to the actual words used, a cry baby neither cries nor is an infant, but is a fully grown adult who whines too much and should know better.

A cry baby will normally complain about the most petty things, like there being no packets of brown sugar on their hotel room tea tray, the fact the train is four minutes late, and being dumped by their significant other.

The only acceptable way to deal with a cry baby is to pretend to physically cry when they start complaining, by rubbing ones eyes and quivering ones bottom lip in a totally OTT manner, followed by the put-down "don't cry about it".
Tubs: "Can you believe it, there's no haddock left down the chippy!"
Edward: "Boo-hoo, don't cry about it, cry baby!"
by Jamie Douglas September 6, 2006
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Peter Crouch

Without doubt, the finest footballer taller than eight feet in the universe. With an uncanny knack for unravelling his telescopic legs Peter Crouch was able to dominate world football for a generation, winning the FA Cup in 2006, the English League in 2008, the world cup in 2010 and becoming president of the Galaxy a short time later. Peter Crouch is a hero of our time.
Let's gan down t'kop and cheer Peter Crouch
by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006
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beer farts

Beer farts are the product of drinking too much beer, especially but not exclusively bitter.

They are incredibly smelly and frequent, and make your bum itch.

Beer farts are the worst thing to develop on a date, unless you feel comfortable blaming noxious odours on your partner.
John: "Bloody hell Jim, after those bitters last night I've been farting all morning!"
Jim: "Me too - the beer farts are coming thick and fast!"

What's that smell? Beer farts.

Man: "It's so good of you to agree to go out with me."
{Cue uncontrollable beer farts}
Woman: "Was that you?"
Man: "No you smelly ogre, it was you!"
by Jamie Douglas January 20, 2007
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mighty fine

adj. A good way to describe quiche.

It is also good to describe other pleasurable things this way.
A: 'How's the quiche?'
B: 'That's mighty fine quiche'

Tom had had himself such a mighty fine bit of pie he eagerly awaited second helpings.
by Jamie Douglas November 16, 2006
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bendy bum

n. Homosexual. In reference to ........... the fact the person in question is ......... bent, and in the case of men ........ take it up the ....... (can you guess what it is yet) ......... (have a go) .......... (that's right) ....... bum!
John: "Turns out Sam takes it up the back passage."
Wayne: "Yeah, I always thought he was a bendy bum."
by Jamie Douglas September 11, 2006
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friday @ 5

A time of week, originating from mathematicians in the northern town of Sheffield, when all pens must be dropped, all PC's powered down and the weekend must kick in.

friday @ 5 must be accompanied by beer drinking, music playing, bar snack munching and general chat about anything but work.

Acceptable topics of conversation include movies, art, sport, music, politics, travel, family, science, literature, food & drink, etc..
It's friday @ 5, what a thrill! Beer and chat, hooray!
by Jamie Douglas February 24, 2007
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supermarket legs

n. Slapper

"Cheap and always open".
Jack: "Hey Bill, have you seen the new girl Sharon?"
Bill: "Yeah Jack, but I hear she's got real supermarket legs!"
by Jamie Douglas September 30, 2006
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