Jamie Douglas's definitions
by Jamie Douglas December 19, 2006
Get the barmmug. Contrary to the actual words used, a cry baby neither cries nor is an infant, but is a fully grown adult who whines too much and should know better.
A cry baby will normally complain about the most petty things, like there being no packets of brown sugar on their hotel room tea tray, the fact the train is four minutes late, and being dumped by their significant other.
The only acceptable way to deal with a cry baby is to pretend to physically cry when they start complaining, by rubbing ones eyes and quivering ones bottom lip in a totally OTT manner, followed by the put-down "don't cry about it".
A cry baby will normally complain about the most petty things, like there being no packets of brown sugar on their hotel room tea tray, the fact the train is four minutes late, and being dumped by their significant other.
The only acceptable way to deal with a cry baby is to pretend to physically cry when they start complaining, by rubbing ones eyes and quivering ones bottom lip in a totally OTT manner, followed by the put-down "don't cry about it".
Tubs: "Can you believe it, there's no haddock left down the chippy!"
Edward: "Boo-hoo, don't cry about it, cry baby!"
Edward: "Boo-hoo, don't cry about it, cry baby!"
by Jamie Douglas September 6, 2006
Get the cry babymug. Weather is the thing that makes blighty so unbearable. In blighty weather is terrible all the time, so much so that many people choose to move abroad or simply jump into the ocean and try to swim to another country. The general weather pattern acorss the United Kingdom is rain, rain, rain. Then a cold front. Then rain, rain, rain. Then freezing winds and snow. Then rain, rain, rain. The Roman Emperor Caeser once abandoned his quest to rule Britain because of the weather, and during the second world war the Luftwaffe were defeated in the Battle of Britain because the steel that made their aeroplanes rusted within minutes of coming into contact with British weather.
by Jamie Douglas September 1, 2006
Get the weathermug. If someone is morbidly rotund, obese, or even a little overweight they can be described as being 'fat enough to bend light'. This derives from the fact that massive solar bodies like the sun have enough gravitational pull to alter the path of light rays, a process known as bending. Hence if you suggest someone is fat enough to bend light you are implying they have a weight equivalent to a large star, i.e. many millions of tonnes, and hence must be mocked as such.
"Golly gosh, that poor girl is fat enough to bend light!"
"Ha! Ha! Ha! Michelles husband is fat enough to bend light. Let's go give him a cake!"
"Ha! Ha! Ha! Michelles husband is fat enough to bend light. Let's go give him a cake!"
by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006
Get the Fat enough to bend lightmug. Tasting of lemons. If you ever put something lemony in your mouth you will experience your pie-hole being sucked into itself, such is the explosive power of the citrus fruit. Be warned.
Many things which are not lemons are lemony. Examples include 'Jif', 'Bleach' and 'Uranium'.
Many things which are not lemons are lemony. Examples include 'Jif', 'Bleach' and 'Uranium'.
Jimmy "Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm!"
Paul "Oh goodness, get that lemon out your mouth!"
Jimmy "That's better. It was lemony."
Paul "Oh goodness, get that lemon out your mouth!"
Jimmy "That's better. It was lemony."
by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006
Get the lemonymug. Before now.
Several things have happened previously, including the second world war and unidentified drinking injuries.
No-one can prevent things that happened previously.
Several things have happened previously, including the second world war and unidentified drinking injuries.
No-one can prevent things that happened previously.
"Children should learn about things that happened previously."
"I previously had a job."
"Previously to you, I had another wife."
"I previously had a job."
"Previously to you, I had another wife."
by Jamie Douglas November 20, 2006
Get the previouslymug. When your whole world caves in on top of you (metaphorically or physically), you can be described as being crushed.
You can be crushed by large weights, but the most painful type of 'crushing' for a man is when he is smitten with a young lady over a long period of time (a co-worker or flatmate for example), only to be rejected when he attempts to initate a relationship. Normally a man crushed in such a way will be inconsolable for a few weeks, and will probably never recover. The only way for a man to avoid being crushed in such a way is to avoid ever getting emotionally close to a woman, and as such lead a lonely but un-crushable existance.
Women, being the apostles of Satan, are not crushable in this way. But they are crushable physically.
You can be crushed by large weights, but the most painful type of 'crushing' for a man is when he is smitten with a young lady over a long period of time (a co-worker or flatmate for example), only to be rejected when he attempts to initate a relationship. Normally a man crushed in such a way will be inconsolable for a few weeks, and will probably never recover. The only way for a man to avoid being crushed in such a way is to avoid ever getting emotionally close to a woman, and as such lead a lonely but un-crushable existance.
Women, being the apostles of Satan, are not crushable in this way. But they are crushable physically.
by Jamie Douglas September 3, 2006
Get the crushedmug.