Jamie Douglas's definitions
Margret Thatcher, your old headmaster, traffic wardens, nightclub doormen and the Pope are all po faced
by Jamie Douglas December 6, 2006
Get the po faced mug.Golfing term. When you've totally topped the ball, but it squirts along the ground and goes a bloody mile because of how hard you hit it, your ball is 'running like a Kenyan on speed'.
This derives from the fact that Kenya has a long history of some of the best long distance runners in the world, and the effect that the drug speed has on people.
This derives from the fact that Kenya has a long history of some of the best long distance runners in the world, and the effect that the drug speed has on people.
by Jamie Douglas September 6, 2006
Get the running like a Kenyan on speed mug.Something that costs nothing, but most of the population seem to have an aversion to.
Good manners are a gateway to success. Bad manners are a gateway to a good hiding.
Good manners are a gateway to success. Bad manners are a gateway to a good hiding.
Look at that girl with her cooch on the dinner table, she has the most awful manners!
Good manners include offering your seat to a pregnant woman on the bus.
Good manners include offering your seat to a pregnant woman on the bus.
by Jamie Douglas December 14, 2006
Get the manners mug.A nightclub frequented by women of low standard who are out to show off there wares in the hope of a sly grope or of making out. These women are normally over 40 or under 18, and most would be mistaken for hookers if they were seen in natural light.
A cattle market is the sort of place that male first year undergraduate students at university go all the time in an effort to get their end away, but this invariably results in the guilty boys leaving the venue with an itch.
The term derives because the women in these clubs are essentially showing themselves off in the hope of being taken home, just as cattle are shown off at cattle markets in the hope of being sold.
A cattle market is the sort of place that male first year undergraduate students at university go all the time in an effort to get their end away, but this invariably results in the guilty boys leaving the venue with an itch.
The term derives because the women in these clubs are essentially showing themselves off in the hope of being taken home, just as cattle are shown off at cattle markets in the hope of being sold.
Bill: "Let's go down Icon and Diva!"
Pete: "We can't go there, it's a right cattle market!"
"Ooh, I was in Creation last night and pulled this slapper - now I have an itch! Serves me right for visiting such a cattle market!"
"Let's go down to Gatecrasher - I hear it's a real cattle market down there!"
Pete: "We can't go there, it's a right cattle market!"
"Ooh, I was in Creation last night and pulled this slapper - now I have an itch! Serves me right for visiting such a cattle market!"
"Let's go down to Gatecrasher - I hear it's a real cattle market down there!"
by Jamie Douglas January 6, 2007
Get the cattle market mug.Beer farts are the product of drinking too much beer, especially but not exclusively bitter.
They are incredibly smelly and frequent, and make your bum itch.
Beer farts are the worst thing to develop on a date, unless you feel comfortable blaming noxious odours on your partner.
They are incredibly smelly and frequent, and make your bum itch.
Beer farts are the worst thing to develop on a date, unless you feel comfortable blaming noxious odours on your partner.
John: "Bloody hell Jim, after those bitters last night I've been farting all morning!"
Jim: "Me too - the beer farts are coming thick and fast!"
What's that smell? Beer farts.
Man: "It's so good of you to agree to go out with me."
{Cue uncontrollable beer farts}
Woman: "Was that you?"
Man: "No you smelly ogre, it was you!"
Jim: "Me too - the beer farts are coming thick and fast!"
What's that smell? Beer farts.
Man: "It's so good of you to agree to go out with me."
{Cue uncontrollable beer farts}
Woman: "Was that you?"
Man: "No you smelly ogre, it was you!"
by Jamie Douglas January 20, 2007
Get the beer farts mug.Without doubt, the finest footballer taller than eight feet in the universe. With an uncanny knack for unravelling his telescopic legs Peter Crouch was able to dominate world football for a generation, winning the FA Cup in 2006, the English League in 2008, the world cup in 2010 and becoming president of the Galaxy a short time later. Peter Crouch is a hero of our time.
by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006
Get the Peter Crouch mug.A: 'How's the quiche?'
B: 'That's mighty fine quiche'
Tom had had himself such a mighty fine bit of pie he eagerly awaited second helpings.
B: 'That's mighty fine quiche'
Tom had had himself such a mighty fine bit of pie he eagerly awaited second helpings.
by Jamie Douglas November 16, 2006
Get the mighty fine mug.