Jamie Douglas's definitions
by Jamie Douglas December 7, 2006
Get the pannces mug.Someones who's really vain and makes an unecessary effort with their appearance e.g. a well oiled, beautifully bronzed sunbather at a tourist resort, or a cool kid with too much gel in their hair. The phrase was first used in german (lackierter Affe), and is a lovely description of that loathsome type of person.
by Jamie Douglas September 6, 2006
Get the varnished monkey mug.A period of time when the sheer volume and quality of live sport induces a feeling not dissimilar to an orgasm in you.
It usually involves a lot of beer.
It usually involves a lot of beer.
OMG - the Premiership and Championship football is reaching it's climax, there's Champions League footie, the Hong Kong Sevens rugby is on, we're in the middle of the cricket world cup, we're close to the world championship snooker, the Masters golf at Augusta is next weekend with F1 motor racing and the tennis summer season is about to kick in - it's a sportsgasm!
A weekend with more than 3 different types of live sport to watch can be called a sportsgasm.
A weekend with more than 3 different types of live sport to watch can be called a sportsgasm.
by Jamie Douglas April 8, 2007
Get the sportsgasm mug.Weather is the thing that makes blighty so unbearable. In blighty weather is terrible all the time, so much so that many people choose to move abroad or simply jump into the ocean and try to swim to another country. The general weather pattern acorss the United Kingdom is rain, rain, rain. Then a cold front. Then rain, rain, rain. Then freezing winds and snow. Then rain, rain, rain. The Roman Emperor Caeser once abandoned his quest to rule Britain because of the weather, and during the second world war the Luftwaffe were defeated in the Battle of Britain because the steel that made their aeroplanes rusted within minutes of coming into contact with British weather.
by Jamie Douglas September 1, 2006
Get the weather mug.by Jamie Douglas January 21, 2007
Get the mighty weapon mug.Golfing game. When a man fails to drive the ladies tee-box it is customary to force him to turn his trouser/shorts pockets inside out, unzip his fly, and walk the length of the hole with his johnson out, thus making an elephants image around his crotch.
Cruel variations of this game include consuming a quiagh (a small silver tureen used to formally serve whiskey at gatherings) of whiskey before every new hole when playing in a fourball. The first 3 players (determined by the lowest score at the previous hole) can sip as much or as little as they like, but the fourth player must finish what is left. This normally results in at least one player getting totally mashed and spaffing their drives only a handful of yards.
Cruel variations of this game include consuming a quiagh (a small silver tureen used to formally serve whiskey at gatherings) of whiskey before every new hole when playing in a fourball. The first 3 players (determined by the lowest score at the previous hole) can sip as much or as little as they like, but the fourth player must finish what is left. This normally results in at least one player getting totally mashed and spaffing their drives only a handful of yards.
"Ooops, failed to make the ladies tee again, you know what that means - elephant golf!"
"Let's hit the golf course with a bottle of dram for some elephant golf"
"OK, rules for todays golf competition. No ladies on the course, and elephant golf to be played at all times."
"Let's hit the golf course with a bottle of dram for some elephant golf"
"OK, rules for todays golf competition. No ladies on the course, and elephant golf to be played at all times."
by Jamie Douglas September 8, 2006
Get the elephant golf mug.1. A line in football exactly between the back line and the goalkeeper, usually roughly level with the six-yard-box. Any cross into the Corridor of Uncertainty will cause all sorts of panicky and comedy defending as neither goalie nor defence are sure to come or stay.
2. A line in cricket, when the ball pitches usually on a length, just outside the batsmans off-stump. It is such a good line that it leaves the batsman unsure of whether or not to play a shot, and usually results in either an edge, a play-and-a-miss or some other form of comedy cricket.
3. A dark alleyway.
4. A womans anus. Do you dare venture into the Corridor of Uncertainty?
2. A line in cricket, when the ball pitches usually on a length, just outside the batsmans off-stump. It is such a good line that it leaves the batsman unsure of whether or not to play a shot, and usually results in either an edge, a play-and-a-miss or some other form of comedy cricket.
3. A dark alleyway.
4. A womans anus. Do you dare venture into the Corridor of Uncertainty?
Ooh, he's put that cross right along the Corridor of Uncertainty and caught the defence in one dilly of a pickle!
Fletcher: "If you keep putting the ball into the Corridor of Uncertainty, you'll get an edge for a wicket eventually."
Harmison: "OK, but what if I just bowl at second slip?"
Paul: "Let's go this way. It's a short cut."
Mike: "No, I can't see down there - it's a Corridor of Uncertainty."
James: "Let's have sex!"
Milly: "We can't, it's my time of the month!"
James: "No worries, I'll just put it in the Corridor of Uncertainty."
Milly: "Ouch!"
Fletcher: "If you keep putting the ball into the Corridor of Uncertainty, you'll get an edge for a wicket eventually."
Harmison: "OK, but what if I just bowl at second slip?"
Paul: "Let's go this way. It's a short cut."
Mike: "No, I can't see down there - it's a Corridor of Uncertainty."
James: "Let's have sex!"
Milly: "We can't, it's my time of the month!"
James: "No worries, I'll just put it in the Corridor of Uncertainty."
Milly: "Ouch!"
by Jamie Douglas January 5, 2007
Get the Corridor of Uncertainty mug.