A really, really, really, really pasty white skin tone. When someone gets an xbox they invariably spend too much time indoors playing it, and the lack of sunlight they recieve results in a lack of melanin in the skin, turning them albino white.
Hilariously, this insult should be applied to people who through no fault of their own cannot develop a dark tan, such as the elderly, ginger-haired folk and computer nerds who should know better.
Max: "Hey, look at that pasty white guy"
Bubba: "Yep, he's sporting a real xbox tan"
Weather is the thing that makes blighty
so unbearable. In blighty
weather is terrible all the time, so much so that many people choose to move abroad or simply jump into the ocean and try to swim to another country. The general weather pattern acorss the United Kingdom is rain, rain, rain. Then a cold front. Then rain, rain, rain. Then freezing winds and snow. Then rain, rain, rain. The Roman Emperor Caeser once abandoned his quest to rule Britain because of the weather, and during the second world war the Luftwaffe were defeated in the Battle of Britain because the steel that made their aeroplanes rusted within minutes of coming into contact with British weather.
Tim: "How's the weather?"
Jerry: "You know, sunny!"
Without doubt, the finest footballer taller than eight feet in the universe. With an uncanny knack for unravelling his telescopic legs Peter Crouch was able to dominate world football for a generation, winning the FA Cup in 2006, the English League in 2008, the world cup in 2010 and becoming president of the Galaxy a short time later. Peter Crouch is a hero of our time.
Let's gan down t'kop and cheer Peter Crouch
"Cheap and always open".
Jack: "Hey Bill, have you seen the new girl Sharon?"
Bill: "Yeah Jack, but I hear she's got real supermarket legs!"
"Cheap and easily spread."
Scott: "Hey Phil, have you seen the new girl Tracy?"
Phil: "Yeah Scott, but I hear she's got real margarine legs!"
Golfing term. When you've totally topped the ball, but it squirts along the ground and goes a bloody mile because of how hard you hit it, your ball is 'running like a Kenyan on speed'.
This derives from the fact that Kenya has a long history of some of the best long distance runners in the world, and the effect that the drug speed has on people.
"You jammy sod, that ball's running like a Kenyan on speed!"
A nightclub frequented
by women of low standard who are out to show off there wares in the hope of a sly grope or of making out. These women are normally over 40 or under 18, and most would be mistaken for hookers
if they were seen in natural light.
A cattle market is the sort of place that male first year undergraduate students at university go all the time in an effort to get their end away, but this invariably results in the guilty boys leaving the venue with an itch.
The term derives because the women in these clubs are essentially showing themselves off in the hope of being taken home, just as cattle are shown off at cattle markets in the hope of being sold.
Bill: "Let's go down Icon and Diva!"
Pete: "We can't go there, it's a right cattle market!"
"Ooh, I was in Creation last night and pulled this slapper - now I have an itch! Serves me right for visiting such a cattle market!"
"Let's go down to Gatecrasher - I hear it's a real cattle market down there!"