Definitions by Jako Kot
Smell Test
Contrary to the clothes and snatch smell test, the post-poop smell test is used to determine whether or not the pooper's hands need cleansing. Positive results = fingers smell like poop = hand has come in contact with butthole = hand-washing necessary. Negative results = finger smell does not resemble feces = successful wipe = hand-washing deemed frivolous
Man 1: Sir, you did not wash your hands?
Man 2: Indeed good fellow. However, my hands smelled of bacon so I know I am safe.
Man 1: Shit. That smell test is the real deal.
Man 2: Indeed good fellow. However, my hands smelled of bacon so I know I am safe.
Man 1: Shit. That smell test is the real deal.
Smell Test by Jako Kot July 26, 2010
the chase
The period before a relationship (or before a rejection) where a guy attempts to create the romantic bond. Involves much dating and confusion
free laundry
Clothes that are left at your house by friends or anybody for that matter. Once the clothes inhabit your house for 24 hours without any requests from the owner, they are yours. No matter how much they bitch after that point, you have no obligations.
Guy 1: "Dude, your party was awesome. Did you ever find a Maverick's shirt? I think I left it upstairs."
Guy 2: "Man, my party was two days ago."
Guy 1: "So, I still want my shirt back."
Guy 2: "Sorry brosky, your shirt is free laundry, and I like it a lot. Makes me look jacked."
Guy 1: "Bitch, give it back!"
Guy 2: "Sorry."
Guy 2: "Man, my party was two days ago."
Guy 1: "So, I still want my shirt back."
Guy 2: "Sorry brosky, your shirt is free laundry, and I like it a lot. Makes me look jacked."
Guy 1: "Bitch, give it back!"
Guy 2: "Sorry."
free laundry by Jako Kot September 30, 2008
shardage
happens after you take a wet shit and don't wipe properly. The overlooked dirt soon dries and feels like shards of glass in your anal cavity. Walking feels like hell and requires much re-adjustment.
shardage is commonly mistaken for torn asshole, which occurs after a poop is too large to fit through your butt at its normal size or after anal sex (ouch and very gay). also mistaken for fire-ass, which occurs after diarrhea and your butthole's exposure to acid
shardage is commonly mistaken for torn asshole, which occurs after a poop is too large to fit through your butt at its normal size or after anal sex (ouch and very gay). also mistaken for fire-ass, which occurs after diarrhea and your butthole's exposure to acid
two kids while on a tour of the Musuem of Natural Science:
Kid 1: "Hey, stop pulling at your ass.
Kid 2: "Man I gots da shardage cuz I didn't have enough time to wipe this morning."
Kid 1: "Oooo. Are you sure that wasn't cuz of my dick in yo butthole last night."
Kid 2: "No. Yours is too small for this kind of damage."
Kid 1: "Hey, stop pulling at your ass.
Kid 2: "Man I gots da shardage cuz I didn't have enough time to wipe this morning."
Kid 1: "Oooo. Are you sure that wasn't cuz of my dick in yo butthole last night."
Kid 2: "No. Yours is too small for this kind of damage."
finish
when a girl makes you cum when giving head or a handjob (although handjobs blow, and we can do a better job ourselves). Good girls always finish guys and swallow too, while mean girls leave the guys to finish themselves.