Jake's definitions

masturbate

1.) What you do when your girlfriend is not at home.

2.) The reason why people buy playboys.

3.) The reason why old people are having more heart attacks.

4.) The reason why birth-rate decreased by 60% in the last 20 years.

5.) What 30% of the world population is doing now.

The old man had several heart attacks due to his recent masturbations. He had too much excitement

by Jake April 22, 2005

F.U.P.

Fat Upper Pussy. When a womans stomach is so fat that it hangs down over the na-na.

by jake March 7, 2003

Tug Boat

a fat chick who drags you home despite your protests and subjects you to great fat sex all night

Tug Boat Annie brought her 319 pounds down on me in more ways than 3 that night, I was sexually exhausted by sunrise

by Jake March 7, 2004

booswigger

alcoholic, someone whos always drinking

1. you are being too loud.
shut up booswigger ur drunk.
2. lookit that there booswigger sue-may-jim-bob, he looks a tad intoxicated.

by jake May 13, 2005

mufka

an abbreviation for "motherfucker" often used in drunken slurred speech

god i hate that mufka over there

by jake January 12, 2004

quick comer

1) a guy who ejaculates soon after commencing sex

2) a woman who has her first orgasm soon after commencing sex

1) Sara: "Jake's a quick comer, he usually goes off within 5 strokes of getting into me."

2) Jake: "Betsy's a quick comer, I stroke her clit a few times and she has an orgasm right away if we haven't seen each other in a week or so."

by Jake March 23, 2004

ten

Highest score on a rating system for females, originally popularized by the Bo Derek movie "Ten" in which she really IS a TEN (now, she's slipped to a 9-1/2). TEN=top-quality,TEN is the highest and ZERO is the lowest. This scale can rate anything but women are the most popular use of it.

Susan Sarandon is a ten.

Sharon Stone is a 10.

Elizabeth Shue is an eleven (overdrive !)

Janet Jackson is a 4.

I have known trolls and coyote ugly girls who were 1's, 2's, and even 3's.

by Jake March 9, 2004