night shift

typically 11 pm- 7 am or 12 midnight 'til 8. The infidelity shift. The time when most MILFs get a different bed companion.
Her old man worked night shift so I used to slip into her bed at 1 am and leave by 4 am.
by Jake March 06, 2004
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masturbate

1.) What you do when your girlfriend is not at home.

2.) The reason why people buy playboys.

3.) The reason why old people are having more heart attacks.

4.) The reason why birth-rate decreased by 60% in the last 20 years.

5.) What 30% of the world population is doing now.
The old man had several heart attacks due to his recent masturbations. He had too much excitement
by Jake April 22, 2005
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oh hey

agreeing with someone in a conversation; derived from the language Jag
Scooter Mcdoogle: "You wanna get drunk?" Jake Schrader: "oh hey!"
by Jake January 08, 2005
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v-unit

We were best of friends, I treated her like the lady she was. One night she decided to offer me her v-unit. That was when I learned she was a virgin.
by Jake January 11, 2004
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rubdown

(noun) rubbing a female until she agrees to have sex with you. Starts with her shoulders, neck and back, but if you can get her undressed, progresses to rubbing her vulva.
Ron gave Briegetha a rubdown, beginning with her neck, shoulders, and back, progressing to rubbing the back of her legs thru her jeans, then eventually charming her down to her underpants. Next he moved from rubbing her inner thighs to massaging her vulva.
by Jake March 24, 2004
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leek

a vegetable, one of several that make for an excellent "penis". Available in various lengths and circumferences. Best washed and dried before use (who knows where they've been !) Similar to zuchini, carrots, cucumbers.
When she has to come home alone on Saturday night, she cozies up to her vegetable bin and chooses her mate from among the cucumbers, zuchini, carrots and leeks.
by Jake February 26, 2004
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john lennon

John Lennon was the main member of the beatles and co-wrote many of the greatest songs of the centrury with Paul MacCartney. During the 50s, he mainly wrote of love, but as the 60s wore on, he became an LSD junkie with the other Bealtes. After that, most of his songs were about drugs, "seeing beyond your stuff" and sublimal messages about how stupid the government is. After his murder in 1980, he's now revered as a musical God.
by Jake February 26, 2005
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