Definitions by Jack Spank9049
Mechanic in Totton
Some sweaty-ass mechanic (who doesn't even exist) based in Totton.
He can...
Do petrol to Turbo Diesel conversions (includes bikes and mopeds)
Stage 4 and 5 remaps
Rebuild 1.0 Ford engines that went boom 💥
Do wet belt to chain conversions
4WD and RWD conversions
Electric assist motor retrofits
Custom (one-of-a-kind) fabricated engines, turbos and gearboxes
Turbo retrofits on N/A petrol engines
He can...
Do petrol to Turbo Diesel conversions (includes bikes and mopeds)
Stage 4 and 5 remaps
Rebuild 1.0 Ford engines that went boom 💥
Do wet belt to chain conversions
4WD and RWD conversions
Electric assist motor retrofits
Custom (one-of-a-kind) fabricated engines, turbos and gearboxes
Turbo retrofits on N/A petrol engines
Guy 1: I just bought an MX5!
Guy 2: Is it a diesel?
Guy 1: *Laughs* No petrol!
Guy 2: I know a mechanic in Totton who can do a diesel conversion if you're interested!
Guy 1: I'll rather kill my self!
Guy 2: Is it a diesel?
Guy 1: *Laughs* No petrol!
Guy 2: I know a mechanic in Totton who can do a diesel conversion if you're interested!
Guy 1: I'll rather kill my self!
Mechanic in Totton by Jack Spank9049 May 15, 2026
Big Scott
A sexy motherfucker - typically between early 30s - mid 40s, who will complement almost any female of a similar age range on sight.
Big Scott by Jack Spank9049 March 21, 2026
Duratorq
Simply the best engine to exist. Designed by PSA but given an exclusive name in the Ford TDCI lineup.
You will get:
Guaranteed 350k+ miles
Easy 70-80mpg on the motorway with cruise control set at 60
A wide range of BHP from 70 to 265 BHP
***As seen in some Mondeo STs
A great example of mechanical engineering equipped from day-to-day city runabouts, company fleet vehicles, Zetec S Fiesta boy racer cars and the old man's Mondeo ST of course
You will get:
Guaranteed 350k+ miles
Easy 70-80mpg on the motorway with cruise control set at 60
A wide range of BHP from 70 to 265 BHP
***As seen in some Mondeo STs
A great example of mechanical engineering equipped from day-to-day city runabouts, company fleet vehicles, Zetec S Fiesta boy racer cars and the old man's Mondeo ST of course
Person 1: *Opens bonnet*
Person 2: *Sees a engine covered in plastic with the name "Duratorq TDCI over the plastic cover"*
Person 2: *Creams*
Person 2: *Sees a engine covered in plastic with the name "Duratorq TDCI over the plastic cover"*
Person 2: *Creams*
Duratorq by Jack Spank9049 August 3, 2025
Are you retarded?
Are you retarded? by Jack Spank9049 April 20, 2025
Dole money
Benefits, Universal Credit, Job-seeker's allowance, Personal Independence Payment (PIP) and so on...
Dole money by Jack Spank9049 March 8, 2025
On lifts
Where somebody will transport people they know (or sometimes friends-of-friends of friends-of-family) to and/or from point A to point B where that person either does not drive or cannot drive due to intoxication.
Sometimes people may charge, or will do it for free with tips being appreciated.
Normally the person 'on lifts' does not hold a private hire licence but still does not legally stop them from offering their commitment.
Sometimes people may charge, or will do it for free with tips being appreciated.
Normally the person 'on lifts' does not hold a private hire licence but still does not legally stop them from offering their commitment.
On lifts by Jack Spank9049 July 26, 2024