Jack Spank9049's definitions

Big Scott

A sexy motherfucker - typically between early 30s - mid 40s, who will complement almost any female of a similar age range on sight.

*Notices a blonde 40 year old waiting at the traffic lights...*

Big Scott: "She's hot!"

by Jack Spank9049 March 21, 2026

Duratorq

Simply the best engine to exist. Designed by PSA but given an exclusive name in the Ford TDCI lineup.

You will get:

Guaranteed 350k+ miles

Easy 70-80mpg on the motorway with cruise control set at 60

A wide range of BHP from 70 to 265 BHP

***As seen in some Mondeo STs

A great example of mechanical engineering equipped from day-to-day city runabouts, company fleet vehicles, Zetec S Fiesta boy racer cars and the old man's Mondeo ST of course

Person 1: *Opens bonnet*

Person 2: *Sees a engine covered in plastic with the name "Duratorq TDCI over the plastic cover"*

Person 2: *Creams*

by Jack Spank9049 August 3, 2025

Are you retarded?

Said by one when another blurts out something that is simply not true or just total nonsense.

Person 1: 12AM is lunchtime right?

Person 2: Are you retarded?

by Jack Spank9049 April 20, 2025

Dole money

Benefits, Universal Credit, Job-seeker's allowance, Personal Independence Payment (PIP) and so on...

Friend: Want to do something today?

Me: I can't as I am working to pay your dole money!

by Jack Spank9049 March 8, 2025

Wo-wo-wo

Said when something falls over or when someone drops something

*Some dude's pallet falls over in a warehouse*

Random guy in the distance: "Wo-wo-wo!"

by Jack Spank9049 December 5, 2024

On lifts

Where somebody will transport people they know (or sometimes friends-of-friends of friends-of-family) to and/or from point A to point B where that person either does not drive or cannot drive due to intoxication.

Sometimes people may charge, or will do it for free with tips being appreciated.

Normally the person 'on lifts' does not hold a private hire licence but still does not legally stop them from offering their commitment.

Thomas is on lifts giving people lifts home from the nightclubs in Southampton

by Jack Spank9049 July 26, 2024

Jacob

The happiest guy on Earth...

Me: "Hello Jacob, you seem happy today*

*Jacob in a disgruntled voice*: "I'm always happy!"

(Jacob uses a disgruntled face and voice to fool people into thinking he's not happy when he actually is...)

by Jack Spank9049 July 15, 2024