Jack Spank9049's definitions

The spanking test

In the UK: A test carried out by the SPSA (Spanker Legs Standards Agency); it lasts around 38-40 minutes and consists of spanking in multiple conditions and carrying out multiple spanking manoeuvres which all include but are not limited to...

- Pull up on the right and spank 2 legs worth's

- Reverse spank (either left leg or right leg), and can be parallel or bay spanking

- The emergency spank!

- Forward bay spank

- Pull up on the left and spank again when you're ready

- Spanking on roundabouts

- Hill spanks

On a national average, only under half all candidates who take the spanking test pass first time.

Spack No.2 failed his spanking test in Southampton Maybush.

(the spanking test)

by Jack Spank9049 January 31, 2024

Duratorq

Simply the best engine to exist. Designed by PSA but given an exclusive name in the Ford TDCI lineup.

You will get:

Guaranteed 350k+ miles

Easy 70-80mpg on the motorway with cruise control set at 60

A wide range of BHP from 70 to 265 BHP

***As seen in some Mondeo STs

A great example of mechanical engineering equipped from day-to-day city runabouts, company fleet vehicles, Zetec S Fiesta boy racer cars and the old man's Mondeo ST of course

Person 1: *Opens bonnet*

Person 2: *Sees a engine covered in plastic with the name "Duratorq TDCI over the plastic cover"*

Person 2: *Creams*

by Jack Spank9049 August 3, 2025

Fire Drill

The act of leaving a stadium before the full-time whistle because your team is being absolutely battered!

Fire Drill at Saint Marys as Chelsea score 4 before the half-time whistle

by Jack Spank9049 April 9, 2022

Pinocchio2603

Jack Spank#6049 2.0

Spack No.1: "Yo who you playing with there?"

Spack No.1: *See's the gamertag 'Panico2603'*

Spack No.1: "Yo that sounds similar to the word Pinocchio!"

Spack No.2: "Pinocchio2603?"

Spack No.1: "Yeah!"

by Jack Spank9049 October 9, 2023

Spack No.2

Spack No.2 is the assistant Spack and works closely with the head Spack (Spack No.1)

Spack No.2 is absolutely fascinated with giving Lzzz on GTA Online, giving death chat on CoD, not very good at football (probably worse than Pissing Slabhead-Pagure) although can type at an avg 55 WPM depending on the type of keyboard.

Spack No.2 used to be a fan of Pissing Varchester Penited from the start of the 2021/22 season, but quickly realised the mistake he had made and started supporting Saints after Penited's 1-0 loss at home to Wolves at the beginning of 2022

Spack No.2 has also broken a fair amount of things while playing the old Spanking Zone which includes: Monitor, controller, desk, relationship and many more!

Ok, the relationship thing was a lie; in fact I have never had a bf or gf.

Spack No.2 is also on a mission to get a Saints season ticket for the 2022/23 season and gigabit broadband!

So as you can see Spack No.5, this is Spack No.2 or me (Jack Spank9049).

by Jack Spank9049 April 22, 2022

Spacking Competition

Almost the same to the Spack Attack, apart from the fact that this time there are at least 2 or more people participating in the Spack Attack, hence it being a compeition.

(

Spack No.1 and No.2 *Spack spack spack spack spack spack spack spack spack spack spack spack spack spack spack spack spack spack spack spack spack spack spack* - through the Xbox Mic hearable to an entire Youtube live stream

Nitrix Warlord (GTA Livestream Youtuber): "Yo I don't know who's doing the spacking competition bro. but uhm..."

by Jack Spank9049 June 30, 2023

I'm clipping that!

When something crazy happens in a video game you're playing and you need to record what happened.

Oh my god, that guy just crossbowed someone through a window in the most crazy way in Warzone, I'm clipping that!

by Jack Spank9049 June 3, 2021