Definitions by Jack Spank9049

Real Life Girl

A girl who you meet online but she exists in real life as opposed to being an AI chatbot for example

Me: I'm going to meet a girl

Mr. Strange: A girl?

Me: Yes

Mr. Strange: What, real life girl?

Me: Yes

Mr. Strange: Real life girl?

Me: Yes, real life girl

*Some guy in the distance*: "Are you meeting a real life girl!"

Me: Real life girl my friend!

The driver breakroom: "No way he's going to see a girl... A real life girl!"

Real Life Girl by Jack Spank9049 July 6, 2026

Mechanic in Totton

Some sweaty-ass mechanic (who doesn't even exist) based in Totton.

He can...

Do petrol to Turbo Diesel conversions (includes bikes and mopeds)

Stage 4 and 5 remaps

Rebuild 1.0 Ford engines that went boom 💥

Do wet belt to chain conversions

4WD and RWD conversions

Electric assist motor retrofits

Custom (one-of-a-kind) fabricated engines, turbos and gearboxes

Turbo retrofits on N/A petrol engines

Guy 1: I just bought an MX5!

Guy 2: Is it a diesel?

Guy 1: *Laughs* No petrol!

Guy 2: I know a mechanic in Totton who can do a diesel conversion if you're interested!

Guy 1: I'll rather kill my self!

Mechanic in Totton by Jack Spank9049 May 15, 2026

Big Scott

A sexy motherfucker - typically between early 30s - mid 40s, who will complement almost any female of a similar age range on sight.

*Notices a blonde 40 year old waiting at the traffic lights...*

Big Scott: "She's hot!"

Big Scott by Jack Spank9049 March 21, 2026

Duratorq 

Simply the best engine to exist. Designed by PSA but given an exclusive name in the Ford TDCI lineup.

You will get:

Guaranteed 350k+ miles

Easy 70-80mpg on the motorway with cruise control set at 60

A wide range of BHP from 70 to 265 BHP

***As seen in some Mondeo STs

A great example of mechanical engineering equipped from day-to-day city runabouts, company fleet vehicles, Zetec S Fiesta boy racer cars and the old man's Mondeo ST of course

Person 1: *Opens bonnet*

Person 2: *Sees a engine covered in plastic with the name "Duratorq TDCI over the plastic cover"*

Person 2: *Creams*

Duratorq by Jack Spank9049 August 3, 2025

Are you retarded? 

Said by one when another blurts out something that is simply not true or just total nonsense.

Person 1: 12AM is lunchtime right?

Person 2: Are you retarded?

Are you retarded? by Jack Spank9049 April 20, 2025

Dole money 

Benefits, Universal Credit, Job-seeker's allowance, Personal Independence Payment (PIP) and so on...

Friend: Want to do something today?

Me: I can't as I am working to pay your dole money!

Dole money by Jack Spank9049 March 8, 2025

Wo-wo-wo 

Said when something falls over or when someone drops something

*Some dude's pallet falls over in a warehouse*

Random guy in the distance: "Wo-wo-wo!"

Wo-wo-wo by Jack Spank9049 December 5, 2024