by Jack Bozdog August 03, 2006
National Orgasm Society Scientifically Based Categories, #1
Al & Tipper - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Goregasm
Barely happened - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Boredgasm
Blue Collar - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Poorgasm
During foreplay - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Foregasm
From Masturbation - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Just Yourgasm
In a rowboat - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Oargasm
In brand new home, BEFORE you move in - - - - - - Floorgasm
Just before leaving - - - - - - - - - - - Out the Doorgasm
On the Internet - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Porngasm
One you had to pay for - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Whoregasm
Penis covered with chocolate syrup, marshmallow creme and Graham Cracker crumbs, subjected to a blowjob - - Smoregasm
Too many times - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Soregasm
Trying out the vibrator at the Adult Bookstore - -Storegasm
20s & 30s - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Moregasm
Very brief - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Micro Orgasm
Way too many times - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Toregasm
Wetdream - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Snoregasm
When YOU are a prostitute - - - - - - - - - - - - Choregasm
While flying - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Soargasm
With a cop - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Boargasm
With someone you just met at the bar - - - - - - Scoregasm
With the Quadruplets - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Fourgasm
With your freshly deceased spouse - - - - - - - - Mourngasm
Al & Tipper - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Goregasm
Barely happened - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Boredgasm
Blue Collar - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Poorgasm
During foreplay - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Foregasm
From Masturbation - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Just Yourgasm
In a rowboat - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Oargasm
In brand new home, BEFORE you move in - - - - - - Floorgasm
Just before leaving - - - - - - - - - - - Out the Doorgasm
On the Internet - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Porngasm
One you had to pay for - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Whoregasm
Penis covered with chocolate syrup, marshmallow creme and Graham Cracker crumbs, subjected to a blowjob - - Smoregasm
Too many times - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Soregasm
Trying out the vibrator at the Adult Bookstore - -Storegasm
20s & 30s - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Moregasm
Very brief - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Micro Orgasm
Way too many times - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Toregasm
Wetdream - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Snoregasm
When YOU are a prostitute - - - - - - - - - - - - Choregasm
While flying - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Soargasm
With a cop - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Boargasm
With someone you just met at the bar - - - - - - Scoregasm
With the Quadruplets - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Fourgasm
With your freshly deceased spouse - - - - - - - - Mourngasm
by Jack Bozdog July 01, 2006
Code for "period" or "period, misery". "Beaver Dam" = "tampon", "Maxi-pad", etc., and "Missouri" is code for "misery".
TOM: "Hey, Eric, how about you and Laurra coming over for dinner tonight?"
ERIC: "No, Laurra's in Beaver Dam, Missouri right now."
TOM: "Oh, okay, I get ya."
ERIC: "No, Laurra's in Beaver Dam, Missouri right now."
TOM: "Oh, okay, I get ya."
by Jack Bozdog September 07, 2006
Ed Wood. Ed = Erectile Dysfunction. Wood = Erection. A misnomer? An oxymoron? A cuntradickshun? No, Ed wood = a viagara dependant erection.
GERTRUDE: Grandpa has been an "Ed Johnson" for a couple of years, if you know what I mean. But, he recently started taking viagara, and he's become an "Ed Wood" lately. Even a "Tiger Wood"!
CINDY: Gee, thanks for telling me, Grandma. That was really a whole lot more than I never wanted to know.
CINDY: Gee, thanks for telling me, Grandma. That was really a whole lot more than I never wanted to know.
by Jack Bozdog June 11, 2006
(1) aka William Jefferson Clinton, aka Bill Clinton, aka Mr. Hillary Clinton, aka Billary Clinton. Former USA president, between George Bush and George W. Bush.
(2) A dumbass who smokes pot WITHOUT inhaling! What's the point?
(3) Someone who uses cigars (and joints?) to dip into and suck up pussy juice.
(2) A dumbass who smokes pot WITHOUT inhaling! What's the point?
(3) Someone who uses cigars (and joints?) to dip into and suck up pussy juice.
by Jack Bozdog June 24, 2006
1. Member of the Meat Processers' Union.
2. Member of the Internet Advertisers' Union.
3. Hamsters raised by MacDonald's to become "chicken" nuggets.
2. Member of the Internet Advertisers' Union.
3. Hamsters raised by MacDonald's to become "chicken" nuggets.
PETER: Damn these chicken nuggets are good!
BOBBY: (mumbling) Poor spamsters.
PETER: What did you say?
BOBBY: Oh, nothing.
BOBBY: (mumbling) Poor spamsters.
PETER: What did you say?
BOBBY: Oh, nothing.
by Jack Bozdog June 11, 2006
One long, continuous turd purposefully left in the toilet by its former owner as a "trophy shit".
It spirals around the inside of the bowl, showing those who enter the John Q. Public afterwards just how supremely talented, artistic, and considerate, its manufacturer is.
It spirals around the inside of the bowl, showing those who enter the John Q. Public afterwards just how supremely talented, artistic, and considerate, its manufacturer is.
KAREN: Wow, that was fast!
WILLY: Yeah, well, I didn't use the John, because there was a coiled snake in one stall ...
KAREN: A coiled snake! Oh my God! Did you tell the manager?
WILLY: No, honey, someone left a big, huge, turd in the John. It stunk like Hell, and I wanted to flush it, but it was laying on top of a gigantic TP plug. And the other toilet had john cummings on the seat.
KAREN: Whose that?
WILLY: You know (doing a "jerk off" motion) like "dick cummings" or "peter cummings" but on the john.
KAREN: Oh.
WILLY: On the way back, I'm checking out the gas station across the street, maybe they take better care of their John Q. Public!
KAREN: I get it! You mean CUSTOMERS, right?
WILLY: Yeah, well, I didn't use the John, because there was a coiled snake in one stall ...
KAREN: A coiled snake! Oh my God! Did you tell the manager?
WILLY: No, honey, someone left a big, huge, turd in the John. It stunk like Hell, and I wanted to flush it, but it was laying on top of a gigantic TP plug. And the other toilet had john cummings on the seat.
KAREN: Whose that?
WILLY: You know (doing a "jerk off" motion) like "dick cummings" or "peter cummings" but on the john.
KAREN: Oh.
WILLY: On the way back, I'm checking out the gas station across the street, maybe they take better care of their John Q. Public!
KAREN: I get it! You mean CUSTOMERS, right?
by Jack Bozdog June 25, 2006