Jack Bozdog's definitions

woody johnson

An very hard and erect penis.

I got a woody johnson just looking at that elevator chick over there!

by Jack Bozdog August 11, 2006

hummer blowjob

A blowjob where the cocksucker hums.

Hummer Blowjobs:

H1 = A BIG hummer blowjob leading to cumswallowing orgasm.

H2 = A medium sized hummer blowjob that ALMOST ends in orgasm, but leads to a mind boggling fuck instead.

H3 = A little hummer blowjob that just gets you hard and then stops. You better start fucking ASAP!

by Jack Bozdog July 4, 2006

sugar muffin

1. A female who is really sweet.

2. Great tasting pussy!

My wife is such a sugar muffin (1&2)!

by Jack Bozdog January 1, 2007

Jap crap

Japanese made shit. Most Japanese stuff is NOT shit, it is The Shit. Generally, Japanese stuff is of very high quality, examples of the bad Jap crap are given below:

(1) Japanese cars before 1970 are Jap crap. In the 1970's they dramatically improved. By 1980 Japanese cars were great.

(2) Karate is Jap crap! Judo and Jujitsu are Japtastic!

by Jack Bozdog June 11, 2006

dorkus

An UNATTRACTIVE female dork. An ATTRACTIVE female dork is called a "Dorkette".

You can NOT turn Bertha into a Prom Queen by just taking off her glasses and changing her hairstyle. Bertha is NOT a Dorkette, she is a Dorkus!

Maybe with some liposuction and some ProActive. Maybe.

by Jack Bozdog August 3, 2006

Ed Wood

Ed Wood. Ed = Erectile Dysfunction. Wood = Erection. A misnomer? An oxymoron? A cuntradickshun? No, Ed wood = a viagara dependant erection.

GERTRUDE: Grandpa has been an "Ed Johnson" for a couple of years, if you know what I mean. But, he recently started taking viagara, and he's become an "Ed Wood" lately. Even a "Tiger Wood"!

CINDY: Gee, thanks for telling me, Grandma. That was really a whole lot more than I never wanted to know.

by Jack Bozdog June 11, 2006

National Orgasm Society

An International Society for the promotion and enhancement of Orgasms.

National Orgasm Society Scientifically Based Categories, #1

Al & Tipper - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Goregasm
Barely happened - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Boredgasm
Blue Collar - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Poorgasm
During foreplay - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Foregasm
From Masturbation - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Just Yourgasm
In a rowboat - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Oargasm
In brand new home, BEFORE you move in - - - - - - Floorgasm
Just before leaving - - - - - - - - - - - Out the Doorgasm
On the Internet - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Porngasm
One you had to pay for - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Whoregasm
Penis covered with chocolate syrup, marshmallow creme and Graham Cracker crumbs, subjected to a blowjob - - Smoregasm
Too many times - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Soregasm
Trying out the vibrator at the Adult Bookstore - -Storegasm
20s & 30s - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Moregasm
Very brief - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Micro Orgasm
Way too many times - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Toregasm
Wetdream - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Snoregasm
When YOU are a prostitute - - - - - - - - - - - - Choregasm
While flying - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Soargasm
With a cop - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Boargasm
With someone you just met at the bar - - - - - - Scoregasm
With the Quadruplets - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Fourgasm
With your freshly deceased spouse - - - - - - - - Mourngasm

by Jack Bozdog July 1, 2006