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Jack Bozdog's definitions

Ed Wood

Ed Wood. Ed = Erectile Dysfunction. Wood = Erection. A misnomer? An oxymoron? A cuntradickshun? No, Ed wood = a viagara dependant erection.
GERTRUDE: Grandpa has been an "Ed Johnson" for a couple of years, if you know what I mean. But, he recently started taking viagara, and he's become an "Ed Wood" lately. Even a "Tiger Wood"!

CINDY: Gee, thanks for telling me, Grandma. That was really a whole lot more than I never wanted to know.
by Jack Bozdog June 11, 2006
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National Orgasm Society

An International Society for the promotion and enhancement of Orgasms.
National Orgasm Society Scientifically Based Categories, #1

Al & Tipper - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Goregasm
Barely happened - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Boredgasm
Blue Collar - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Poorgasm
During foreplay - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Foregasm
From Masturbation - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Just Yourgasm
In a rowboat - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Oargasm
In brand new home, BEFORE you move in - - - - - - Floorgasm
Just before leaving - - - - - - - - - - - Out the Doorgasm
On the Internet - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Porngasm
One you had to pay for - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Whoregasm
Penis covered with chocolate syrup, marshmallow creme and Graham Cracker crumbs, subjected to a blowjob - - Smoregasm
Too many times - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Soregasm
Trying out the vibrator at the Adult Bookstore - -Storegasm
20s & 30s - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Moregasm
Very brief - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Micro Orgasm
Way too many times - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Toregasm
Wetdream - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Snoregasm
When YOU are a prostitute - - - - - - - - - - - - Choregasm
While flying - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Soargasm
With a cop - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Boargasm
With someone you just met at the bar - - - - - - Scoregasm
With the Quadruplets - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Fourgasm
With your freshly deceased spouse - - - - - - - - Mourngasm
by Jack Bozdog July 1, 2006
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hummer blowjob

A blowjob where the cocksucker hums.
Hummer Blowjobs:

H1 = A BIG hummer blowjob leading to cumswallowing orgasm.

H2 = A medium sized hummer blowjob that ALMOST ends in orgasm, but leads to a mind boggling fuck instead.

H3 = A little hummer blowjob that just gets you hard and then stops. You better start fucking ASAP!
by Jack Bozdog July 4, 2006
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Willy Clinton

(1) aka William Jefferson Clinton, aka Bill Clinton, aka Mr. Hillary Clinton, aka Billary Clinton. Former USA president, between George Bush and George W. Bush.

(2) A dumbass who smokes pot WITHOUT inhaling! What's the point?

(3) Someone who uses cigars (and joints?) to dip into and suck up pussy juice.
When I'm fucking, my Willy Clinton is between two Bushes.
by Jack Bozdog June 24, 2006
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CANUSA

The Canadian U.S.A. border. It is prononced "CAN-U.S.A.".
Our Off-road club will take on your off-road club across CANUSA anytime!
by Jack Bozdog August 3, 2006
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self-heating sleeping bag

The #1 why beans are so popular as a camping food...
...is that they create the self-heating sleeping bag at night!
by Jack Bozdog November 27, 2006
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Ostrich

A woman with nice legs, nice hips, and big hair, but no tits.
Yeah! I fucked the Hell out of Mary last night!

Wow! I bet it was great seeing her naked!

Well, she does look pretty damn good naked, but, she must stuff her bra or wear falseys or somethin', she is definitely an ostrich dude.
by Jack Bozdog December 10, 2006
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