Jack Bozdog's definitions

dorkus

An UNATTRACTIVE female dork. An ATTRACTIVE female dork is called a "Dorkette".

You can NOT turn Bertha into a Prom Queen by just taking off her glasses and changing her hairstyle. Bertha is NOT a Dorkette, she is a Dorkus!

Maybe with some liposuction and some ProActive. Maybe.

by Jack Bozdog August 3, 2006

Ed Wood

Ed Wood. Ed = Erectile Dysfunction. Wood = Erection. A misnomer? An oxymoron? A cuntradickshun? No, Ed wood = a viagara dependant erection.

GERTRUDE: Grandpa has been an "Ed Johnson" for a couple of years, if you know what I mean. But, he recently started taking viagara, and he's become an "Ed Wood" lately. Even a "Tiger Wood"!

CINDY: Gee, thanks for telling me, Grandma. That was really a whole lot more than I never wanted to know.

by Jack Bozdog June 11, 2006

National Orgasm Society

An International Society for the promotion and enhancement of Orgasms.

National Orgasm Society Scientifically Based Categories, #1

Al & Tipper - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Goregasm
Barely happened - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Boredgasm
Blue Collar - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Poorgasm
During foreplay - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Foregasm
From Masturbation - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Just Yourgasm
In a rowboat - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Oargasm
In brand new home, BEFORE you move in - - - - - - Floorgasm
Just before leaving - - - - - - - - - - - Out the Doorgasm
On the Internet - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Porngasm
One you had to pay for - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Whoregasm
Penis covered with chocolate syrup, marshmallow creme and Graham Cracker crumbs, subjected to a blowjob - - Smoregasm
Too many times - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Soregasm
Trying out the vibrator at the Adult Bookstore - -Storegasm
20s & 30s - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Moregasm
Very brief - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Micro Orgasm
Way too many times - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Toregasm
Wetdream - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Snoregasm
When YOU are a prostitute - - - - - - - - - - - - Choregasm
While flying - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Soargasm
With a cop - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Boargasm
With someone you just met at the bar - - - - - - Scoregasm
With the Quadruplets - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Fourgasm
With your freshly deceased spouse - - - - - - - - Mourngasm

by Jack Bozdog July 1, 2006

CANUSA

The Canadian U.S.A. border. It is prononced "CAN-U.S.A.".

Our Off-road club will take on your off-road club across CANUSA anytime!

by Jack Bozdog August 3, 2006

self-heating sleeping bag

The #1 why beans are so popular as a camping food...

...is that they create the self-heating sleeping bag at night!

by Jack Bozdog November 27, 2006

earguardless

When you need to wear hearing protection, but you don't.

A J Foyt is almost deaf because he drove racecars for 20 years earguardless.

by Jack Bozdog June 11, 2006

sugar muffin

1. A female who is really sweet.

2. Great tasting pussy!

My wife is such a sugar muffin (1&2)!

by Jack Bozdog January 1, 2007