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Person on twitter: I had a seizure salad, it was good af.
Other person on twitter: You DENSE motherfucker...
Other person on twitter: You DENSE motherfucker...
by Intelligence001 December 30, 2016
Get the Seizure Salad mug.The Danish word for "shit." Well, it was, until a bunch of uneducated morons decided it meant "Before Anyone Else" in reference to their love interest. If they said the word to someone in Denmark, they'd get the "bæ" kicked out of them.
American teen: Hey bae! what's up?
Danish teen: Hvad fanden er der galt med dig, meningsløs gris? (What the hell is wrong with you, senseless pig?)
Danish teen: Hvad fanden er der galt med dig, meningsløs gris? (What the hell is wrong with you, senseless pig?)
by Intelligence001 January 2, 2017
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Get the DUMB mug.A beast from the Lord of the Rings trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien. She is most well known for heavily resembling a monstrous spider, albeit with a wasp stinger and a gaping mouth, despite real world spiders having a liquid diet. She appeared in The Two Towers, but the film places her in Return of the King.
"Most like a spider she was, but huger than the great hunting beasts, and more terrible than they because of the evil purpose in her remorseless eyes. Great horns she had, and behind her short stalk-like neck was her huge swollen body, a vast bloated bag, swaying and sagging beneath her legs; its great bulk was black, blotched with livid marks, but the belly underneath was pale and luminous and gave forth a stench. Her legs were bent, with great knobbed joints high above her back, and hairs that stuck out like steel spines, and at each leg's end there was a claw." -Description of Shelob from The Two Towers
by Intelligence001 January 8, 2017
Get the Shelob mug.A vicious creature that lives in the ocean and attacks campers. Here are some rules to follow to prevent attracting these beasts:
1. Don't play the clarinet poorly.
2. Don't wave an active flashlight back and forth. (Flashlights are considered natural prey.)
3. Don't stomp around; they take it as a challenge.
4. Don't eat cheese. (Cubed. Sliced is just fine.)
5. Never wear a sombrero in a goofy fashion.
6. Or clown shoes.
7. Or a hoop skirt.
8. NEVER, EVER, EVER, SCREECH LIKE A CHIMPANZEE.
9. In the event of an attack, do not run. They are agitated by it and will seize the opportunity to attack again.
10. Do not limp, either. They hate that even more than running.
In the event you detect a nearby sea bear, or otherwise feel unsure you are located in sea bear territory, draw a perfect circle in the sand, sit in the middle, and wait for the danger to pass. An oval is not sufficient.
1. Don't play the clarinet poorly.
2. Don't wave an active flashlight back and forth. (Flashlights are considered natural prey.)
3. Don't stomp around; they take it as a challenge.
4. Don't eat cheese. (Cubed. Sliced is just fine.)
5. Never wear a sombrero in a goofy fashion.
6. Or clown shoes.
7. Or a hoop skirt.
8. NEVER, EVER, EVER, SCREECH LIKE A CHIMPANZEE.
9. In the event of an attack, do not run. They are agitated by it and will seize the opportunity to attack again.
10. Do not limp, either. They hate that even more than running.
In the event you detect a nearby sea bear, or otherwise feel unsure you are located in sea bear territory, draw a perfect circle in the sand, sit in the middle, and wait for the danger to pass. An oval is not sufficient.
Whether or not the sea bear exists is up for debate, as only one person is known to have survived a sea bear attack. (Witnesses claim he was incompetent enough to try all known ways to attract a sea bear.)
by Intelligence001 February 6, 2017
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