InTheKitchenCookingActualPies's definitions

sexsagge

When a man is having a woman from behind, while also giving her a back massage.

Girl "This morning my back really hurts, but I am horney too."
Guy "How about a sexsagge?"
Girl "Ok!" (Flips over)

by InTheKitchenCookingActualPies February 2, 2014

eyebrash

1: When a persons eyebrows are so disgustingly untamed and long, that the eyebrows practically invade and rival eyelash territory.

Example:

Girl 1: My drivers ed teacher has like, the longest eyebrows EVER!

Girl 2: Eww! Are they like, eyebrashes?

Girl 1: Totally! It's like he wears like, mascara on them.

Girl 2: He sounds like, totes gross.

by InTheKitchenCookingActualPies August 19, 2014

Five dollar foot long

When a guy doesn't have much money, but he's got a big dick.

Girl: "I've been hanging around this new guy lately... he can't pay my bills, but his dick is enormous."
Other girl: "Ah, sounds like a total five dollar foot long."

by InTheKitchenCookingActualPies December 13, 2016

Ba-da liki mala da shini malaga

A great way to wrap up a rambling drunken voicemail to someone. When executed properly, you will achieve three things:

1- You will appear to be actually smarter than the recipient, because they will assume you either speak another language they have never heard, or are referencing pop culture they are unaware of
2- The rest of your idiocy in your message will be overshadowed by this shocking soliloquy change
3- You'll get talked about, and really any press is good press.

Drunk guy leaving a message: " Heyyyyy, how are you? I don’t know why you’re ignoring me, I didn’t do anything wrong. Um. Yeah, like, what the, what happened man, we like didn’t meet up… right? And then next thing you know you just don’t wanna talk to me now? You know you’re going to see me when the summer time comes. And you’re gonna see me, and I’m going to be jacked out and you’re gonna be like, “fuck, I coulda duh duh duh duh” or you gonna hear about a girl that i was with and be like, “What he like what and he what his what with what in the what!?” and then you’re going to be like, “Daaaamn.” So let’s skip all that and let’s start talking again cuz I didn’t do anything mean to you or bad to you, we just couldn’t freaking get on the same wavelength of time to make a date to hang out. This time, let’s just meet and boom, quick and easy, ba-da liki mala da shini malaga, and everything’s cool, alright? Ok. Bye."

by InTheKitchenCookingActualPies December 13, 2016

Dutch Boy

(Noun) A man who is really supremely nice and innocent. Usually someone's devoted, loving husband, who tells his wife how much he loves her every day (and means it). The type of guy who you would vote to be mayor, and know that he would actually be a good person in political office. There is nothing bad to say about this person, although people like to make a point to say how he's so freaking nice, as though it were a bad thing. You would assume his shit don't stank. Likely to marry a Canadian because they are also very nice people.

Emily: "Evan's going to be one of the judges at the lingerie show this Friday!"

Daphne: "Really? But he's such a Dutch boy."

Emily: "lol, I know, he'll definitely be the nicest judge. By the way, I'm seeing my family in Toronto soon."

canadian nice guy dutch sweet

by InTheKitchenCookingActualPies November 4, 2015

accidental neckbeardism

When one employs the well-intentioned albeit condescending misogynism of a neckbeard by mistake, often through a misunderstanding that occurs through timing or coincidence.

Woke guy #1: Just left rehearsal for Fiddler on the Roof and still had my fedora on. Went to fix it as this woman walked by me, and I'm pretty sure she thought I was tipping my hat to her.

Woke guy #2: Man, what an accidental neckbeardism. Bet you just want to die.

by InTheKitchenCookingActualPies February 4, 2019

friendship burger

A friendship burger is the kind of burger you get with a friend. This phrase is the best way to note that your burger-getting is platonic and friendly in nature. The antonym to "sexy burger" where one shares a burger date with someone with whom they share sexual ideals.

Bebe: "But for real, if you want to grab a friendship burger sometime, let me know!"
Ver: "Yeah, lemme just wait til I'm done with my diet this month"
Bebe: "Cool cool... just wanted to make sure you didn't think I wanted to get a sexy burger with ya, friend!"

by InTheKitchenCookingActualPies February 23, 2019