Illinois Joe's definitions

satan's asshole

The DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles). First used by comedian Dane Cook, it describes what it's like to wait in line for hours with no air conditioning with whiny kids, smelly cocksuckers, and people talking on their god damn cell phones, just so you can get your driver's license.

I had to get my driver's license from satan's asshole today.

by Illinois Joe October 7, 2004

LSD

Lake Shore Drive. A road on the east side of Chicago that runs almost parallel to the shore of Lake Michigan.
Made famous outside of Chicago by the band Aliotta, Haynes, and Jeremiah.

Cruising on LSD is only legal in Chicago.

by Illinois Joe October 7, 2004

frankenstein

1.an instrumental by the Edgar Winter Group that is regarded as one of the best instrumental rock songs ever
2.John Kerry, so called because he looks and talks like frankenstein

George W. Bush is running against Frankenstein

by Illinois Joe October 7, 2004

lampshade

a foreskin so big, you can make a lampshade out of it.

the uncut dude has a lampshade

by Illinois Joe November 21, 2004

bench clearer

In baseball, when two players start a fight on the field and both teams join in, you have a bench clearer.

There was a big bench clearer between the Padres and the Cardinals and everyone got their ass whupt.

by Illinois Joe May 27, 2006

B 'n' E

Short for breaking and entering.

Cletus got charged with b 'n' e last monday.

by Illinois Joe November 22, 2004

bustdown

A slut or whore. A woman who has loose morals, among other things.

That bustdown slept with 50 guys in the past week!

by Illinois Joe May 27, 2006