Chessturbate

To play non-computer chess by yourself.

Jane was bored, so she decided to sit at the chess board and chessturbate.

by I-Am-The-Cold July 17, 2017

My Ass is an Asshole

When your ass is most active at inconvenient times.

Scenario 1: You are on a bus that is full, but silent and you really need to let one rip
You (Silently talking to self): "My ass is an asshole at the current time..." *PRRRRRT*

*1 million eyes in your direction*
You (Talking aloud): "Shit..."

by I-Am-The-Cold July 23, 2014

The Game of Fathers

A game in which three or more men ejaculate in a cup, stir it, and pour it in the female's vagina.

Whoever the child resembles the most in the end, keeps the baby and the woman.

Me, Josh, and Reagan played the game of fathers nine months ago. Reagan and Zoey are happily married with their new baby

by I-Am-The-Cold August 25, 2015

Scared Soft

To be scared so much that your erect penis is softened.

Damn, Hannah thought it was funny to burst into my room when I was fapping. I got scared soft.

by I-Am-The-Cold August 10, 2015

Peanut butter jelly sandwich

When a woman is on her period and doesn't do a good enough job wiping after taking a shit, blood and crap are stuck in the butt crack and are therefore called a peanut butter jelly sandwich.

My girlfriend Teresa is so gross. She never washed away that nasty peanut butter jelly sandwich forming in her ass crack.

by I-Am-The-Cold June 13, 2016