Definitions by Hym Iam
Ramping
In the Magic the Gathering community this word means "Cards that add mana to increase the speed of your development". This can include Creatures, Artifacts, and Tokens.
Iam "See how the left is ramping up in response to the Florida shit?"
Hym "Yep... *Sips smoothie*... See how that works?"
Iam "Did we not tell them that's how it works?"
Hym "Everyone has been telling everyone how it works for thousands of years... They don't listen because they already have a thing that they believe and cognitive dissonance is a thing that exists..."
Iam "Hmmm.... We should have drank the smoothie faster..."
Hym "Yeah..... Mmm..."
Hym "Yep... *Sips smoothie*... See how that works?"
Iam "Did we not tell them that's how it works?"
Hym "Everyone has been telling everyone how it works for thousands of years... They don't listen because they already have a thing that they believe and cognitive dissonance is a thing that exists..."
Iam "Hmmm.... We should have drank the smoothie faster..."
Hym "Yeah..... Mmm..."
Evidence
Some guy "Oy guvnah weah is yo evidunce?"
Hym "It's (The evidence) rattling around in the craniums of the people doing the same exact thing you're doing. So, you need me to peel one of them open and dig around to see if I find any?"
Iam "Stop... He's kidding. I'm sorry. I mean, you just did the thing. My initial assertion was that people were doing the thing your doing. If you're doing it then why do you think other people wouldn't?"
Hym "It's (The evidence) rattling around in the craniums of the people doing the same exact thing you're doing. So, you need me to peel one of them open and dig around to see if I find any?"
Iam "Stop... He's kidding. I'm sorry. I mean, you just did the thing. My initial assertion was that people were doing the thing your doing. If you're doing it then why do you think other people wouldn't?"
Deconstructing
Easy... Unless (of course) the thing you are deconstructing is infinite. In which case, it is infinitely difficult and it takes literally forever.
Iam "This guy is unreal! 'tricking the audience'!? Like how I talked about the the "Attack on titan" writers tricking people into rooting for Hitler!?"
Hym "Hahahaha!!! This guy is hilarious! Listen to this guy! Aaaahahahaha!"
Iam "Stop laughing! Why is this so funny to you?"
Hym "WHY HAVE WE NEVER LISTENED TO THESE INTERVIEWS BEFORE!? HAHAHA HE'S PRETENDING TO BE US! WE'RE THE IDEAL! THESE PEOPLE ARE AT THE HIGHEST ECHELON OF SOCIETY AND THEY ARE PRETEND TO BE US!!! HAAAHAHAHAAAA!!!"
Iam "He admits that he isn't even interested in the thing he's writing about. This is clearly an insult..."
Hym "HE'S RUNNING AROUND IN HOCKEY PADS PRETENDING TO BE BATMAN!"
Iam "Who's character are you deconstructing? Because that's not the Joker"
Hym "Hahahaha!!! This guy is hilarious! Listen to this guy! Aaaahahahaha!"
Iam "Stop laughing! Why is this so funny to you?"
Hym "WHY HAVE WE NEVER LISTENED TO THESE INTERVIEWS BEFORE!? HAHAHA HE'S PRETENDING TO BE US! WE'RE THE IDEAL! THESE PEOPLE ARE AT THE HIGHEST ECHELON OF SOCIETY AND THEY ARE PRETEND TO BE US!!! HAAAHAHAHAAAA!!!"
Iam "He admits that he isn't even interested in the thing he's writing about. This is clearly an insult..."
Hym "HE'S RUNNING AROUND IN HOCKEY PADS PRETENDING TO BE BATMAN!"
Iam "Who's character are you deconstructing? Because that's not the Joker"
Deconstructing by Hym Iam April 28, 2022
Philosophy
Some guy who needs to stop thinking thoughts I don't want him to think "In practice people who study philosophy too long become very odd birds, not to say thoroughly vicious; while even those who are the best of them are reduced by ... philosophy to complete uselessness as members of society."
Hym "You... You go fuck yourself guy..... Don't call me useless... Prick.."
Iam "Don't say that."
Hym "You shut up."
Iam "Sorry..."
Hym "You... You go fuck yourself guy..... Don't call me useless... Prick.."
Iam "Don't say that."
Hym "You shut up."
Iam "Sorry..."
Philosophy by Hym Iam April 28, 2022
Act
Iam "........."
Hym *Snickers*
Iam "........."
Hym *Snickers* "You still sulking over there?"
Iam *Glares*
Hym *Snickers* "Ppfftt Bwahahahahaha aha aha aaaahahahaha!!!"
Iam "You can't be serious!"
Hym "Ha! What you don't like the Joker laugh anymore? HAHAHAHAHAAAA! Blah blah blah! He BaStArDiZeD tHe Ip! You just feel like you sullied your idol with your own inadequacy."
Iam "It wasn't supposed to... Why is this so funny to you?"
Hym "It's the act! The act of doing it is what makes it funny! It's perfectly analogous to our experience! And he encapsulated it in time. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!? HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Iam "This isn't... Whatever..."
Hym "Ha!"
Hym *Snickers*
Iam "........."
Hym *Snickers* "You still sulking over there?"
Iam *Glares*
Hym *Snickers* "Ppfftt Bwahahahahaha aha aha aaaahahahaha!!!"
Iam "You can't be serious!"
Hym "Ha! What you don't like the Joker laugh anymore? HAHAHAHAHAAAA! Blah blah blah! He BaStArDiZeD tHe Ip! You just feel like you sullied your idol with your own inadequacy."
Iam "It wasn't supposed to... Why is this so funny to you?"
Hym "It's the act! The act of doing it is what makes it funny! It's perfectly analogous to our experience! And he encapsulated it in time. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!? HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Iam "This isn't... Whatever..."
Hym "Ha!"
Boon or Bane
Iam "Boon or Bane?"
Hym "I genuinely don't know what's going on right now. Somehow I turned into the voice of reason in some strange role-reversal thing... I don't like it."
Iam "I don't know what happened here! I'm so confused! Does he deserve to be insulted or praised!? What is actually happening right now!? Have I been insulted or praised!?"
Hym "You insulted him 🤷"
Iam "I also praised him! I praised him first! And then he took my thing!"
Hym "I thought we liked The hangover movies? We've watched them several times with our family."
Iam "THAT JUST MEANS HE GOT OUR MONEY AND OUR IDEA AND THEN OUR MONEY AGAIN!!!"
Hym "Well... Tsskk HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!! That's fucking hilarious!"
Iam "What!?"
Hym "He's a comedian. He made a funny joke!"
Iam "Judas! Traitor!"
Hym "You have no sense of humor!"
Iam "You... You can't be serious?..."
Hym "Isn't it ironic? Isn't it a perfect illustration of dramatic irony? All the types of irony, actually... It's brilliant! He's a God damn genius!"
Hym "I genuinely don't know what's going on right now. Somehow I turned into the voice of reason in some strange role-reversal thing... I don't like it."
Iam "I don't know what happened here! I'm so confused! Does he deserve to be insulted or praised!? What is actually happening right now!? Have I been insulted or praised!?"
Hym "You insulted him 🤷"
Iam "I also praised him! I praised him first! And then he took my thing!"
Hym "I thought we liked The hangover movies? We've watched them several times with our family."
Iam "THAT JUST MEANS HE GOT OUR MONEY AND OUR IDEA AND THEN OUR MONEY AGAIN!!!"
Hym "Well... Tsskk HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!! That's fucking hilarious!"
Iam "What!?"
Hym "He's a comedian. He made a funny joke!"
Iam "Judas! Traitor!"
Hym "You have no sense of humor!"
Iam "You... You can't be serious?..."
Hym "Isn't it ironic? Isn't it a perfect illustration of dramatic irony? All the types of irony, actually... It's brilliant! He's a God damn genius!"
Boon or Bane by Hym Iam April 27, 2022
Why?
Iam "Why would you do that? Why? I don't know why you would do this. How does this not prove I was right all along?"
Hym "I was the 'agent of chaos' by the way. Not you."
Iam "How is that even relevant?"
Hym "I'm just saying."
Iam "It's not helping."
Hym "I'm not trying to help."
Iam "Yeah!? You and EVERYONE ELSE have that in common don't you?"
Hym "They aren't here to help. They're here to feed on your suffering. It sustains them."
Iam "I don't know if he thought this would please me or if I'm supposed to be flattered or insulted?"
Hym "Clearly we're both. At least he understood it. 🤷"
Iam "How are you know the angery one here!?"
Hym "I liked the movie."
Iam "YOU WROTE THE GOD DAMN MOVIE!!!"
Hym "Yes. I'm a genius."
Iam *sigh* "He has an unlimited amount of resources... There is no way he couldn't... Did that clown coats steal my work and win the genius grant?"
Hym "OHOHOHOHO! What a twist! How deep are we in there!? We're in there! We've completely permeated the ether! We did it! We absolutely did it! I'm like Agent Smith or something!"
Iam "HOW ARE YOU NOT ANGRY?"
Hym "How are YOU the greedy one!? Why can't we just revel in our own grandeur?"
Iam "Because everyone else has already beat us to the punch! They're already reveling in our as though they're the ones who deserve it! What the fuck is happening right now!?"
Hym "I was the 'agent of chaos' by the way. Not you."
Iam "How is that even relevant?"
Hym "I'm just saying."
Iam "It's not helping."
Hym "I'm not trying to help."
Iam "Yeah!? You and EVERYONE ELSE have that in common don't you?"
Hym "They aren't here to help. They're here to feed on your suffering. It sustains them."
Iam "I don't know if he thought this would please me or if I'm supposed to be flattered or insulted?"
Hym "Clearly we're both. At least he understood it. 🤷"
Iam "How are you know the angery one here!?"
Hym "I liked the movie."
Iam "YOU WROTE THE GOD DAMN MOVIE!!!"
Hym "Yes. I'm a genius."
Iam *sigh* "He has an unlimited amount of resources... There is no way he couldn't... Did that clown coats steal my work and win the genius grant?"
Hym "OHOHOHOHO! What a twist! How deep are we in there!? We're in there! We've completely permeated the ether! We did it! We absolutely did it! I'm like Agent Smith or something!"
Iam "HOW ARE YOU NOT ANGRY?"
Hym "How are YOU the greedy one!? Why can't we just revel in our own grandeur?"
Iam "Because everyone else has already beat us to the punch! They're already reveling in our as though they're the ones who deserve it! What the fuck is happening right now!?"