Hym Iam's definitions

Breaking news!

Sentient chicken pot-pie doesn't like fire. Condemns Self-Immolation.

Hym "Breaking news! I'm running out of 'things that go in ovens' to call him. A Thanksgiving turkey! Living lasagna! Assorted bakery foods. Muffin (a repeat), Brownies (Which SOUNDS racist but isn't), Birthday Cake (Just seems lazy), A ziti? Baked ziti? I don't even know what that is. It's hard to think of non-bakery things. Meatloaf (another repeat). Roast beef? Do jews have baked goods? That'd be like a poptart cooking a poptart, wouldn't it? Pizza. Calzones. A baby. You can cook a baby in an oven. So, that counts... Hmmm... Pie. Obviously. Stuffed hashbrowns... I need to cook more."

by Hym Iam February 29, 2024

Skittles gummies

Oh shit what the fuck!? THIS EXIST!?

Hym "Skittles gummies are a thing!? I didn't read the bag before I opened it! This is both disappointing and delicious!"

by Hym Iam February 29, 2024

Theory of Mind

Hey! Look at that! Simon Baron-Cohen episode! Finally! It's all coming full circle- It's coming back around! Yeah...

Hym "Heeeey! Simon. Look at that! Look at this! I can't believe I didn't see that initially. I probably would have watched that one sooner. That's what I should call my book, by the way. 'Theory of Mind: Mind-Brain duality and why determinism is fucking retarded.' I'm glad your here. Now you can tell Jordan I'm not being immature and you can tell everyone that they're doing empathy to me wrong. Additionally, the weaponized schizophrenia is something you should really be concerned about AND... The lack of me getting credit and payment is getting dangerously child-murdery! So yeah..."

by Hym Iam July 17, 2025

I CHOOSE NOAH!!

Yeah, keep screaming it moron. Noah has never posted anything here he does not have a phone.

Iam "For the past 15 years I have been-"

Whore "I CHOOSE NOAH!!!"

Hym "You're a retarded whore and you fuck retards with fat cocks so you can feel intelligent get your cervix pounded."

Whore "I CHOOSE NOAAAAAAAH!!! AAAAAAAAH! BLULULULULULULULULU!"

Hym "You being like this is why your kids are like this and if they weren't they would stop getting mass murdered overnight."

Whore "I CHOOSE NOAAAAAAAAH!!!!! BLULULULULULU! I'M IMMORTAAAAAAAAL!!!!"

Hym "Name the person I am better than."

Whore "NOAAAAAAHULULULULULULULU- Er- Wait... I CHOOSE NOAAAAAAAH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Hym "Heheheheheheh..."

by Hym Iam June 30, 2025

Play along

Is it just the trans though, Louise? You have it too, by the way. The scent. It's faint but it's there.

Hym "Don't YOU also need ME to play along as well? With your social economy? I need to play long and agree that your kids lives have some sort of inflated existential value... The artificially inflated value of sex... Inflated value of women... Shit, even the inflated value of MEN! I have to play along with inflated self-worth delusion of some fucking retard in the hopes that one day someone will sign off on my escape from subsidiarity... And finally... I'LL be justified in acting out a status delusion of my very own... AND YOU'LL HAVE TO PLAY ALONG! Am I not expected to affirm your status in the same way you're expected to affirm their gender? Isn't it incumbent on me to play along so we can all get along? Well... Not really get alone so much as slave beneath you indefinitely to keep society functioning while you throw yourself at fat-cocks but you get the picture. Let see... What else? I'll think of more. For now, I think I've made my point."

by Hym Iam December 4, 2023

Right

What I have a right to do is not going to matter when I kill that kid and then myself.

Hym "What I have a right to do isn't going to matter and you'll regret this more than I will."

by Hym Iam August 12, 2024

Server

Oh, hey, the severs back up.

Hym "Wouldn't you look at that! The server is up. Even though that apparently has no relationship to whether or not people see this. Neat."

by Hym Iam September 5, 2024