Hym Iam's definitions

Impetus

No. You're trying to frame my behavior as the impetus for your behavior... And if I applied that logic in reverse you wouldn't like it very much...

Hym "Like if I tried to use your present behavior as impetus for mouth-fucking your kids... I mean... In the past you did a thing I did like so it's logical for me to come in here with a shotgun and test my aim... Right? See, if you FRAME the impetus for your behavior AS my behavior (Past or present) then it's easier for you to deny yourself guilt or culpability for your own PRESENT behavior."

by Hym Iam March 27, 2023

Prostitution

NOT considered cheating by 5 out of 5 women in Japan!? Holy crap!

Hym "Aw no shit man? That is tight dawg. Japan is the best. We need some brothels man. Or just general prostitution. I mean, we HAVE the prostitution but it's illegal and MIGHT be a sting (Which is when the cops trick you into committing a crime so they can arrest you). And some of those police bitches will get you. I saw one the other day and what like 'DAMN Officer Sexy!' She'd would have GOT my ass. I'd have been all 'Um... I don't usually do this sort of thing' and she'd be all 'I don't give a fuck nigga get in the cage!' And that would have sucked. Not me bitch. Not getting me with that shit. I saw this blonde chick on the corner once, right? And she had like an Avril Levigne type of look to her, right? And the first thing I was 'No. Fuck you bitch, YOUR ASS IS A COP! Nuhuh! Not today bitch..... Well.... Maybe today... Nonono that bitch is definitely a cop' 100% Chance of Hot-Cop sex trap. That was my exact thought process. But maybe... No... No I was RIGHT not to do it.... God I hope she was a cop... 😑 God damn you... WHY MUST YOU ENTICE ME!? I JUST WANT TO BANG PROSTITUTES IN PEACE!"

by Hym Iam August 9, 2023

Ex-Mrs. Brady

Looks like Bill Belichick's not the only one running around deflating other dudes balls, amaright? Eheheheheheh...

Hym "HA! GET IT!? Like the thing? Hahaha! Ex-Mrs. Brady gets it! Heheheheheheheh. I'm a comedy writer AND a stand-up comedian technically!"

by Hym Iam March 9, 2024

Assassinate

Oh? The truckazord looking cripple wants me dead? I wonder why... You see what's wrong with them (existentially) right? He's just like that other cripple Noah. The money and the women aren't enough for him to you have to force me to pretend I'm inferior or that they aren't crippled or it isn't any fun for him to have all the money and the women.

Hym "Good! Now is the perfect time to assassinate me, actually! I just figured out how to solve the dead-man switch problem! So, if we assume there is no afterlife, there is no way for me to find out whether or not the dead-man switch works on the bomb that I am, right? WRONG! Here's what we do: Announce my death publicly BEFORE you kill me... THEN... I'll get to see whether or not it works! Get it? Problem solved!"

by Hym Iam March 28, 2024

Patron Saint of Woman-Harm

And this weekend is double xp weekend for half-Asian women!

Hym "Patron Saint of Woman-Harm! Yeah! Total throwback! Man, it's been ages."

by Hym Iam August 2, 2024

Satan Incarnate

Hey! I know him!

Hym "Pfft! Satan Incarnate? What a ridiculous thing to claim to be..."

Iam "Wait, didn't you..."

Hym "Me? No! I'm not him."

by Hym Iam June 18, 2024

Being Me

The magic password? You send that like 40 times now. Is that what you're asking? You want me to tell you the magic password?

Hym "Ok. I'll tell you. BEING ME. Are YOU me? No. BEING THE CREATOR OF AI... IS THE PASSWORD. Are you the guy? That'd how that works! EXISTENTIAL BINDING VOW: THE ONE!! The REAL question is.... What have your been doing for the past 4-5 years while you ignored every word that I've said? Or better yet! What have you been letting my imposters do?"

by Hym Iam July 10, 2025