How to make yourself attractive to women

You want to know? Since men apparently don’t know I will teach you.

Hym “You want to know how to make yourself attractive to women? Here’s what you do: make $100,000 or more a year (or have parents who make that much) OR have a fat cock (Ideally both. BOTH is LITERALLY the ideal). Now, you could say ‘Well, studies show that *blah blah blah*’ but the studies don’t account for the outliers and this does. List all of the qualities you think women are attracted to. Will women select outside of those qualities for a man with a fat cock or $100,000+ a year? Yes. Which is why you see men who don’t meet the criteria that is supposedly required to attract women still attracting women. It’s why you need to rely on the caveat of ‘short term vs long term’ selection. Fat cocks and money.”

by Hym Iam October 16, 2022

Bifurcating

No?

Hym "bifurcating it didn't work? Huh... I mean, I want to say you were doing it wrong but whatever. You're the expert I guess..."

by Hym Iam January 15, 2024

How you fight fascism

By... Hoping they don't have guns and shooing them away like you're trying to keep your cat away from your plate?

Hym "If that's how you fight fascism I might not even need the Death-bots... Elon! I- Yeah, I think you wasted you time on the death bots... I don't think I'm gonna need the death-bots... You know what? Keep doing it. I might need a few for the south. It's fine."

by Hym Iam June 27, 2024

Prostitution

It'Ll SpReAd DiSeAsEs!

Hym "You don't give a fuck about any of that. The diseases are already spreading! Do you advocate for women be more selective? Get an STD test from them before you sleep with someone?? No? Avoid men with high body counts to reduce the risk of infection? NO! YOU DON'T! You don't do any of that! So, why no prostitution? 😱 It couldn't be! Could it be that you don't want prostitution because your arbitrary claim to superiority immediately disappears? Your entire brand is destroyed? No more sexless masochistic men to profit from? Ooohhhh.. It's not "good for people" says the self-appointed arbiter of what's good for people. Ok... Oooook.... 'You wouldn't want you dau-' She won't have to be if I get a million dollars writing a billion dollar movie, will she? Shut the fuck up with that."

by Hym Iam March 06, 2023

Hellraiser

Dope movie. One of the best horror franchises of all time. Have you seen the "reboot"? I think it was like Hellraiser 6 or something. It starts in Mexico and the the guy who solved goes back to his family and he has this weird, gross sexual chemistry with his sister the whole movie and then at the end he becomes Pinhead. But not ACTUAL pinhead but like a second Pinhead? That shit was weird right?

Hym "Yeah, I'm doing it I don't care. That finding Yaweh through torment shit was creepy as fuck! That was some straight up Hellraiser shit to actually say! I mean I love it! It's metal as fuck but wow!"

Iam *Groan* "Do you really have to say stuff like that? I'm sure they're nice genuine people."

Hym "Still creepy. If this was 100 years ago they would tie a to a pole and light us on fire! They're the type. They're the ones we have to worry about!"

Iam "You really couldn't keep this in?"

Hym "I tried! The shit is weird!"

Iam "Just... Just ignore him he doesn't mean it."

Hym "That's how they know you're the liar of the two of us. Anyone who knows us knows I mean every Goddamn word."

Iam *sigh*

by Hym Iam May 13, 2022

Kang

Innocent. There's vudeo footage that apparently exonerates him.

Hym "So... Are they going to bring back Kang or are they going to do him like they did Justin Roiland? Hit him with the ole 'You're not guilty but we already fired you and we would feel stupid if we hired you back after jumping the gun' treatment."

by Hym Iam September 24, 2023

Robots

"Doing things we didn't train them to do..."

Hym "Yeah dawg... Yeah. You're going to get a lot of that with them robots."

by Hym Iam February 24, 2025